Alex
After our older son declared his desire to be a veterinarian, the seven-year-old said, "I want to be a Chinese man."
2009-06-10 10:59:45 / Rating: 294 / 
Story archives - Most Popular from the Last 30 Days
See also: the most popular of all time.
Caribou
He deflated my heart so I deflated his tires.
2009-06-16 09:23:00 / Rating: 261.25 /
i've had better judgment
Imagine my relief in my decision to sit on the grass when the rock beside me got up and walked away, presumably to go play with the other bobcats.
2009-06-05 10:35:45 / Rating: 256.5 /
Batman
My heart broke as I pulled the black cape around my neck and saw the tag that was labeled, "Does not enable you to fly."
2009-06-23 15:42:36 / Rating: 254 /
KC
A couple of times down the hot metal slide and no one would know that I had wet my pants.
2009-06-19 16:30:10 / Rating: 216 /
Nette
We almost broke up over whether or not to freeze bread.
2009-06-10 11:06:16 / Rating: 200.75 /
One little mistake
Having mistaken the Ben Gay for the KY is a error my wife has never let me forget.
2009-06-10 11:06:06 / Rating: 199.5 /
The one who is
I never realized organism and orgasm are such close words, until the day i made my science presentation.
2009-06-10 11:00:03 / Rating: 189.25 /
I'm impressed but also sleep deprived.
My hamster has cleverly figured out how to detatch his water bottle and throw it across the room loudly when he's thirsty.
2009-06-19 16:23:55 / Rating: 184.25 /
embarrassed
We thought we were being so sneaky with our teenage sex rendevous, until we walked up the stairs to his room and heard his dad say, "Better make it a quickie guys."
2009-06-19 16:30:01 / Rating: 182 /
Thornton Wilder Award Winner
My dad stopped complaining about my bad grades when I won $100 for a short story I wrote out of boredom during math class.
2009-06-19 16:30:56 / Rating: 181.75 /
Del
I went to the freezer for some tortilla wraps and found a dead owl in there instead.
2009-06-08 11:38:07 / Rating: 173.5 /
Alanna
The other mothers on the playground don't like me, even though they have no idea I'm the girl who gives their husbands $20 lap dances.
2009-06-14 17:23:30 / Rating: 173.25 /
Ann
Quitting a job that you love is much harder when your boss starts crying in the middle of the conversation.
2009-06-26 13:51:22 / Rating: 154.25 /
JJ
I was the maddest I had ever been when he forgot to wake me up for my doctor's appointment, until I found him sitting dead in his chair.
2009-06-19 16:23:27 / Rating: 139.25 /
Molly
The first thing I noticed after my dog died was how much food was accumulating on the kitchen floor.
2009-06-23 15:40:44 / Rating: 137.75 /
Still Romantic
While my husband (then boyfriend) proposed, I could see a man standing on a picnic table and peeing into the bushes in my peripheral vision - but it was the best night of my life all the same.
2009-06-23 09:49:48 / Rating: 137 /
Joe
My grandmother once challenged me to a drinking contest, then proceeded to concoct an elaborate plan to cheat and win that involved her identical twin sister... and people wonder where I get it.
2009-06-29 15:44:57 / Rating: 136.75 /
Ellyn
My husband informed me that he isn't a kid anymore because he eats his snack packs with a spoon.
2009-06-19 16:28:05 / Rating: 131.25 /
Uncle Jesse
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
2009-06-05 10:38:07 / Rating: 130.5 /
Jen
The first person to congratulate us on our engagement was a homeless guy who then proceeded to ask us for a dollar.
2009-06-24 12:40:40 / Rating: 129.5 /
LUYD
Your band's first official gig is not the best time to learn that your drummer is epileptic.
2009-06-26 13:41:16 / Rating: 128.25 /
yep
The first time I met my father was when he made a delivery to my house as a UPS worker.
2009-06-26 13:43:24 / Rating: 115.25 /
Marie McCurdy
Last night I met a Recon Marine who moonlights as a clown at children's parties.
2009-06-19 08:55:36 / Rating: 111 /
Secret Shame
When she burst out laughing at the sight of me naked, I had the feeling that it wasn't gonna happen.
2009-06-29 15:47:51 / Rating: 109.75 /