Verilain
I never had as long or decent a conversation with my mother as the one after I'd hit the deer and totaled the car.
I never had as long or decent a conversation with my mother as the one after I'd hit the deer and totaled the car.
I ran down the middle of the icy street chasing the yellow bus from which 24 of my fellow grade 3 students and the driver had completly forgotten about me after ice skating.
Though it arrived some days ago, what her dad insisted would be "The Best Dust-Buster Money Can Buy" is still in its box.
It went against all my 8-year old instincts that chocolate brown pants don't match fire-truck red shirts, but the animals were the same, dammit.
I thought she was just joking, but I really should have gone to the prom with her.
I sat in meditation for 10 hours a day for eight days before Nothing finally happened.
I fell in love with her on a chat-site, but when she finally showed me her picture, I am ashamed to say, I dumped her immediately.
Even though it's been ten years and I'm visiting a town 100 miles away from where she lives now, I look at everyone passing by, hoping I'll see her.
The first time I saw her put maple syrup on her popcorn I knew I loved her.
His face turned a deep shade of red when his friend thought he had informed me of his buddy's hickie, when I was very aware it was from myself.
I was never able to kiss her goodbye because all of the little girls would have laughed at us.
I think my mid-life crisis has arrived earlier than expected.
The feelings of resentment started when my younger sister got her 10-speed bike at the same time that I did.
For 6 months I tried to figure out what was different about her before her mother told me about her nose job.
Our manager didn't know that you had to push a button to make the drive-thru window open again so her face got stuck.
I know I have nothing to worry about, but I still deleted her messages on his myspace.
Sitting there stoned out of my mind on medical-grade marijuana, I thought I'd lost the ability to comprehend the English language, but then I realized that my brother-in-law was jabbering away at me with his dentures out.
I deliberately listen to songs I loved freshman year to bring myself down.
Laying in bad with my girlfriend and child as they slept, I felt deep in my gut that my divorce was not because I became a lesbian at all, but because of post-partum depression.
No one noticed us hooking up beneath the covers during movie night.
I only have to write one more page for this project that's due tomorrow that I've been working on for three days straight, and I have writer's block.
He endlessly enjoyed being the one white gay boy in a gaggle of straight black girls.
Dad's been dead for six years and Mom died eight months ago, but my sister who was supposed to "take care of everything" just now got around to paying for their headstone.
I woke up shaking and realized I hadn't defeated my fear of puppets.
I thought about taking off my purity ring as my hand gripped him tighter, but I was afraid it would make what we were doing real.
As you were breaking up with me, all I could think about were those mornings when you compared the Pop-Tarts and gave me the one with more frosting.
He didn't think I was being serious when I told him that I would send his ex-girlfriend that text message from his phone.
The fact that I continued running past him for five miles is more symbolic to me than the fact that I started bawling the moment I was in the confines of my home.
My love for him deepened significantly when he offered to cosign my student loans.
I think my dog likes it when I don't have a boyfriend because it means he can sleep on my pillows.
I don't resent the fact that she jumped on me in the swimming pool, because now I can tell people that the scar on my forehead was put there by the knee of a flying Asian.
I love watching people's faces as they realize that when I'm talking about my parents, it's not Mom and Dad but Mom and Deb.
When I replied to the ferry operator, "No, I don't get seasick," my boyfriend looked at me incredulously, yet later with compassion when I used the barf bag for the fifth time during the two-hour catamaran ride to Heron Island.
Sometimes I'm surprised by how a simple thing like pancakes and coffee on a rainy day can temporarily nullify everything negative.
The real trouble began when he set me on the bicycle and said, "You're on a hill, you don't have to do anything."
The fact that doctors are sometimes wrong took away my child.
I used to take my grandmother's ring off my finger before I bent over the toilet after every meal out of fearing my grandmother could see me.
When I get scared at night, I look out at the fisherman's boat and feel safe knowing I am not alone.
Now that I think about it... the basement fuse panel is a much shorter trip than the ER was.
The day my grandfather was diagnosed as HIV positive was the day my mother found out she was pregnant with me.
My 18th birthday present was dinner at Shoney's and my father coming out of the closet.
I thought a boy was inviting me to a dance when he was really just calling to see if I could take his shift at work.
As I chased my dog down the street, I cursed the idiot who opened the gate to leave the yard and failed to latch it back.
You hurt my feelings when you said that tall girls are a turn-off.
I've had butterflies for a week, can't stop smiling, and dread what will happen when he finds out I'm not Christian.
Everytime I hang up something from home in my dorm room, I get more homesick.
When I regained consciousness, I found myself sitting on a toilet, pants round my ankles, and angry men banging on the door.
