thelorax
She mis-dialed my number and ended up talking to a very excited 5 year old with the same name.
2009-12-30 09:07:56 / Rating: 218.5 / 
Story archives - December 2009
northstarfish
When my 85 year old tenant told me that she had just been to her own mother's funeral, I realised that this was going to be a long lease.
2009-12-30 09:07:39 / Rating: 201 /
mageofbabalon
When I asked him how his day had been my father shrugged and said "It was okay," in a non-committal way, because we were still ten minutes from home, and only then would he feel able to tell me my brother had been killed.
2009-12-30 09:06:58 / Rating: 243 /
Steampunk Wench
It's nice to know that no matter where I go and how long I'm gone for, my mother will always arrange my dolls in random sexual positions as a 'welcome home' surprise.
2009-12-30 09:06:29 / Rating: 444 /
Cyrus
I thought he loved work more than me, but after he died I found out that my name was his work computer password.
2009-12-30 09:06:10 / Rating: 375 /
loveblossoms
While still 24, when I broke the news of the year to my father that I had fallen in love with this 48 year old beautiful woman, dismissively he responded, "Isn't one mom sufficient?"
2009-12-30 08:56:13 / Rating: 174 /
Vi
Even while we were making out that first night, the planner in me couldn't help but worry about the future of our relationship.
2009-12-30 08:54:34 / Rating: 101 /
giraffe girl
I slipped into my three-inch purple heels and wobbled around for a minute, getting used to being the tallest person in the room.
2009-12-28 15:27:36 / Rating: 86 /
S. Wofford
She confessed afterwards that she had never seen a real life spit-take until she had dinner with my family.
2009-12-28 15:26:00 / Rating: 84 /
IT Guy
Sick of having Outlook tell me my Dell Optiplex was a potpie, I added it to the dictionary.
2009-12-28 15:25:12 / Rating: 124.5 /
Mikhala
Our height disparity was such that she had to stand on her tiptoes to place the blue marks showing where to pierce my nipple.
2009-12-24 00:16:26 / Rating: 109.75 /
Jack
Sinking into the dull green striped chair shoved near the back corner radio, I sat listening to the brilliant teacher, preaching to the class beliefs of love and peace.
2009-12-24 00:14:41 / Rating: 64.25 /
Leela
I spent the night of my cousin's wedding on an air mattress in my auntie's living room, taking turns with my little brother puking in a pot.
2009-12-24 00:14:32 / Rating: 88.5 /
Alicia
He laid down his leather jacket and they sat by the water talking and staring up at the stars, pretending to find constellations that neither of them really knew the names of.
2009-12-22 14:00:15 / Rating: 200.75 /
Dmac9000
I wasn't exactly sure how to take the news that my son was in a championship beer pong tournament.
2009-12-22 13:57:35 / Rating: 246.25 /
Zippo
My husband, my dog, and my mom all died in the same month due to separate, unrelated house fires.
2009-12-22 08:49:11 / Rating: 175.75 /
Miss not Mrs
As he gently caressed me his video game shouted out, "HOSTILE CONTACT!"
2009-12-15 22:37:06 / Rating: 403 /
Lauren NM.
While studying for the SATs my friend became so frustrated she pulled a knife and stabbed our study book.
2009-12-15 22:35:06 / Rating: 249.5 /
I couldn't help but smile as my third grader threw the ball through the hoop and yelled, ''Touchdown!''
2009-12-15 22:34:47 / Rating: 182.5 /
harriedkarie
Standing on the steps of the church where they'd just gotten married, my grandparents first heard that Pearl Harbor had been bombed and realized that they would soon be separated.
2009-12-11 11:29:26 / Rating: 249.75 /
Erin
"Oh," I said as she handed me a pack of Marlboro Cigarettes, "I actually smoke 100s now."
2009-12-11 11:28:38 / Rating: 85 /
Phil
Not many people would have required stitches after washing the dishes, but then again I've always thought of myself as special.
2009-12-10 15:42:27 / Rating: 280 /
"That's what you get when you have 3 brothers and 9 sister-in-laws," said my uncle.
2009-12-10 14:04:19 / Rating: 112.5 /
Mourner
I asked my cousin on Facebook how her brother-in-law was doing after his heart surgery, only to find out he died this morning after his heart stopped three times.
2009-12-10 14:03:56 / Rating: 81.75 /
Katie
I denied my pastor's friend request on Facebook because I don't want to hear about God every time I make a status about how depressed I've become.
2009-12-10 14:01:12 / Rating: 283 /
Will
Only after stepping on a lego in the middle of the night and ignoring the pain in order not to wake up the little princess I was carrying to bed did I realize that I was really a dad and not just a father.
2009-12-07 16:51:40 / Rating: 814.75 /
Den
After thirty-seven years of marriage, he still says, "Good night, Sweet Girl."
2009-12-07 16:51:28 / Rating: 651 /
City Girl
A man was abusing his dog so I stole the dog, got arrested and fought a legal battle, and now every night when the dog jumps in bed with me I know it was worth it.
2009-12-07 16:50:52 / Rating: 1068.25 /
not naive, just better informed
Using Ken and Skipper as props, my cousin taught me that sex was when two people touched tongues and 15 years later I'm still correcting the misconceptions that it is impossible love without taking any clothes off.
2009-12-07 16:48:25 / Rating: 90 /
Madeline
I'd broken it, and after hastily putting it back together I waited until the cat brushed by so I could watch it fall again.
2009-12-07 16:47:01 / Rating: 99.5 /
Miss Delaney
In the middle of my fifth winter, I slipped and fell and cracked my head open on a set of cement stairs because I thought the paint on the railings was wet.
2009-12-04 08:58:15 / Rating: 91 /
Deli Worker
In the middle of preparing eighteen hot dogs with mustard, sauce and cheese I learned that our family would be lucky to spend Christmas in a hospital and more likely to spend it at a funeral.
2009-12-04 08:57:27 / Rating: 78.25 /
He's almost here...
The night I found out that she was pregnant, I met my wife in the park to tell her I was moving to Portland without her.
2009-12-04 08:56:28 / Rating: 9.75 /
Marvel
Every morning I get crushed, elbowed, and shoved trying to get on the bus by a hoard of frowning teenagers, but this morning it was freezing, and being shoulder to shoulder with somebody on both sides felt so good.
2009-12-04 08:55:51 / Rating: 219.75 /
truefriends
Good friends cover your naked ass when you throw your back out while in the shower, but best friends laugh hysterically and make grandma jokes first.
2009-12-04 08:53:07 / Rating: 252.75 /
MissK
As I spoon-fed my Grandfather what would be his last meal, I already knew it'd be a moment I would never forget, despite him being so drugged that he thought I was my mother.
2009-12-04 08:52:01 / Rating: 166.75 /