Story archives - September 2008

1/6 of American women

I thought I could get over the experience until I started calling it "rape" in my head.

tags: rape [add]

2008-09-30 09:22:06 / Rating: 317.5 /

Roo

Our first kiss was because he did his homework.

tags: love school [add]

2008-09-29 13:52:17 / Rating: 268.25 /

Bread Doesn't Burn

I almost had to repeat the ninth grade for attempted arson, all because the three of us were bored at lunch and decided to try to light my sandwich on fire.

tags: fire stupid teenagers humor [add]

2008-09-29 13:51:54 / Rating: 438.5 /

Just Me

He came out to me five seconds before I came out to him and the last three years of silence suddenly seemed so wasteful.

tags: gay coming out truth irony [add]

2008-09-29 13:50:30 / Rating: 537.25 /

FrogGirl

Everyone knows me as Jessica, but he knows me as the girl who actually wept with him when his frog died.

tags: frog death [add]

2008-09-29 13:49:29 / Rating: 484.25 /

Mia

It's not every day you turn on talk radio to hear the boy you loved trashing the time you spent together.

tags: love break up pain betrayal lies jerks [add]

2008-09-29 13:47:59 / Rating: 283.5 /

mq

It was only after my mom drew her last breath that it occurred to me to ask her how I was going to get through this without her.

tags: death irony [add]

2008-09-29 13:47:05 / Rating: 383.75 /

"Now that hurt", I said.

My therapist was relatively quiet while I talked, until I mentioned that Paul Newman had died, which elicited from her a dramatic gasp.

tags: humor therapy psychologist Paul Newman [add]

2008-09-29 13:45:11 / Rating: 283.25 /

Heather Rose

As I woke up from my nap to find written on my feet "This is my momma and you can't have her," I realized that my child is very, very strange.

tags: childhood humor parenting daughter strange feet art [add]

2008-09-26 17:46:59 / Rating: 2168.75 /

The one

After stealing his email password, I figured I'd find he was cheating on me with several women in several cities, but instead found he was cheating on me with lots of men in lots of cities.

tags: cheaters heartbreakers scum [add]

2008-09-26 17:34:27 / Rating: 365.25 /

Lady Roots

She saw the horror in his eyes as the dentist realized he had just cemented both his thumbs to her lower bridgework.

tags: life dentist oops [add]

2008-09-26 17:34:05 / Rating: 305 /

shrunk

The truth is, the only birthday card I received was from my therapist.

tags: humor psychology psychologist birthday [add]

2008-09-26 17:33:33 / Rating: 235.5 /

kane

I'm the little girl who grew up to be a man.

tags: transgender childhood gender people [add]

2008-09-26 16:22:58 / Rating: 349 /

Just Ali

I had hoped that the first time my doctor handed me a sonogram picture it would be of my baby, not of a golf ball sized fibroid tumor on my uterus.

tags: pregnancy health infertility [add]

2008-09-26 15:44:21 / Rating: 240.75 /

Above All That

I squinted into the bathroom mirror, trying to remember when tweezing out chin hairs had become part of my daily routine.

tags: aging menopause [add]

2008-09-24 11:40:23 / Rating: 309 /

Michael

I don't remember being born, but now I know I regret it.

tags: depression suicidal drama [add]

2008-09-24 11:26:57 / Rating: 262.75 /

Becky

Is 1000 calories for a midnight snack too much?

tags: snack [add]

2008-09-24 11:22:01 / Rating: 203.75 /

MBM

For some reason I found it incredibly funny when my white grandmother held my black hand and whispered to me, "You know, I was really disappointed when your brother decided to marry a black woman."

tags: race family marriage [add]

2008-09-24 11:12:40 / Rating: 265 /

bored as mustard

I have three giant bruises and a bit of a bruised ego as proof that you can, in fact, forget how to ride a bicycle.

tags: humor bicycle bruise ego [add]

2008-09-24 11:12:32 / Rating: 454.25 /

eldest

He asked if I had Skype and I knew that I had to clean my room.

tags: cleanliness [add]

2008-09-24 11:08:03 / Rating: 202.25 /

Zenobia Geyser

I'm not quite sure whether I have rituals for daily tasks because I'm a pagan or because of OCD.

tags: spirituality mental disorders OCD pagan [add]

2008-09-21 20:04:11 / Rating: 195.25 /

Caryssa

I realized what a mistake it had been when my would-have-been prom date tried to rape me when I drove him home after his prom date ditched him.

tags: prom attempted rape mistake drive [add]

2008-09-21 20:01:38 / Rating: 182.5 /

laura

I can't tell what's worse: the death of the boy who pulled down his underwear in front of me in the first grade or feeling terrible every time I tell people about the first time I ever saw a penis.

tags: humor childhood sex death [add]