"Is that your daughter?" she asked skeptically, referring to the baby drinking milk from my breast.
As I handed Mr. Paul his wife's prescription-strength deodorant, I commented on the nice weather we were having, and he responded, "Once while I was in the Pacific, a cloud followed me around for a year, and all the boys would say, 'Here comes ol' McGinty.'"
My husband's deployment turned out to be a good thing because I realized that I'm a lot happier without him, a lot stronger than I realized, and more importantly that I don't deserve to be verbally abused.
When I stare into my eleven year old Basset Hound's eyes, I could swear she was telling me that everything was going to be okay.
It's hard for me to concentrate in my lectures because I get distracted by imagining what it'd be like to make out with random people in my class.
I lost my childhood the day I realized Happy Meals no longer filled me up.
I've been awake for three hours and I've already brushed my teeth four times.
Instinct told me to log onto his account, where I saw him telling her that he regrets being with me now that he's met her.
My best friend looked out at the ocean, back at the shore and then at me, and asked "What happened to our clothes?"
His whole group was delayed at the Thailand airport for a day because he didn't know what suitcase his mother packed his clothes in.
I considered myself a Christian until I had to take a religion class at a Jesuit university.
He told me that "I mean the world to him," after he admitted that recently his world had one too many planets.
I watched the old VHS tapes of him filming the ocean for most of the night with the sudden realization that he was filming the ocean because it was the last time he would ever see it again.
"Kill myself" and "Kill it myself" have very different meanings and the typo earned me 30 hours of group therapy.
Today in my embalming lab we sliced, injected, and sutured a woman who is my thriving grandmother's senior by only six days.
My brain is so uncreative and lazy that I use the names of e-mail spammers for the characters in my short stories.
After watching the ant I had trapped inside a water circle for five seconds, I grew extremely pitiful and dried the way so it could walk out.
When asked why I am unable to display more empathy towards her I reply by explaining I have extended so much good will to Claire that I am now dry heaving it.
I am two books into the Bible and I have five pages of questions.
"Is it true that you’re just sleeping with girls to get to twenty-seven because that’s your favorite number?" asked number twenty-two.
It makes me feel powerful every time I hit "Add to Dictionary" in Microsoft Word.
I hated being Asian because people would always ask me, "What are you?"
Feeling bad for the sentences lacking proper props, I "thumbs up" them frequently with the hope that it will make the author's day just that much better.
I have experienced a bizarre feeling monday morning when I realized I couldn't wait to get to the office, even though I had a nice weekend with my friends.
Midway through my father's funeral, I realized that almost everyone at the service probably thought my best friend--whose hand I was clinging to--was my lesbian lover.
I've become so addicted to this web site that I'm reduced to condensing every event of every day to a single sentence including movies, my work day and the birth of my grandchild.
I know that she is selfish and mean, but for some reason I can't shake the fervent wish that she'd believe my side of the story and be my friend again.
Insignificant, I am the mother of a 25-year-old son for whom I neither baked a cake nor mailed a birthday card--I did call him--and I want you to know that perhaps your mother feels as guilty as I do about it and that we LOVE YOU--our precious sons--despite our laziness.
It was after a string of C and D grade essays that I realized I'd be a blue collar worker after all.
I can still feel the way the soles of his feet used to touch mine in our shared crib, even though he's been gone forty-three years.
After leaving that nightmare of a job, I still hear the phantom cell phone ring I used to carry around 24/7.
The fact that I have four children (three being non-identical triplets) after being told I was infertile, just proves that doctors can get things wrong!
The walls aren't flame-retardant for up to one hour, so we have to move.
I always feel better about myself whenever we give feedback to each other in my English class.
When I realized that my three taxonomy courses all had tests in the same week, I wanted to jump off a building.
My boyfriend got really excited when I ate this morning.
The rape is a lie, but I wish it happened so I had a real reason for hating him.
Odd how when I was released from jail, the slammer seemed more like home than my permanent residence ever had.
Bananas taste so much sweeter when mashed before spreading them on toast
For future reference, "just friends" don't feel each other up on the living room floor.
"I'm an English major," I told the vacant-eyed cashier, and then "we're speaking it," after she muttered "English, what's that?"
My rapist went to jail and was released early for "good behavior.".
I sometimes wonder if tricycling head-first into a metal pole when I was three and not being able to remember it happening are connected.
I was so thankful that the Walmart pharmacy was open late that night.
My cousins and I hate our 4-year-old cousin so much that we're getting her an actual lump of coal for Christmas.
My ex-fiance was engaged twice before he met me, and married one of my friends two months after we broke up.
My dad died six years ago and I'm starting forget what he was like because it hurts too much for me to think about him.
