saunya
I held my father's hand as he died in that hospital room and realized I'd never held his hand before that moment.
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I held my father's hand as he died in that hospital room and realized I'd never held his hand before that moment.
Knowing that my miscarriage brought him relief is something I'm not sure I'll ever forget.
Visiting Virginia, I thought the grocery clerk was calling my newborn son precious when in fact she was telling me in her southern drawl to "press yes" on the keypad.
Only a few blocks from home my 3-year-old brother opened the rear door of our family's Dodge Polara, and quick as a wink he was gone.
As you were breaking up with me, all I could think about were those mornings when you compared the Pop-Tarts and gave me the one with more frosting.
Arriving home after sitting in traffic for two hours, I said to myself, "Oh, wait, I don't live here anymore."
The worst thing about secret girlfriends is that when they get hit by cars you're not supposed to cry.
One night on ecstasy, I stopped a fight between two drag queens in the ladies restroom and then I made them give each other a hug.
When asked to name the one person absent from her life that she missed the most, she responded, "The person I hoped I'd be by this point in my life."
It was one of those exams that you absolutely must pass if you want to continue in the program, and I failed the set-your-alarm-clock-properly portion.
I conduct job interviews for a living and nothing gives me a better sense of wielding karma than giving the job to the nervous kid instead of the better qualified arrogant prick.
I couldn't bear to tell the girl I loved that I was only dreaming and that she was merely a figment of my imagination, so I kissed her, and as the world lost its color, I slowly woke up.
My friend Bob loved his vinyl records so much that he used to obsess about which ones to save if his house caught fire but when it actually happened he chose his girlfriend instead.
I once truly fell in love with an unseen friend-- who refused to meet me in real life, who became the object of my every desire, my muse, the reason I walked this planet-- with every cell of my heart.
I married my husband on our first date, but it has taken me more than 5 years to decide what colour to paint our dining room.
There are two kinds of friends in the world: the ones who help you up when you've passed out in a bar and call a cab and the ones that take 'funny' pictures of you.
Instead of him they sent back a folded flag, and when I was alone I tore it to pieces.
My mother called me to do a chore and i responded, "What you need, Woman," to which my father chided, "Your mother is NOT a woman!"
I know 18 digits of pi and can recite the quadratic equation, but I still need to make an L with my hand to find out where left is.
My online dating service matched me with my cousin.
When I arrived at the memorial site, I couldn't think of anything witty or poignent to write, so I just carved 'I miss you' into the telephone pole that killed you and went home.
President Bush killed my father, a soldier whose burned remains are now a part of the Iraqi desert landscape, and I, longing to fit in by supporting something I did not understand, was stupid enough to vote for him the previous year.
A stunning woman in a sexy little sundress got on the subway, and for just a moment I forgot to breathe.
Recently I realized that I waste my life on the internet ... and published this insight in a blog.
Seeing a 40 year old crack whore wearing a shirt saying "You can't afford me" and knowing she's probably right made me realize I'd hit rock bottom.
I told my husband I wanted a new, simple wedding band because the 1.3c diamond I wear is not a symbol of our love but of my greed.
Hitting the turkey buzzard on the way to our wedding was the first indication we would never last.
The pedestrian looked concerned, as he bounced off the bonnet of my car.
It wasn't until the eulogy ended that I realized I had been thinking about porn instead of listening.
When I opened the door there was a policeman holding my mother's driver's license and throwing uncomfortable glances to the chaplin beside him.
He longed for me for four years in high school and then forgot; I avoided him for four years in high school and then obsessed for ten about what could have been.
"For you? Really?" the man in the pharmacy said, surprised, when I asked him to pass me a pregnancy test.
"I was waiting for you," she said, and for an instant I wasn't alone.
I took a neuropsychiatric test and realized that I don't have a mental illness after all: I have five.
I was nearly sent to the hospital because I could not convince the school nurse that my head had always been this shape.
It's been so long that I don't even look down your street anymore.
It wasn't the sex that proved she loved me, it was the first time she slept with me without having sex that I knew she would be the one.
Every one of my many heartbreaks could have been avoided had you not waited until I was 32 to tell me you loved me.
I can run about as fast as my dog when I'm barefoot and his leash is attached to a fifteen-pound plastic chair.
As the porter wheeling my gurney down to the operating room took a corner too tightly, crashing my arm into the wall, I reflected that my last utterance on this earth might well be a profanity.
I worry he's just waiting for the last Harry Potter book to come out before he kills himself.
She breezed into my technology class, late and toting a beige shoulder bag, and I knew that some time later she was going to be the most wonderful thing in my life.
The mysterious animal hissing under the towel turned out to be a can of Right Guard.
I want to hold her to stop her tears, but I know my girlfriend would not appreciate that.
I waited two years for a chance with her, but in the end it was she who took the chance with me.
life was so much simpler when i could go peeling through the neighborhood on my bmx bike, topless, with all the boys and not feel an ounce of embarassment, then puberty came and messed everything up.