Meg
As a child I wrote in my journal how much I hated my mother and wished I would die, but as an adult, when she told me she had read my childhood journal, I hated myself for writing such horrible things.
2008-06-30 13:24:30 / Rating: 329 / 
Story archives - June 2008
late night McDonalds
When the cashier told me that the pie machine was no longer running, I asked, "Why would you unplug the microwave?"
2008-06-30 13:24:07 / Rating: 236.5 /
Melissa
I knew my boyfriend had finally been accepted into the family when my dad gave him a key to his garage.
2008-06-30 13:21:44 / Rating: 230.5 /
Katy
I finally pitched the tube of Sensodyne that sat untouched in my medicine cabinet for years, and now my teeth hurt.
2008-06-30 13:21:17 / Rating: 180.75 /
sydney
And after I confessed my love for him, he stated that he was flattered and we changed the subject.
2008-06-27 15:22:20 / Rating: 411.25 /
PeanutMcSizzle
Not even my dog pretended to be portable when she hit eighty pounds, and she has legs.
2008-06-27 15:06:05 / Rating: 133.75 /
Erin
As I contemplated removing my birthmark, the woman in the dressing room said she used to have a birthmark just like that and then showed me the hideous scar that replaced it.
2008-06-27 14:54:57 / Rating: 298.5 /
raging
I suddenly came out of the blackout when the ER doctor informed me that my tendon was no longer attached to my middle finger.
2008-06-27 14:54:17 / Rating: 212 /
56910
Streaking with 1234 in the middle of the night at that Christian school just proved that religion had never been a part of my life.
2008-06-27 14:54:04 / Rating: 203.5 /
Hines
I don't even live in Arkansas, but I just learned that my uncle may be my dad, and that my mother's "sister" is probably my grandmother.
2008-06-27 14:43:50 / Rating: 275.75 /
1234
I didn't realize it at the time, but my willingness to go streaking at a Christian school in the middle of the night was probably one of the strongest indicators that religion and I didn't have much time left together.
2008-06-25 22:05:06 / Rating: 505 /
Jess
Slightly mortified, I assured my mother incest wasn't really my thing after she warned me against getting into "trouble" with my cousin.
2008-06-25 20:44:46 / Rating: 284 /
btd
I giggled at my high school graduation when I realized the boy I was walking beside to our seats was the same boy that held my hand at the roller rink in second grade.
2008-06-25 20:42:33 / Rating: 392 /
Ekublai
It was only when my English professor started replacing the "said"s with "and was like"s in my assignments that I started to question the worth of my high school diploma.
2008-06-25 20:39:54 / Rating: 406.5 /
Peanut
The cop and I had a delightful conversation about sweaters and the weather and to this day he does not know that I was drunk and not even 17 yet.
2008-06-25 16:05:41 / Rating: 328 /
Beckii
So I guess they don't lie on the cleaning bottles when they say "Not for internal consumption."
2008-06-25 16:02:07 / Rating: 111.25 /
Chelsey
I surprised myself when I saw my beloved 11th grade teacher at the dog park many years later and still felt speechless around him.
2008-06-24 10:35:16 / Rating: 222.75 /
Carol
I really think that if he didn't die in the plane crash, my grandmother and mother would have turned out so differently.
2008-06-24 10:35:05 / Rating: 189.75 /
Kelex
I met the kid who was my neighbor one street over when we were serving on guard duty in an ammunition depot in Panama.
2008-06-24 10:33:32 / Rating: 191.75 /
Ella
Just as I realized we'd have to stop and find a condom, I saw my host dad staring at us through the car window.
2008-06-24 10:31:58 / Rating: 245.5 /
I'm Sorry
He was looking right, but I was on the left.
2008-06-23 13:59:34 / Rating: 265.75 /
Eliot Scott
When I called my dad, crying, from journalism camp and told him I had no friends, he explained, "Well, Eliot, you're kind of a nerd."
2008-06-23 13:23:36 / Rating: 783 /
Nate
I knew I had it bad for her when I caught myself checking my watch to determine exactly what time our paths crossed each Tuesday, but I never figured I had a chance until the day I caught her checking hers.
2008-06-23 13:22:03 / Rating: 687.5 /
Joe
Note to self: asking "Why am I wet and why does my ass hurt?" after being hypnotized in Vegas usually means a lot of fun was had at your expense.
2008-06-23 13:21:19 / Rating: 220 /
glojo
As she read the police statement, she noticed the cop had used the wrong word to describe what had happened to her, but she was afraid to correct him because it might make her look less innocent than she was.