2008-09-21 14:24:23 / Rating: 292.75 /

Laura

I never realized that I had so many memories in this house until Hurricane Ike swept it away.

tags: Hurricane Ike loss [add]

2008-09-21 14:22:42 / Rating: 283.75 /

Kenshiro

I stopped believing in God the day that my neighbour claimed that Holy Mother Mary had appeared as a humidity spot on his bathroom wall and tried to charge me $2 to see it.

tags: atheism god mary humor [add]

2008-09-21 14:21:23 / Rating: 401 /

culture shock

It was when my freshman year roommate asked where my summer house was that I realized I'd never fit in at college.

tags: college learning rich [add]

2008-09-17 23:47:56 / Rating: 453.25 /

Mariel

I went to my first gaming convention when I was fifteen and felt not unlike the ugly duckling who found the swans that he belonged with, except possibly in reverse.

tags: gaming nerd revelation geek love [add]

2008-09-17 23:46:11 / Rating: 309.5 /

Not exactly your biggest fan.

I lost my virginity in a fraternity bunk bed, I lost my dignity on the fire escape the next morning, and I lost my sanity buying the pregnancy test the next month.

tags: virginity dignity sanity [add]

2008-09-17 23:44:13 / Rating: 698 /

We got away

Being in the 'haunted' condemned mental hospital was worth the concussion I received from the headfirst dive I made into the car after being spotted by the police.

tags: humor cops haunted oh shit teenagers [add]

2008-09-17 23:43:23 / Rating: 202.25 /

Matt

There is a gerbil buried in a backyard somewhere in a purple Pog case shaped like a coffin.

tags: pets childhood [add]

2008-09-15 11:48:33 / Rating: 260.5 /

Kirsty

"What on earth is that?" are not words that inspire confidence when you're undergoing a colonoscopy.

tags: medical humour health [add]

2008-09-15 11:45:53 / Rating: 337.5 /

still starving

After being anorexic for 13 years I went to the bookstore to look for a book on recovery, but when I saw the weight loss book someone had put in the section thinking they were funny, I skipped dinner instead.

tags: anorexia [add]

2008-09-12 14:31:34 / Rating: 571 /

bmo

My dad slammed the balsa-wood battleship he spent 1000 hours building against the wall when he had found we kids ruined it by floating it in the rain water.

tags: father childhood [add]

2008-09-12 14:29:49 / Rating: 240 /

aunt d

When my 8-year-old niece came home from her friend's birthday party and assured me that she did not drink any beer, I knew something was very wrong with our culture.

tags: humor childhood alcohol family children [add]

2008-09-11 20:04:35 / Rating: 572.25 /

Lyv

It always brings a smile to my face when my dad tells large groups of strangers how he once cut himself on Jello.

tags: childhood humor parents jello crazy [add]

2008-09-11 20:02:30 / Rating: 505 /

kari

I never really believed my mom's stories of how abusive her childhood was until two days ago when my grandmother pulled me aside and quietly informed me that she wished she had never ever adopted that nasty little irish girl.

tags: abuse deceit grandmother adoption childhood trauma [add]

2008-09-11 20:01:57 / Rating: 443.75 /

Sugarstick's Muse

If I could fold the country like a Mad Magazine cover, I'd bring Baton Rouge to Denver.

tags: [add]

2008-09-11 20:00:58 / Rating: 259 /

margaret

The day he broke up with me, I cut myself for the first time in three years.

tags: drama self injury [add]

2008-09-11 19:57:55 / Rating: 143 /

Emily

"But I AM a girl," I told the librarian as she shooed me out of the restroom.

tags: mistaken identity oops [add]

2008-09-10 18:08:01 / Rating: 648.5 /

choose

The same night my brother died, a church burned down across the city and my sister-in-law disappeared without a word.

tags: death mourning brother sister-in-law [add]

2008-09-10 18:07:41 / Rating: 329 /

Valerie-Clair DuBois

I began my story with "I'm not pregnant" because I knew he would want to know the ending first.

tags: pregnancy test long day anxiety surprise not pregnant boyfriend [add]

2008-09-10 18:05:55 / Rating: 293.25 /

Taylor

I've never been as proud as I was when I sat down and honestly said, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I HAVE been flossing."

tags: dentist flossing humor pride [add]

2008-09-10 14:41:23 / Rating: 398.75 /

Thanks, Gustav!

