Story archives - tag: "gross"

Miss Soviet Ukraine

When I was five, I licked my father's shaver and cut my tongue.

tags: dad gross childhood [add]

2010-05-18 16:02:26 / Rating: 552 /

More Ewww

I held the black light up to my friend's keyboard and now you couldn't pay me to touch that thing.

tags: gross masturbation [add]

2009-11-05 11:34:18 / Rating: 262 /


My sister caught me eating the callus I'd peeled off the bottom of my foot, and that was the end of that habit.

tags: gross humor childhood [add]

2009-09-02 08:38:12 / Rating: 554.75 /


I asked my friend if I could use his computer for a second only to find the words "how to properly pick your nose" in the google search queue.

tags: humor internet picking your nose gross boys [add]

2009-01-12 15:26:37 / Rating: 566.25 /


I just finished a project on bees, and now that I've learned how they make honey, previously one of my favorite foods, I never want to eat it again.

tags: gross bees ruined [add]

2009-01-07 09:35:31 / Rating: 330.25 /


It wasn't until I sat down at the table that I realized I had drizzled maple syrup over my kung pao tofu instead of soy sauce.

tags: humor gross food why was it even out there? [add]

2008-11-14 15:22:40 / Rating: 529 /


Boogers on your space key don't exactly impress your friends.

tags: oh my boogers gross haha [add]

2008-11-12 14:59:30 / Rating: 299.25 /


He was using the urinal while talking on his cell phone.

tags: gross bathroom cell phone [add]

2008-10-20 15:17:30 / Rating: 340.5 /

Thanks, Gustav!

201 electricity-free hours will make you reconsider ever buying frozen fish again.

tags: humor electricity hurricane fish gross [add]

2008-09-10 14:40:14 / Rating: 547 /


If you thought toilet paper on the back of your shoe was bad, try someone else's used pad.

tags: gross period pad humor embarassment [add]

2008-08-26 10:18:04 / Rating: 666.5 /


I didn't tell her the candy she popped in her mouth had just been half-eaten by the dog.

tags: dog gross candy sisters [add]

2008-07-16 10:53:46 / Rating: 532.25 /


As I skidded on a trail of pee on the hardwood floor, I realized I couldn't be with the one I love because I hate his dog.

tags: love dog gross [add]

2008-06-03 15:35:44 / Rating: 533 /


As the vomit crawled up my throat I suddenly realized I was holding the barf bag upside down.

tags: humor childhood airplanes gross oops vomit [add]

2008-05-30 10:06:48 / Rating: 713 /


I was told that the cat got an infected nipple from licking himself too much when no one is home.

tags: funny gross cats [add]

2008-05-13 10:28:52 / Rating: 600.25 /

your friendly host

I sincerely hope whoever spat that gigantic loogie in their to-go box and left it on table #14 for my hand to stumble upon falls into a fiery pit of aborted pig fetuses.

tags: jobs gross restaurants [add]

2008-02-11 17:14:37 / Rating: 457.75 /


You would think that the weirdest thing about my family is that my step grandma is younger then my mom, but in fact it the strange thing is that she is sleeping with my mom's brother.

tags: gross family childhood [add]

2008-01-31 12:09:51 / Rating: 749.75 /

Spinal Nap

After that, I vowed I would never again offer to pop a hard-to-reach zit for her.

tags: humor gross cleaning [add]

2007-03-16 13:42:16 / Rating: 467.75 /


While trying to go to the bathroom at the movie theater, I skipped over two stalls without toilet paper and one with pee on the seat before settling on the stall that didn't lock.

tags: humor gross bathroom [add]

2007-02-05 09:50:06 / Rating: 636.25 /

Baron Raymundo

To this very day my kid brother still won't touch anything if I tell him it tastes like chocolate.

tags: humor siblings childhood food gross [add]

2006-11-29 15:16:20 / Rating: 773.25 /


Joanne had already inserted her card in the ATM when she realised that the keypad had been liberally thrown up on.

tags: vomit puke gross [add]

2006-09-13 13:31:26 / Rating: 703.5 /