As I sat there overwhelmed by Mufasa's death for the umpteenth time, I realized that I hadn't cried at my grandad's funeral.
I can only hope that my spaghetti surprise dinner party isn't a complete disaster, but it doesn't help that I don't even have enough cutlery for eight guests.
I find fictional characters to be better than real people because fictional characters are whatever I want them to be.
Golf Widow makes me sad because she doesn't realize that every woman is a sister.
The upside to my complete lack of substitute teaching jobs after graduation was that I could continue to dye my hair fire-engine red.
Hearing that she got engaged over the weekend, I decided it was time for me to stop regretting not kissing her that night six years ago and for her to start.
He likes the haircut we gave him even though he can't see the big bald spot we left on the back of his head.
That shirt that says "Sisters - Emotional Tech Support" makes me sad because I've always had to outsource.
I'm the sort of person who clicks when he sees a message that says, "Your browser should return to the message board in 2 seconds, or you can click here to go there NOW."
It's been eight years this Thanksgiving, and they still sob over his death.
Old people living on dog food because it's all they can afford must know about a brand I haven't tried yet.
I opened the drawer expecting to find socks for my freezing cold feet, not kama sutra flash cards and a prescription bottle full of Cialis.
In my wildest dreams it never occurred to me that the soundtrack of my love life would be authored by Meatloaf.
As I look back at my high school days I really wish I would have punched that bitch in the face and got some well deserved respect.
He says oral sex from a guy isn't cheating and is surprised I'm packing and moving out.
My stalker surprised me by showing up at my dog's funeral wearing a suit and carrying a bouqet of roses.
My "friends" must think I have problems with my stomach because all they ever hear is, "Sorry I missed your call 'cuz I was in the bathroom."
Lately my clothes have felt incredibly stifling and the first thing I do when I get back from class is rip them off.
She meant it as a joke when she saw our downcast faces and asked "Who died?", but she didn't expect me to answer.
I was practicing a pagan ritual on a fairly empty beach when a young couple walked by, the woman said somewhat under her breath "satanism" and spat into the sand.
The girl I've had a crush on for six years asked me for advice and I told her to stay with her boyfriend because I knew that would make her happy.
Every now and then a sentence will strike me and I'll think, "I wanna write a book about that."
The 1/32nd dose of the experimental drug cut her cancer in half, and I can't help but wonder if she would be alive today if they would have just given her a full therapeutic dose.
I didn't want my mother to know that I had cut myself again, so after trying (and failing) to cover it up with makeup I scratched at that area until it turned red and pretended that it was an eczema rash.
There is nothing better than spending time with people who can identify a Chestnut-sided Warbler.
On Wednesday I'm driving my husband to the airport to be deported.
I never feared a shoe, but as I sit bleeding profusely from my nose, I began to.
I'm afraid someone is going to drown because I stare at the hot lifeguard instead of the children swimming.
Two of my friends and I drove a total of twelve hours to eat dinner in Chicago on Friday night.
Even after I told him I never wanted to speak to him again, he still thought it was important to let me know about the new Radiohead album.
For my father, the disappointment of a son who didn't enjoy athletics was never ameliorated by a daughter ecstatic to fill that void.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he vehemently spat, and I bit my lip in confusion wondering where to begin my heartbroken monologue.
As x = my bank account approaches zero, y = me being nervous exponentially increases.
I'm committed to making lemonade, but I often wish I could pinpoint the moment when I settled for lemons.
I would've gone easier on him if I had realized he joined the fencing class for me.
Sometimes I wonder how the girl who tried stealing my Pokemon cards turned out.
He knows that I'm in love with him but he still tried to hook up with my sister just to hurt me.
I've been counting down to my 18th birthday on a calendar with the heading "# of days of childhood left", but I'm too busy with college to build a fort or play freeze-tag.
It wasn't until I sat up in bed the other night questioning our relationship that I noticed the light that was coming in through the blinds fell across my chest like a prison uniform.
I knew I was out of luck when the suggestion that I'm not gay caused her to choke on her soup.
A beautiful, glamorous black woman laid in the trauma bay after her motorcycle crashed and as we cut her clothes off we realized that her pelvis was horribly broken and she would never be the same.
I'm convinced that if I had just asked her to prom she wouldn't have moved away and we would be together.
I dropped out of the club when I realized I was more excited about the cookies they serve than I was about the actual club.
Even though you say I'm too thin, I still see a fat disgusting slob in the mirror.
Each afternoon when I arrive home from school, I immediately check onesentence to see if there have been any new additions, and when there hasn't, I feel as if my day was entirely pointless.
You would think he would realize she was psychotic when she threatened to blow up my car.