201 electricity-free hours will make you reconsider ever buying frozen fish again.

tags: humor electricity hurricane fish gross [add]

2008-09-10 14:40:14 / Rating: 246.25 /

Alicia n Jeanne

Alicia said, "Feliz Navidad," to which Jeanne replied, "But you're Filipino, not Jewish."

tags: humor religion ethnicity language [add]

2008-09-09 16:09:36 / Rating: 333.75 /

JaK

It wasn't until she asked who Obama was running against that we realized we needed to find better volunteers at the Obama headquarters in Las Vegas, NM.

tags: Obama president HQ volunteers [add]

2008-09-09 16:08:29 / Rating: 278.75 /

Kizzie

The last thing my boyfriend said to me as I left for a week long stay in a dorm with eight girls was, "Take loads of pictures."

tags: girls boyfriend pictures [add]

2008-09-09 16:06:46 / Rating: 267.75 /

dubbs

When I look at pictures of my mother when she was my age I wonder if I'll ever have that much fun or if I already am.

tags: photos [add]

2008-09-09 16:05:49 / Rating: 236.75 /

Betty

My doctor told me that there is an extremely high chance I will be obese because of my anorexia and bulimia, but he can go to hell.

tags: eating disorder doctor obese [add]

2008-09-09 16:04:38 / Rating: 222.5 /

hippie

I lost my virginity to a homeless punk in the bathroom of a schizophrenic's apartment in NYC while my parents believed that I was having a slumber party.

tags: virginity homeless hippie bathroom [add]

2008-09-08 10:57:24 / Rating: 303.5 /

The Girl Who Admired You

When the pastor told us we'd be waiting 10 more minutes to start the funeral services because the line was still down the block, I knew that the world was missing someone who was starting to make a difference.

tags: death friend special missed [add]

2008-09-08 10:55:41 / Rating: 445 /

anon

Every time I have to ask what I did last night I feel like Sherlock Holmes.

tags: drinking blackout mystery humor [add]

2008-09-08 10:55:06 / Rating: 245.25 /

That Jerk

On "move-in day" my dad didn't even put the family car in park when we pulled up to the dorm.

tags: family? [add]

2008-09-08 10:54:38 / Rating: 169 /

Elizabeth

When I saw the 29-year-old breast cancer patient laughing at her 14-month-old son's antics, I realized I needed to stop whining about my life and start celebrating it again.

tags: cancer [add]

2008-09-04 13:53:23 / Rating: 389.25 /

ER

The wanting to kill myself first began when I was told there was a heaven and that my older brother was there.

tags: childhood religion [add]

2008-09-04 13:48:51 / Rating: 396 /

Kaitlin

It was when they were arrested for selling marijuana that I realized the only mail I get is from various jails throughout the state that the majority of my friends are currently residing in.

tags: drugs raid jail friendless [add]

2008-09-03 14:44:32 / Rating: 204 /

idaknow

The moment my little cousin stepped out into the aisle of the movie theater and painted the floor with lasagna, I knew all 20 of us were gonna taste lunch twice.

tags: thanksgiving 8 hour car ride stomach flu puke cousin [add]

2008-09-03 14:42:43 / Rating: 196.5 /

T.

Today I proved that a watched kettle does, in fact, boil.

tags: kettle boil scientific [add]

2008-09-03 14:40:48 / Rating: 335.5 /

Chase

I decided to quit smoking pot for a while following a close brush with death involving a Reeses' Chocolate Bar.

tags: allergic nuts pot drugs [add]

2008-09-03 13:56:55 / Rating: 290 /

Marley

Fortunately, my landlord didn't ask how my job is going this month.

tags: sad whew [add]

2008-09-03 13:56:09 / Rating: 161.75 /

gofish

By putting the card table on the property line I had outwitted my parents punishment of "stay in the yard with no friends over."

tags: humor [add]

2008-09-03 13:54:18 / Rating: 456 /

Basilisk

It was at that moment that I realized just how similar are the tastes of fresh fish and week old, unrefrigerated turkey.

tags: humor disgusting food [add]

2008-09-03 13:53:46 / Rating: 197.25 /

AM Jordan

To the roar of applause, I turned, holding my violin proudly to the shouts of ENCORE, and promptly fell off the stage in a heap.

tags: funny solo violin concert [add]

2008-09-02 15:06:52 / Rating: 237.5 /

Em

I gave you everything and you left me with nothing but an instructional pilates DVD and the worst case of mono my doctor had ever seen.

tags: mono boyfriend kiss [add]

2008-09-02 13:25:30 / Rating: 226.5 /

ReelDazed

Opening my eyes after nodding off for a second, I saw my dad exhale his last breath.

tags: death [add]

2008-09-02 13:22:58 / Rating: 267 /

Breathe

One of my most cherished human reactions ever was the look on the cashier's face as I informed her, "Ma'am, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat."

tags: sense of humor mortification [add]

2008-09-02 10:39:20 / Rating: 304.25 /

A

I realized how sad my life is when I found myself reading a graduate mathematics reference text for pleasure on a Friday night.

tags: math alone sad [add]

2008-09-02 09:38:20 / Rating: 263.75 /

Elize

Home is where the luggage isn't.

tags: travel luggage [add]

2008-09-02 09:37:55 / Rating: 233 /