Story archives - tag: "children"


The first time he called me "Mom", he was snuggling with me on the couch and then followed it up with "This is the best day."

tags: children adoption [add]

2013-09-04 16:29:29 / Rating: 333.75 /


As my wife told our daughter we couldn't get a puppy because they pee all over the place, my son peed on the carpet.

tags: children humor puppies pee [add]

2013-07-31 15:44:31 / Rating: 305.25 /


A chill ran up my spine when the 9 year old standing near the buffet table said to me, "I'm not going to eat a single thing because that's what keeps me so slim and pretty."

tags: children anorexia eating disorders self-esteem body image [add]

2012-02-21 13:27:06 / Rating: 462.75 /

last connection

Sheltered from the hot sun, the woman cradled the little dog in her arms while her child crawled away from her, only connected by the child harness.

tags: humor dogs children summer [add]

2011-06-30 16:16:56 / Rating: 627 /

Its started

It only took one week of kindergarten for my 3-year-old to come home and tell me that he is going to stab me and kill me.

tags: children violence kindergarten [add]

2011-05-11 15:47:22 / Rating: 544 /


It really was a logical question when my 4 year old son asked, "If there is a Godzilla, is there a Jesuszilla?"

tags: humor children weird logic [add]

2011-01-24 12:19:42 / Rating: 944.25 /


My mom joked, "Tell the interviewer, 'I love children, especially with noodles!'"

tags: humor mom mother children job interview [add]

2010-09-16 14:26:04 / Rating: 539.75 /

a dad

Catching my sons vomit in my hand when he threw up last night made me realise just how far I would go for my children.

tags: late night enlightment to protect and help vomit children parenting [add]

2010-03-29 14:07:13 / Rating: 725.5 /

Deedee Knickerbocker

Nothing is more awkwardly fulfilling than having a child prefer you over their own mother.

tags: humor children honesty boss no raise karma [add]

2009-10-12 12:00:08 / Rating: 668.25 /

Reluctant dad

True parenting is going out into the rain to search through the paper recycling bin by torchlight for your son's missing collectible trading cards, and then resisting the urge to strangle him when he finds they were in his coat pocket all the time.

tags: humor parent trading cards children [add]

2009-08-10 10:15:33 / Rating: 765 /


My little cousin asked, "If Jesus was human, does that mean he farted?"

tags: Jesus children questions religion [add]

2009-07-20 10:43:40 / Rating: 831.25 /


Yesterday, at my ripe old age of 43, my young son had to explain to me that the band was spelled and named "The Beatles" due to a music beat and not "The Beetles" after a bug.

tags: music children middle age [add]

2009-07-17 10:58:46 / Rating: 432 /


My heart broke as I pulled the black cape around my neck and saw the tag that was labeled, "Does not enable you to fly."

tags: Batman cape fly superpowers children [add]

2009-06-23 15:42:36 / Rating: 829.5 /

who knew

My three-year-old just informed me that there are three really bad words out there: butt, booty, and brain.

tags: bad words children [add]

2009-04-03 13:35:37 / Rating: 574.5 /


I think what bothers me the most is that my mother pretends not to understand why I will never leave my children alone at their house.

tags: children father abuse annoyed denial mother childhood [add]

2009-02-12 12:32:54 / Rating: 981 /


Despite the fact that he asks every night, God has not yet answered my five-year-old's prayer asking where mosquitos come from.

tags: children mosquitos God prayer [add]

2009-02-04 14:41:03 / Rating: 525.5 /


Moments after my three year old son stated, "I help Daddy," I came to realize that our Christmas tree was on fire.

tags: children christmas fire child humor [add]

2008-12-17 21:52:09 / Rating: 900 /


Seeing the unborn child sparkling in my husband's eyes I shrugged away and curled up in my bathrobe to finish the novel I didn't want to read.

tags: children marriage unprepared [add]

2008-12-04 13:16:40 / Rating: 424 /

Reno Reading

My 8-year-old sister proudly declared that she knows that "WTF" means "Wow, That's Funny" and has been using it all over the internet.

tags: sister mistake humor children WTF [add]

2008-10-23 13:39:41 / Rating: 4813.5 /

aunt d

When my 8-year-old niece came home from her friend's birthday party and assured me that she did not drink any beer, I knew something was very wrong with our culture.