2008-06-23 13:19:33 / Rating: 192.25 /
Stace
As a first year science teacher, I realised that parent-teacher interviews formed my best ever lessons in human genetics.
2008-06-23 09:47:30 / Rating: 347 /
Brian
I thought I had seen every quirky curve ball life could throw at me until the Army transports arrived to shut down the clown festival.
2008-06-23 09:45:38 / Rating: 225 /
Carissa
I don't care if your last name is a word for a genital condition, I still love every little thing about you.
2008-06-18 10:21:41 / Rating: 406.75 /
ViVi
"Hey," he slurred, barely coherent, as he bent over the sink in the womens' bathroom, "help me wash this sea otter."
2008-06-18 09:44:48 / Rating: 494.75 /
josh
I learned to believe a person when they say, "Trust me, thats flammable."
2008-06-18 09:44:17 / Rating: 315 /
Charles
The moment the bears arrived we knew we had picked the worse of the two campsites.
2008-06-17 17:54:25 / Rating: 264.75 /
madprofessor
If there was ever a good time to stop drinking, it was this morning when I woke up next to a woman in a giraffe costume.
2008-06-17 13:22:51 / Rating: 663.25 /
josh
35 feet looks a lot less painful than it feels.
2008-06-17 13:20:59 / Rating: 317 /
Barbara
Upon hearing of my father's death, I calmly noted that people really do drop the phone when they hear bad news.
2008-06-17 13:18:39 / Rating: 359.25 /
She never knew
I first realized I was overweight when, at 12 years old, my dad congratulated me on my newest diet plan because he was placing a 'no fat chicks allowed' bumper sticker on the family's brand new boat bought for the following summer.
2008-06-17 13:17:07 / Rating: 214.5 /
Katie
When you deleted, "I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world," from your profile, I decided our relationship wasn't gonna work out.
2008-06-16 16:11:51 / Rating: 303 /
Sam W.
I knew it wasn't love when he said he actually preferred regular Oreos over Double Stuf.
2008-06-16 16:10:34 / Rating: 166.25 /
Sam W.
She realized I had lied about my "restaurant experience" when she saw her ceiling was dripping with balsamic vinaigrette.
2008-06-16 16:10:13 / Rating: 198.75 /
Sam W.
As the man sitting next to me on the plane bragged about how he had died three times, I crossed my fingers and quietly prayed for us to land before number four.
2008-06-16 16:10:04 / Rating: 302.75 /
Sambuka
I just found my biological dad last week and can't decide if I should wish him a happy Father's Day or not.
2008-06-16 16:09:15 / Rating: 158.75 /
CaRD
In fifth grade, a classmate asked me to pull down my pants and when I did, he just pointed, laughed, and walked away.
2008-06-16 16:05:50 / Rating: 249.75 /
musicjunkie
If I had known I was going to accidentally turn my head to face yours at just the right moment, I would have chosen a much more romantic setting than a Walgreen's parking lot.
2008-06-13 13:43:04 / Rating: 403.75 /
Teacher
Standing at the front of the room, I suddenly realize that middle schoolers still intimidate me as much as they ever did when I was in middle school.
2008-06-13 13:42:40 / Rating: 318.25 /
Jake Justice
As I walked away, it started to rain, and I thought it was a beautiful end to the relationship.
2008-06-13 13:42:08 / Rating: 380.5 /
Corner Room
It's not until you live in a dorm room that shares a wall with a stairwell that you realize people are horrible at carrying things up and down steps.
2008-06-13 13:40:49 / Rating: 339.5 /
Elee
Walking home in the pouring rain was not the best time to discover a hole in my shoe.
2008-06-13 13:39:44 / Rating: 216.25 /
Travis B
My spare tire was also flat.
2008-06-12 14:31:49 / Rating: 516.25 /
CW
The other day, my mother, who knows of my eating disorder of seven years, informed me that I wasn't skinny.
2008-06-11 16:26:34 / Rating: 310.5 /
Rebel
I lost the ping-pong tournament to an exchange student who apparently has nothing better to do in his country.
2008-06-11 16:25:11 / Rating: 230.25 /
Call Me Friend
My mother told me she was considering an offer by a coworker, money for sex.
2008-06-11 14:18:37 / Rating: 200.25 /
Dormouse
Hedgehog bath time is as stressful as baby bath time.
2008-06-11 14:17:59 / Rating: 233.5 /
micaela
I would have never have met my true love if it weren't for my sudden desire to plant turnips.
2008-06-11 13:10:15 / Rating: 302.75 /
netherworld
"Your mother has never sat on a bar stool in her life," my father told me, and I replied, "Your mother has, and next to me."
