She never invited me to her father's funeral because she didn't think I knew him well enough but I never told her that, when she was at boarding school, I used to play chess with him every Saturday at 2:00 and lose.
2012-01-05 11:22:49 / Rating: 401.75 / 
The shirt I wanted to wear to your funeral went over the cliff in the back seat of your car.
2011-03-30 15:42:03 / Rating: 403.25 /
At my father's funeral, his best friend of 35 years came up to me and asked me how I knew the deceased.
2010-08-10 16:44:29 / Rating: 345 /
My cousin and I were two years old, playing tag around the coffee table, not understanding why all the grown-ups were crying.
2010-08-05 12:23:38 / Rating: 453 /
I'll never forget the day my mom turned to me out of the blue and informed me, "When I die, I want everyone to dress as clowns at my funeral."
2010-03-23 16:14:06 / Rating: 750.75 /
At my mother's funeral, my grandparents argued over the type of lettuce they had eaten the night before and I interrupted them by admitting I was pregnant.
2010-02-02 12:49:54 / Rating: 415.25 /
At my dad's funeral, my friend's mother came up to my sister and asked her how she knew the family.
2009-11-16 22:29:12 / Rating: 252.25 /
Pulling over, the biker took off his helmet and bowed his head as the 30 car funeral recession slowly passed.
2009-11-06 14:29:27 / Rating: 777.75 /
We realized as we went up to pay our respects, that though they shared the same name and everyone was very friendly, we were obviously at the wrong funeral.
2009-09-14 11:17:24 / Rating: 830.75 /
We held up our mother like lonely shelved encyclopedias.
2009-03-17 12:10:22 / Rating: 387.5 /
I watched her tiny tummy sucking in, her skin pulling tight against her ribs, her hand involuntarily closing on my index finger as she struggled for every breath, and I thought, "One day, is one day too much to ask?"
2008-12-22 15:51:17 / Rating: 847 /
When you said I wasn't allowed to say anything at the funeral because it would be "improper," I knew I hated you.
2008-10-07 16:51:41 / Rating: 469.25 /
She was heavier dead than alive.
2008-06-09 12:20:29 / Rating: 590.25 /
As I pass the full parking lot at the funeral home on my daily commute, I am reminded that no matter how stressful I think my day has been, at least I am not on my way to a funeral.
2008-05-20 10:22:01 / Rating: 432 /
When I was 5 or so my mom would tell me to lie down before she tied my tie and I just now realized at the age of 19 that she did this because she's a funeral director.
2008-04-08 16:46:37 / Rating: 7030.75 /
I wrote "thank you" notes to everyone who had attended the funeral as if it had been a baby shower.
2008-04-07 14:32:41 / Rating: 500.75 /
The sight of my usually stoic mother weeping on the lid of her brother's casket is one I wish I could have gone a lifetime without seeing.
2008-03-07 16:48:18 / Rating: 559.75 /
About the dumbest thing you can say about an embalmed body at a funeral is that they "look good," but that is what everyone kept saying.
2008-02-20 16:22:18 / Rating: 600.75 /
Midway through my father's funeral, I realized that almost everyone at the service probably thought my best friend--whose hand I was clinging to--was my lesbian lover.
2007-10-15 17:32:11 / Rating: 647.5 /
I was a row behind her at his wake, two at his funeral, and across the table at the dinner but I never told her I slept with him while they were dating.
2007-09-07 22:43:40 / Rating: 418 /
Later, I would realize that I cried harder when my dog died than I did at Mom's funeral.
2007-07-23 13:30:06 / Rating: 719.25 /
It wasn't until the eulogy ended that I realized I had been thinking about porn instead of listening.
2007-05-24 23:43:50 / Rating: 1487.5 /
I couldn't think of a polite way to say that I didn't want to look at her mother's corpse, so I buried my face in my husband's shoulder as we filed past the coffin.
2006-10-11 12:16:37 / Rating: 595.25 /
