In almost three years of not seeing her, I've swallowed oceans of booze, smoked cartons of cigarettes, slept with a dozen different women, been arrested twice, found God, fired God, and nearly died at the hands of five angry men; and I still can't get over her.
2010-05-03 16:29:12 / Rating: 1068.75 / 
I denied my pastor's friend request on Facebook because I don't want to hear about God every time I make a status about how depressed I've become.
2009-12-10 14:01:12 / Rating: 433.25 /
Despite the fact that he asks every night, God has not yet answered my five-year-old's prayer asking where mosquitos come from.
2009-02-04 14:41:03 / Rating: 423 /
I knew God had a sense of humor when I hesitantly answered the ringing K-Mart payphone, only to hear my best friend, who had misdialed my home phone number, on the other end.
2008-06-10 10:39:09 / Rating: 6189.25 /
Is it weird that I say a truly genuine, pleading prayer everytime I get into a dressing room with an item of clothing, that God lets it not only fit, but look okay, too?
2007-07-09 10:09:57 / Rating: 465.25 /
Sometimes God says no to your prayers, so she died.
2007-04-24 21:13:42 / Rating: 529.75 /
He salvaged what was left of me and yet it seems that this fact is of little interest to the world.
2006-12-05 14:32:11 / Rating: 461 /