2008-06-11 13:10:02 / Rating: 206 /
a little bird
My Jewish family had a lovely Christmas dinner with a Muslim family talking about art, architecture, wine, and the world and yet there is still violence in the Middle East.
2008-06-11 13:09:27 / Rating: 376 /
Mlyn
As my father passed by the closet, I prayed she wouldn't sneeze.
2008-06-11 13:09:02 / Rating: 287 /
krista
When the cashier at Subway gave me my change of three pennies, she said, "That's your start to one million dollars."
2008-06-11 13:08:15 / Rating: 339.25 /
Annie Stew
The first time we used a condom, spermicide, I was on the pill and he pulled out.
2008-06-11 13:06:00 / Rating: 263.25 /
Observant
She restarted her long-defunct blog "to discuss her conversion to veganism" exactly two days before her birthday so she could get birthday props.
2008-06-11 13:05:20 / Rating: 143 /
masokat
I love my friends, because who else would help me pack up and move 3 bedrooms worth of furniture and stuff in 5 hours, while my abusive, now ex, boyfriend was at work, blissfully unaware of my escape.
2008-06-10 15:26:06 / Rating: 704.75 /
Aspergers Girl
Everything became clearer as I looked through old school projects and saw I listed the school librarian under the category of "best friend."
2008-06-10 10:40:37 / Rating: 381.75 /
What are the odds?
I knew God had a sense of humor when I hesitantly answered the ringing K-Mart payphone, only to hear my best friend, who had misdialed my home phone number, on the other end.
2008-06-10 10:39:09 / Rating: 3686.75 /
Player 2
Seventeen years later, I fell in love with the man who, when he was twenty and I was five, would let me come to his apartment to play Super Mario Brothers while my parents grocery-shopped.
2008-06-10 10:35:19 / Rating: 373 /
Carrying the Banner
It was so not part of my plan to come out to my entire city on the 11 o'clock news.
2008-06-10 10:33:19 / Rating: 477.5 /
schofield
Nothing in life can prepare you for the pain, anger, and overwhelming terror that comes from waking up in the morning, opening your newspaper, and finding on the front page a picture of the man you almost married being arrested for child pornography.
2008-06-10 10:32:15 / Rating: 262.75 /
Rusty
I went to college to dodge this war, and now I'm going to war to pay for college.
2008-06-10 10:30:23 / Rating: 471 /
Not Your Personal Assistant
I was only five and he was seven, but we were responsible.
2008-06-09 12:21:37 / Rating: 218.75 /
FormalWare
She was heavier dead than alive.
2008-06-09 12:20:29 / Rating: 284.25 /
FormalWare
She started the conversation with "I think you should date other women," and ended it with "Yes, I'll marry you."
2008-06-09 12:20:23 / Rating: 474 /
InvertedBass
As my feet flew out from under me, I realized why they were called slippers, and that they weren't a very good choice for walking to judo.
2008-06-09 12:19:46 / Rating: 209.25 /
-b
When the doctor told me I had strep throat, I knew it was time to confront my roommate about her illicit use of my toothbrush.
2008-06-09 12:16:57 / Rating: 237 /
C. Lee
As I sat in the stranger's van, clutching my knee, the only thing I managed to say was, "I am SO sorry for bleeding on you seat, ma'am."
2008-06-09 12:14:44 / Rating: 309 /
summer
The deodorant I put on today instantly reminded me of last summer.
2008-06-09 12:13:50 / Rating: 214.75 /
Just another day
You know your life is crazy when you're cleaning vomit out of piercing holes in a stranger's bathroom.
2008-06-09 12:11:42 / Rating: 204.75 /
Techie
My friend had tears of joy in his eyes when he found out his locker number was 1337.
2008-06-09 12:09:06 / Rating: 764.75 /
Jess
His efforts were so valiant, I didn't have the heart to tell him it was front clasp.
2008-06-06 17:12:36 / Rating: 1852.5 /
Tally
When I got back the textbook I loaned him, I flipped through every page hoping for a love note hidden in the margins.
2008-06-06 17:12:27 / Rating: 503.75 /
Olivoi
It's a good thing the local news camera was only shooting from the chest up, because other than his tuxedo jacket, he was wearing fishnets, army boots, and not much else.
2008-06-06 17:11:35 / Rating: 277.25 /
abbi
I'm staying in the basement of a couple's house, and I swear they send their cats downstairs to spy on me.
2008-06-06 17:11:15 / Rating: 237.75 /
zenny
A week after his death I got an email from my mother in law informing me that my father had hung himself in the basement of the house I grew up in, and she ended the letter with "I didn't call because I don't know how you would react to such terrible news."
