Slim
After surfing dozens of porn sites and downloading thousands of songs illegally, I finally got a virus on my laptop from a website containing quotes from the Bible.
2010-05-24 15:27:24 / Rating: 993.25 / 
Story archives - May 2010
I'm the guy from the blog
While waiting for a local gig to start, a stranger came up to me to say that he'd seen a photo of me on my blog that day.
2010-05-24 15:26:07 / Rating: 224.75 /
Sister Bear
He used to call me "Juice-Juice" because "Alyssa" was too hard to say and it was his favorite drink.
2010-05-24 15:25:06 / Rating: 309.75 /
VM
My brother cried and quoted a Barbara Streisand song the day he called to tell me he'd accepted my sexuality.
2010-05-24 15:24:23 / Rating: 399 /
Tia
While my dad told us not to throw any more rocks in the creek, I launched my last big one over my brother's head as he stood up.
2010-05-18 16:08:56 / Rating: 229.25 /
G
As I heard "maybe we should just be friends" for the 14th time in 4 years I began to think my current approach wasn't working.
2010-05-18 16:03:14 / Rating: 359.75 /
Miss Soviet Ukraine
When I was five, I licked my father's shaver and cut my tongue.
2010-05-18 16:02:26 / Rating: 272.75 /
miss milwaukee's nameless
After sighing and telling her how much I missed my Grandmother, my mom laughed and said, "She hated you."
2010-05-18 16:02:17 / Rating: 420 /
katla the dancer
Once the sweat dried, the blood clotted, and the bones healed, I got out onstage with my dance company and won best performance in the state of California.
2010-05-17 14:44:18 / Rating: 261 /
four years ago
No twelve-year-old should have to devote two hours in the middle of the night to trying to prevent a friend from committing suicide.
2010-05-17 14:43:34 / Rating: 527.5 /
alynn.
When my boyfriend's 7-year-old sister whispered into my ear that she "wanted an innocent boy, not someone who gets arrested" I knew she would turn out okay after all.
2010-05-17 14:43:02 / Rating: 332.75 /
welch's grapes
I couldn't stop thinking about how that picture board had been made for a graduation party, not a funeral.
2010-05-12 10:34:43 / Rating: 415 /
Shelby
One night in college, I blacked out drinking in my friend's dorm room and "came to" while taking a shower in the men's bathroom.
2010-05-12 10:34:16 / Rating: 199.75 /
backedup
I worked 8 hours today stocking a store, complete with lifting, bending, stretching, only to throw out my back while flushing the toilet at home.
2010-05-11 14:40:03 / Rating: 356 /
really, I'm happy with two
When I was pregnant I used to think feeling the baby move was gas, but now whenever I have gas I think I'm pregnant.
2010-05-07 16:01:05 / Rating: 382 /
Cinn
The day after the first fistful of my hair fell out, my son and his red pit bull showed up for breakfast, both of them with shaved bald heads.
2010-05-07 16:00:08 / Rating: 833.75 /
Lady
When I paused in between songs, I could hear my husband applauding on the other side of the shower door.
2010-05-07 15:59:28 / Rating: 592.5 /
nek
My aunt taught me to drive in the cemetery because "I couldn't hurt anyone in there."
2010-05-07 15:55:45 / Rating: 691.75 /
BK
A 5'2" mother becomes a very imposing figure when angered while holding a vegetable knife.
2010-05-07 15:53:04 / Rating: 293 /
fisher
Until that day, I never quite understood the feelings of the author of the onesentence that read, "The spare was flat, too."
2010-05-07 15:51:10 / Rating: 340.75 /
Geoffrey Cubbage
On average, I deliberately set a person's hair on fire every twelve years or so.
2010-05-06 15:10:32 / Rating: 321 /
Overheard
Over the sound of my neighbor vomiting, I heard his friend tell him, "Hey, to help you throw up more, picture venereal diseases!"
2010-05-06 15:09:31 / Rating: 245.75 /
Modernity
When he described his courtship process as "I'll text her for four or five weeks, then I'll hook up with her, then I'll hook up with her the next week, and then I'll ask her out," I knew we probably weren't going to be friends.
2010-05-06 15:08:00 / Rating: 239.5 /
Accidental fugitive
Upon seeing the university police stroll into my apartment looking for me for the third time in as many months, I decided that I was in fact ready to graduate.
2010-05-06 15:03:20 / Rating: 243.25 /
365 Brand New Days
One Halloween when I was little, before I knew any dirty words, my family dressed my puppy up in a skeleton costume so I called him a "boner."
2010-05-05 14:31:01 / Rating: 381.25 /
Newbie
I left his apartment smelling like every CD he ever lent me.
2010-05-05 14:30:14 / Rating: 222 /
shmelicious
Meeting him in calculus taught me to love math.
2010-05-05 14:28:48 / Rating: 307.5 /
No Getting Over
In almost three years of not seeing her, I've swallowed oceans of booze, smoked cartons of cigarettes, slept with a dozen different women, been arrested twice, found God, fired God, and nearly died at the hands of five angry men; and I still can't get over her.
2010-05-03 16:29:12 / Rating: 927.75 /
Angela Alvarez
Faced with answering the phone or going to lunch I chose the phone with no way of knowing that the wrong number on the other end would someday be my husband.
2010-05-03 13:46:58 / Rating: 903.5 /