tags: humor childhood alcohol family children [add]

2008-09-11 20:04:35 / Rating: 1043.75 /


I told my eight-year-old daughter she could choose lemonade, lemonade or lemonade and she asked "What was the second one again?"

tags: children humor lemonade [add]

2008-08-22 13:56:40 / Rating: 1206.75 /


35 feet looks a lot less painful than it feels.

tags: stupid kid jumping children ouch [add]

2008-06-17 13:20:59 / Rating: 611 /


She always sends her kindergarden child to a seven and a half hour school day with only 5 chocolate chip cookies as his whole lunch.

tags: lunch children school [add]

2008-04-10 15:45:17 / Rating: 581.25 /


Mom and Dad were separated prematurely as teenagers by her father, and it took a lifetime, several marriages and children for them to find each other again and be happy.

tags: marriage separation love happiness children [add]

2008-01-18 10:51:49 / Rating: 745.75 /


Sadly, my 6 year old son has a love life that outruns mine by light years.

tags: love children [add]

2008-01-14 17:26:58 / Rating: 658.75 /


I didn't realize just how short I was until, during student teaching, I found myself asking my 4th graders to reach things for me.

tags: humor embarrassed student teaching teaching children short [add]

2007-08-06 17:05:31 / Rating: 697.5 /


After meticulously explaining the birds and the bees my little boy looked at his sister and asked me, "You had sex twice?"

tags: children funny [add]

2007-08-01 12:38:13 / Rating: 754 /


Asked by my small daughter, "How long does a clock take?", I had to wonder.

tags: humor philosophy children [add]

2007-07-23 13:28:20 / Rating: 690.25 /

The Mom

After his soggy diaper leaked onto his bed, my two year old asked, "Who turned the water on?"

tags: son children bed wetting [add]

2007-07-10 14:20:19 / Rating: 496.25 /


The 3-year-old yells out the window to a vagrant with compassion, "Watch out man, the ants bite real bad!"

tags: kids children humor [add]

2007-07-06 09:52:07 / Rating: 676.5 /


She looked up from her toy and said, "Daddy, why do you get so angry?"

tags: anger sadness children [add]

2007-06-21 10:33:04 / Rating: 706.5 /


One of the things that brought us together was our mutual dislike of marriage and children, yet the more I got to know him the more I thought I might not be totally opposed to them if they happened with him.

tags: children marriage common interests bugger [add]

2007-06-08 18:00:54 / Rating: 721.75 /

Sociologist Tina

As I stared at the stunningly precious likeness before me, I blithely told him that if I were in his shoes, I'd be telling everyone that my baby looked just like me!

tags: baby children parents appearance [add]

2006-12-27 11:55:14 / Rating: 594.75 /

Can you pay karmatic debt in advance?

After severly hurting my foot, losing my job, being evicted from our home without cause, nursing my 3 year old through strep, picking my fiance and his totaled car up at the hospital, and going into debt, I wondered, "what else can happen in one month?"

tags: bad luck injury fired children hospital car accident [add]

2006-12-10 13:15:25 / Rating: 697.75 /


I always think I can get more done in a day than I really do thanks to my 2 wild cards - ages 2 and 5.

tags: motherhood children despair frustration joy [add]

2006-12-05 12:27:57 / Rating: 661.5 /


The children anticipated the rising of the sun, as if they were nocturnal creatures of the wood, and reluctantly scurried back to their houses to welcome another day.

tags: children [add]

2006-11-09 09:59:23 / Rating: 455.25 /


I can't wait until "Cars" comes out on DVD because I am so sick of watching "Over the Hedge" non-stop.

tags: children movies parenting [add]

2006-10-31 14:08:07 / Rating: 665.5 /


His big round eyes welled up with tears and the look of disappointment and sadness that comes from an innocent child betrayed made me wish that the slap was a million times on my face.

tags: mistake children love [add]

2006-09-11 10:18:56 / Rating: 699 /


I thought it would be wonderful; twenty years later my life is shattered.

tags: marriage children time expectations [add]

2006-08-18 09:44:55 / Rating: 663.5 /


The idea of letting your children choose their own path in life is thrown out the window when your three-year-old declares they are going to be either a doctor or a Walmart cashier when they grow up.

tags: children humor careers [add]

2006-08-17 21:22:34 / Rating: 749.5 /