Nancy
Five years and five phones later, I still add your number every time.
Five years and five phones later, I still add your number every time.
I went to my appointment expecting to find out if it was a boy or girl, but instead I discovered how very difficult it is to say goodbye.
There's nothing quite like the moment a drug deal goes bad, and you see someone lose their head.
When I almost killed myself, you licked the tears from my face and when you died, I held your cold paw and tried not to cry.
Shortly after having chemotherapy to end the ectopic pregnancy, the scan revealed that the baby was in fact inside the womb with a beating heart.
A few miles outside of Manhattan, my father carried a collapsible lawn chair to the lower level of Macys at the Queens Center Mall.
His old, worn-out pair of Wellington boots haven't moved from their spot on the back porch in 10 years.
If my brother were not already dead I would kill him for what he has done to our family.
I couldn't stop thinking about how that picture board had been made for a graduation party, not a funeral.
Watching my mother lean over my father's coffin to kiss him and tell him goodbye was the most painful moment of my entire life.
I will never forgive them for letting me find out my aunt had committed suicide on the five o'clock news.
After crying in a church parking lot for 20 minutes about the news of my best friend's death, someone from the church asked me to leave.
Shortly after a palliative care nurse suggested Preparation H as a treatment for my weeping induced under-eye bags, my mother, who was dying of cancer, opened her eyes and left me with these parting words of wisdom to sustain me after she died: "Whatever you do, Petunia, do NOT put ass cream on your face."
Since he died, I haven't been able to enjoy hugs at all.
I've slept with a fan on every night for the past 13 years, 7 months, and 14 days.
It's been a month today since he died and this website was my last port of call for somewhere he might have hidden a message to me.
I braced myself, stoic and still as stone, as they wheeled your body into the room, and I didn't break down until I realized your long hair was still wet from the last shower you took.
When they left me alone with your body, my fist came down so hard I heard your ribs crack.
I wrote "thank you" notes to everyone who had attended the funeral as if it had been a baby shower.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from the chair, still warm, as they carted your body away.
I slammed my body into the hood of my truck on the night you died and the dent is still there.
I felt her grip loosen on my hand as she slipped away.
One of the worst feelings comes along with seeing your dog dying in the middle of the road after you accidently ran over her.
Five minutes later, she realized that she hadn't thought about him for five minutes.