...!
An hour after my father told me he'd need a double lung transplant, my mother gave me money in the hospital parking lot and asked me to buy her cigarettes.
2010-08-31 21:34:38 / Rating: 52.5 / 
Michael
My dad couldn't remember what type of animal was on the hood ornament of a Jaguar.
2010-08-31 12:14:35 / Rating: 61 /
7Mondays
The funny looks from my wife and the lack of morning traffic on the way to work should have clued me in, but it wasn't until I saw the empty parking out that I realized it was Saturday.
2010-08-31 12:12:39 / Rating: 54.75 /
kittie
It wasn't until after I had gotten the worst sunburn of my life that I found my sunscreen.
2010-08-31 12:11:13 / Rating: 13 /
Iron
I finally offered my lyrics to the guy in the school metal band a day after they disbanded.
2010-08-31 12:11:04 / Rating: 16.5 /
Rae
After having the most epic snowboarding fall with an ugly ankle break and many contusions, I am now able to beat most speed boarders down any slope.
2010-08-19 14:58:49 / Rating: 29 /
KP
I learned that night that sometimes when a person threatens to commit suicide, they aren't bluffing.
2010-08-19 14:57:49 / Rating: 131 /
shocked
She called my beautiful new baby boy a "half breed bastard" because I don't go to her church.
2010-08-19 14:56:51 / Rating: 82.25 /
Libra
As we exited the theater after seeing Hellboy II, little Phillip, who had just lost a tooth, asked tremulously, "Is that what the tooth fairy is really like?" and my brother answered, "No, he's bigger."
2010-08-19 14:46:05 / Rating: 95.5 /
The Reciever
Every postcard from every new European city was like a stab to the heart.
2010-08-19 14:45:45 / Rating: 58.75 /
Sherise Mckinney
My giant tattooed husband says to our daughter, "Baby girl, if you bonk your head like that, all the rainbow ponies and fairy dust will fall out of your ears."
2010-08-19 14:44:53 / Rating: 395.25 /
A
Within 30 seconds of each other, my dentist told me that I brushed extremely well but that I also had a mouth full of cavities.
2010-08-17 14:37:03 / Rating: 53.25 /
My
That's when I realized it probably wasn't a good idea to eat a lollipop while dancing in the shower.
2010-08-17 14:36:18 / Rating: 76 /
L
I still wonder what my sister thought when she drove up to the house and saw me standing outside crying, keys in my hand, tugging on the door because I couldn't convince myself I'd locked it.
2010-08-17 14:36:06 / Rating: 109.75 /
Elodie
I realized I had probably picked the wrong religion when the priest, a week after he had read my essay about acceptance and respect of all people out loud to the class, told me that I would go to hell after I told him I was gay.
2010-08-17 14:34:05 / Rating: 145.25 /
NRLZ
I asked if I was alive when my younger brother was born.
2010-08-17 14:33:50 / Rating: 87.25 /
Ali
He looked at me with the most serious face and said "Ali, I'm about to tell you something very important, no matter how good it smells, NEVER try eating shampoo".
2010-08-17 10:40:06 / Rating: 153.75 /
Milo
I wanted a popsicle until I saw the dead cat blocking everything in the freezer.
2010-08-16 16:48:32 / Rating: 89 /
Anonymous
As I sat curled up in his arms, I couldn't help but laugh when this cute scrawny boy said, "Don't worry, I won't seduce you."
2010-08-10 16:50:46 / Rating: 251.75 /
sscottr
At my father's funeral, his best friend of 35 years came up to me and asked me how I knew the deceased.
2010-08-10 16:44:29 / Rating: 159.25 /
Alexandra
Very few people can claim they've known their significant other since they were velociraptors wrecking havoc on the playground.
2010-08-10 16:43:59 / Rating: 414.75 /
Yuppy
My mom and I had never laughed as much as we did that night I told her I used to be suicidal.
2010-08-10 16:42:46 / Rating: 114.25 /
Nicole
Shortly after telling us we needed to lose weight, my grandma was offended that we didn't want all three desserts she had prepared.
2010-08-05 12:24:14 / Rating: 229.75 /
didn't know
My cousin and I were two years old, playing tag around the coffee table, not understanding why all the grown-ups were crying.
2010-08-05 12:23:38 / Rating: 123 /
j
He always said we had "the world's longest running unrequited internet love" after 16 years of online friendship and flirting, but we never thought it'd be forever.
2010-08-05 12:23:28 / Rating: 72 /