2008-06-06 17:10:02 / Rating: 264.75 /
Ian
It is strange that it was the sound of crackling that awoke me, not the flames rising from my lap.
2008-06-06 17:09:45 / Rating: 218.75 /
lines
Today you shaved your hair into a mohawk to make my mom laugh over losing hers to chemo and today I realized that you are my hero.
2008-06-06 17:06:53 / Rating: 2531.75 /
tourguide
Whenever my campus tour groups ask about the library facilities, I am tempted to explain to them how exactly I know that the private study rooms are soundproof.
2008-06-06 17:05:53 / Rating: 459.5 /
averna
This morning, I found a spot on my washcloth that smelled like really good pot.
2008-06-06 17:03:12 / Rating: 255 /
Elliott Alter Ego
I could hear him screaming, "WOO!" all the way from the hospital waiting room.
2008-06-05 16:29:59 / Rating: 257.75 /
Rachel
After three years of Alzheimer's ravaging his mind, he looked at me, his 18 year old granddaughter, and asked, "Are you mad at me mommy?"
2008-06-04 10:07:17 / Rating: 542.75 /
Noodles
Carving my name into your arm with an old metal compass was probably not the best way to win my affection.
2008-06-04 10:02:39 / Rating: 237.75 /
Nikkie
Two years after he died, and my heart still jumps when I see a guy who looks like John.
2008-06-04 09:56:58 / Rating: 297.5 /
SomeoneYouKnow
I accidentally bought by boyfriend a hooker in Thailand when all I meant to purchase for him was a massage.
2008-06-04 09:50:48 / Rating: 332.25 /
Anna
I saw a Crime Stoppers commercial today, and I know who did it.
2008-06-04 09:49:29 / Rating: 216.5 /
Anonymous
Thanks to me my best friend hasn't killed himself yet, but when I burn out and stop trying for him he'll kill two other people, then himself.
2008-06-04 09:48:09 / Rating: 242.25 /
Politically picky
When I read his e-mail I realized why I have no Republican friends.
2008-06-03 15:37:42 / Rating: 203.25 /
Aj
My doctor told me i was 2 lbs. overweight and suggested I join Weight Watchers.
2008-06-03 15:36:47 / Rating: 250.5 /
Anti-Pet
As I skidded on a trail of pee on the hardwood floor, I realized I couldn't be with the one I love because I hate his dog.
2008-06-03 15:35:44 / Rating: 209.75 /
Carley
I wish hugs cured cancer.
2008-06-03 15:35:35 / Rating: 577 /
McCreepy
Guilt overcame me when I shook your hand, because it felt exactly as I hoped it would after Facebook-stalking you for at least a year.
2008-06-03 11:03:31 / Rating: 252.25 /
C.
I sent the boy I'm falling for the link to this site with the hope that he might one day see this and realize everything without real words being exchanged.
2008-06-03 11:02:28 / Rating: 247 /
countedx58
I daresay that the big boss is having an easier time at Club Fed for securities crimes than the lesser boss is having at the pen for kiddie porn.
2008-06-03 11:01:16 / Rating: 220.5 /
Jess
When I finally got to the gym I realized I'd forgotten my ID, so I came home, ate a sandwich and took a nap instead.
2008-06-02 13:53:32 / Rating: 435 /
Behind The Line
It probably didn't help when I laughed at the officer for saying, "It's not so much that you were speeding as it is that you're doing it in stolen car."
2008-06-02 13:49:45 / Rating: 284.75 /
S
When my sister was too young to care about floaties, I saved her because my adulterous father was too busy with his adulterous wife to notice her drowning.
2008-06-02 13:37:10 / Rating: 227 /
Anagram
It was only appropriate that the one day that I, the most gullible student in the fourth grade at the time, did not believe a ridiculous story that someone told me was that day in September when the world changed forever.
2008-06-02 13:36:25 / Rating: 289.75 /
Clsfd Kidd
I lit the gasoline-soaked, freshly-cut branches with a lighter that was about five feet too short.
2008-06-02 13:33:55 / Rating: 249 /
Jasper
I had to find out from a myspace bulletin that the man I loved for 9 of the 18 years I had been alive, hung himself from a swing set in a local park.
2008-06-02 13:21:28 / Rating: 292.5 /
April
The only intimacy that I can share with my husband are stolen touches in the span of two hours once a week.
2008-06-02 13:21:07 / Rating: 237.5 /
Talleyrand
While I'm writing this, my girlfriend is breaking up with me through AIM.
2008-06-02 13:20:54 / Rating: 509.25 /
Sigh...
Yesterday he pooped cotton and today he threw up eye balls.
2008-06-02 13:18:54 / Rating: 314.75 /