Story archives - tag: "drunk"


Every time my housemate comes home drunk, I have to convince him that throwing up in the washing machine is a terrible idea.

tags: share house university drunk [add]

2011-03-04 09:53:16 / Rating: 486 /


After six shots, three beers, and some very sloppy flirting, apparently I had my first kiss.

tags: drunk first kiss [add]

2010-03-30 14:55:49 / Rating: 400.75 /


If you you drink too much and ask your sorority sister to kiss you, they will never let you forget it, even if you can't remember it.

tags: drunk college humor [add]

2010-03-19 09:52:20 / Rating: 490.25 /


I wasn't even drunk when I pushed the liquor store's shopping cart into the night manager's car.

tags: drunk humor car accidents [add]

2009-10-06 20:32:06 / Rating: 373.5 /


After a night of heavy drinking we woke up to find "prunes are gross, Jesus" written on her grandma's bag of prunes, with no explanation as to why.

tags: drunk grandma prunes Jesus [add]

2009-08-12 10:28:37 / Rating: 428 /

Ruby Soho

Apparently, getting absolutely smashed, calling him between pukes in the public bathroom, falling asleep on the street and waking up in his bed filled with mud was romantic only on my side.

tags: ex-boyfriend drunk alcohol fake hope [add]

2009-06-14 17:29:06 / Rating: 413.25 /


There isn't much greater evidence that you've had a fun night than waking up under a pool table with a picture of a horse and a stapler.

tags: drunk fun sleep [add]

2009-03-11 14:57:51 / Rating: 542 /


Three days later, I couldn't see his eyes, only his sunglasses and smile, two things that he wasn't wearing when he tried to rape me.

tags: rape eyes sunglasses shame drunk petrified am i to blame? [add]

2009-01-12 15:25:06 / Rating: 539 /


He asked, "Is that your purse on fire?"

tags: drunk fire humor [add]

2008-12-16 09:10:31 / Rating: 607.5 /


No one ever told me that college life would include having a stranger pee on my dorm room floor.

tags: college urinate drunk [add]

2008-11-21 15:52:37 / Rating: 565.25 /


All I could think of as my friend sat naked next to me encouraging me to throw up was what a great One Sentence it would make.

tags: drunk friendship humor meta [add]

2008-08-04 09:49:49 / Rating: 714 /

Frog Kisser

Sober, I asked him if most people were drunk when they got their tattoos and, needle poised above my flesh, he explained, "The smart ones are."

tags: tattoo needle drunk sober [add]

2008-07-14 09:13:45 / Rating: 544.5 /

C'est vrai

We felt bad laughing about the legally blind Bosnian passed out drunk in a pool of his own vomit on the tile near the toilet, but it sure did make one hell of a story.

tags: college drunk roommates [add]

2008-04-28 12:17:51 / Rating: 586.5 /

Cinnamon Stillwater

I don't know if it was the alcohol, the darkness or the rush to put my clothing back on that made me fall onto the cactus.

tags: ouch skinny dipping humor drunk drinking night [add]

2008-04-10 14:56:44 / Rating: 872.5 /


It wasn't until I was cleaning puke off him that I realized my hero was gone forever, along with his bottle of Jager.

tags: drunk hero gone [add]

2008-03-19 09:52:59 / Rating: 456.5 /


I am going to look at this in a week when its posted and not realize I wrote it.

tags: wasted drunk memory [add]

2008-02-25 21:27:40 / Rating: 563.25 /


Thirty seconds before vomiting, the room spinning, vision cloudy, I recited the alphabet backwards and thought, "Well, I'm not drunk yet."

tags: drunk drinking alcohol [add]

2008-02-20 16:25:47 / Rating: 661.5 /


The night I became an uncle I learned to ride a unicycle.

tags: celebration uncle nephew finally falling unicycle drunk long hallway happy bruise [add]

2008-02-05 10:41:59 / Rating: 638.5 /


An intoxicated man pointed to a car's license plate and said to me "This chinaman is from Iwo Jima" and when I looked at the license plate it said "IOWA."

tags: humor college drunk [add]

2007-11-24 18:32:42 / Rating: 685 /


There are two kinds of friends in the world: the ones who help you up when you've passed out in a bar and call a cab and the ones that take 'funny' pictures of you.

tags: friends humor drunk bar [add]

2007-11-05 13:20:56 / Rating: 2291 /


She was too drunk to notice how drunk I was.

tags: mother teenager sad drunk family childhood [add]

2007-09-27 12:28:59 / Rating: 833.5 /

sad but true

I knew I was in love with him the night he gave me a ride because I was too drunk to drive myself home to my husband.

tags: love drunk husband [add]

2007-06-18 23:53:37 / Rating: 615.5 /


I didn't feel as humiliated when he told me that at least six other people puked their guts out at the last house party, but I still made sure to stay sober this time.

tags: drinking drunk party [add]

2006-10-10 09:24:53 / Rating: 486.75 /


We went out to drink, he got drunk and got caught by a teacher.

tags: drinking caught drunk [add]

2006-09-30 11:40:36 / Rating: 455 /


After twenty minutes of trying to order a p-p-p-pint of larger from the bar with a drunken stammer, I gave in and requested two half's in the same glass!

tags: humor bar pint stammer drunk [add]

2006-08-31 16:17:23 / Rating: 672.75 /


I don't know if I would have stayed with him all night comforting him while he puked his guts out into the toilet if I'd known that he wouldn't remember it the next morning.

tags: drunk vomit toilet memory [add]

2006-08-29 07:39:42 / Rating: 691 /


I shouldn't have told her so much truth when she called me drunk at 3 AM.

tags: drunk relationships phone calls [add]

2006-08-25 19:24:11 / Rating: 530 /


Once I got drunk and told a good friend, who had a boyfriend, that I loved her.

tags: love drunk [add]

2006-08-14 19:31:40 / Rating: 528.75 /


this one time at my best mates wedding i got drunk and broke lex's butt.

tags: wedding drunk butt [add]

2006-06-27 17:38:38 / Rating: 498.75 /