Story archives - tag: "funny"


Is it weird that I had a better time talking to the stripper than getting a lap dance from her?

tags: humor strippers sad funny conversation [add]

2014-02-05 11:27:27 / Rating: 604.25 /


Symbolic of our relationship, we high fived after losing our virginities to one another.

tags: sex funny teen romance teen love [add]

2013-09-18 06:41:37 / Rating: 370.25 /


When I asked him what size his shirt was, and he turned it around so he could check, I realized just how smart he actually was.

tags: kids smart funny [add]

2012-02-21 14:41:52 / Rating: 348.25 /

Different and proud

When my dad told me to "not knock up a girl in college, and do whatever you have to make sure it doesn't happen" he never envisioned me having a transgender girlfriend.

tags: happy tansgender funny [add]

2011-11-11 11:27:55 / Rating: 420.75 /


Our papa turned around in the drivers seat to urgently wag his finger at us whilst saying, "Never cook bacon naked!"

tags: papa funny advice driving finger never cook bacon naked [add]

2011-06-17 14:00:43 / Rating: 581.5 /


That's when I looked down and realized my fake nail had somehow caught fire, and no one was around to witness it but my fish.

tags: humor funny life [add]

2010-01-14 11:09:41 / Rating: 605.25 /

Steampunk Wench

It's nice to know that no matter where I go and how long I'm gone for, my mother will always arrange my dolls in random sexual positions as a 'welcome home' surprise.

tags: home welcome funny toys [add]

2009-12-30 09:06:29 / Rating: 899.25 /


After I spilled gasoline on my shoes while topping off my car's tank on the way to lunch, my daughter announced to the cashier at McDonald's, "If you smell gas, it's coming from my mom."

tags: humor funny daughter embarrassing spill gasoline smell double entendre [add]

2009-07-10 11:14:59 / Rating: 749.5 /


During a 6.2 earthquake that shook our building violently, my half-asleep husband sat up, looked at me in confusion and asked, "What are you doing?"

tags: earthquake humor funny husband sleeping [add]

2009-07-06 09:27:49 / Rating: 974 /


My husband informed me that he isn't a kid anymore because he eats his snack packs with a spoon.

tags: funny ironic child [add]

2009-06-19 16:28:05 / Rating: 591.5 /

Timmy D

My dog doesn't understand daylight savings.

tags: humor dog strange funny puppy [add]

2009-03-09 12:14:10 / Rating: 701.5 /


She kissed me in the parking lot of the Mormon church, and all the cars drove by slowly, honking their horns.

tags: lesbian best friend old flame funny private joke kiss [add]

2008-12-31 12:43:34 / Rating: 810 /

twisted babysitter

After I convinced the kids I had gotten them duct tape and underwear for Christmas, they were quite appreciative of their real gifts.

tags: christmas joke present babysitter funny [add]

2008-12-25 23:02:05 / Rating: 577 /


I reminded myself where the door out of the darkroom was with my face.

tags: face broken nose funny hurts [add]

2008-11-06 14:14:24 / Rating: 539.5 /

AM Jordan

To the roar of applause, I turned, holding my violin proudly to the shouts of ENCORE, and promptly fell off the stage in a heap.

tags: funny solo violin concert [add]

2008-09-02 15:06:52 / Rating: 537 /


I know "vomit-free since '08" isn't as cool as "vomit-free since '03," but I really didn't have a choice.

tags: funny vomit rhyme [add]

2008-08-27 16:18:00 / Rating: 523.25 /


My car was stolen and when it was found 5 hours later the thief had replaced a spark plug and filled it with gas.

tags: car stolen gas funny [add]

2008-08-14 20:33:18 / Rating: 1052.5 /


The broken car window was only made more annoying by the fact that they hadn't actually stolen anything.

tags: thief stupid annoying irony funny [add]

2008-05-13 11:57:45 / Rating: 677.5 /


I was told that the cat got an infected nipple from licking himself too much when no one is home.

tags: funny gross cats [add]

2008-05-13 10:28:52 / Rating: 600.25 /

Marty B

My two-year-old was trying to say "I'm stuck," but I thought she said "I'm a duck" and spent the next five minutes playing along and making "quacking" sounds.

tags: toddler humor funny quack duck stuck [add]

2007-08-23 18:07:36 / Rating: 1162 /


I informed my husband that I wanted a divorce after he told me that he doesn't like marshmallows.

tags: humor funny food sweet candy [add]

2007-08-14 16:58:54 / Rating: 675.75 /


After meticulously explaining the birds and the bees my little boy looked at his sister and asked me, "You had sex twice?"

tags: children funny [add]

2007-08-01 12:38:13 / Rating: 754 /

Jonathan Stanton

That's when I knew I was doomed.

tags: doom doomed funny oh no mistake [add]

2007-05-10 10:39:28 / Rating: 589.5 /


We were in bed one day and he told me that I was more fun than a game of Magic "sometimes."

tags: love sex nerdy funny [add]

2006-08-25 14:18:00 / Rating: 921.25 /

Dave Walls

I vowed today not to laugh at someone's funny name while working, then I was introduced to a older woman named "Gay Usher".

tags: work humor funny names [add]

2006-07-17 17:50:32 / Rating: 816.5 /