Story archives - tag: "humour"


Like always, my foot was the only thing that fell asleep last night.

tags: insomnia humour sleep life [add]

2012-06-04 18:11:12 / Rating: 578 /


We realized it was the wrong parking lot to make out in when we saw the drug dealer flash his gun.

tags: humour dating kissing relationships gun [add]

2011-07-20 11:57:11 / Rating: 454.25 /


On our first Valentine's Day together he gave me a corset, a thong, and a bus ticket.

tags: dating valentine's day humour [add]

2011-02-14 13:16:48 / Rating: 529.75 /


The same day i hear my therapist say "fuck" for the first time, I learn her cat's name is Sparkles.

tags: irony therapy humour [add]

2010-06-25 11:11:32 / Rating: 460.5 /


When I was 3, my cousin convinced me that avocado was really moldy butter and 15 years later, I still can't eat it.

tags: gullible childhood humour [add]

2010-03-02 13:13:26 / Rating: 563.5 /


The consequences of my wife opening a bulging can of dog food will remain us forever.

tags: humour pet botulism [add]

2010-02-16 13:27:18 / Rating: 370.75 /

Andy KO King

The only bone I've ever broken is someone else's nose.

tags: humour violence school [add]

2010-02-01 11:17:03 / Rating: 424.25 /


I knew my brother was going to be a good acrobat when, at five years old, he tripped over a rock mid run and did a 360 degree flip into a nearby fish pond.

tags: childhood humour brother acrobat trip fish pond [add]

2010-01-07 16:04:56 / Rating: 625 /

I'm impressed but also sleep deprived.

My hamster has cleverly figured out how to detatch his water bottle and throw it across the room loudly when he's thirsty.

tags: pets hamster humour [add]

2009-06-19 16:23:55 / Rating: 720.25 /


When I went downstairs to use the internet I found my father passed out drunk in front of the computer, so I blogged over top of him.

tags: dad blog drinking humour home family [add]

2009-06-14 17:37:38 / Rating: 602 /

The one who is

I never realized organism and orgasm are such close words, until the day i made my science presentation.

tags: embarrassment humour presenting [add]

2009-06-10 11:00:03 / Rating: 586.25 /


I knew I had to find a steady boyfriend when the cat ate my birth control pill.

tags: sex humour sad [add]

2009-03-17 12:13:21 / Rating: 486.75 /

Why I Enjoy Class

When I said to my best friend that I wanted to bite my biology teacher's ass, I didn't think he was walking behind me.

tags: crush humour hot teacher inappropriate comment [add]

2009-03-05 11:30:19 / Rating: 483.5 /


Tomorrow I'll look around at my 19-yr-old college classmates and think: you have no idea what kinky things I did to celebrate my 50th birthday this weekend.

tags: birthday college aging humour [add]

2009-02-02 11:04:52 / Rating: 1093.25 /


The ultimate conversation stopper award belongs to my Grampa, who silenced the Christmas dinner chatter with “…and you never saw a dog die so fast in all your life”.

tags: humour shocking grandfather Christmas [add]

2009-01-29 16:23:43 / Rating: 628.75 /

Hidden Treatures

After just purchasing a used couch and attempting to pick it up, it's hard to believe the seller when he says the bottle of KY that fell out isn't theirs.

tags: humour couch furniture ky lube [add]

2009-01-23 14:20:26 / Rating: 439.5 /


We didn't wait till our wedding night and we were a little late for our reception.

tags: sex marriage love relationships romance humour [add]

2009-01-19 15:10:37 / Rating: 1106.25 /


Despite my family spending a lot of money on a name-brand toaster when I was a child, the half-broken Mickey Mouse toaster my husband found in our apartment building's dumpster makes the best toast I've ever had.

tags: humour toast dumpster diving money isn't everything [add]

2009-01-09 11:20:49 / Rating: 533.5 /


His mom friended me on Facebook a week after he broke my heart.

tags: humour heartbreak moms boyfriend Facebook [add]

2008-12-02 13:05:31 / Rating: 513.5 /


It's funny how scared housemates get when you put up a note about a possible spider living in the bathroom.

tags: humour messing with you scaredy cat [add]

2008-10-28 13:53:35 / Rating: 405 /

Jay M

It was only when the blood started running down my arms that I suddenly realised that changing the lightbulb while drunk might not have been such a good idea.

tags: humour drunkeness injury lightbulbs [add]

2008-10-23 14:11:10 / Rating: 478.75 /


"What on earth is that?" are not words that inspire confidence when you're undergoing a colonoscopy.

tags: medical humour health [add]

2008-09-15 11:45:53 / Rating: 615.75 /


I think that I must be the only one who observes soberly dressed office workers on their way to and from work and wonders if they are wearing brightly coloured underwear beneath their suits.

tags: office work humour underwear humor [add]

2007-09-27 12:28:46 / Rating: 808.75 /


I was 16 when I learned my parents weren't immortal.

tags: irony sad humour [add]

2007-02-12 12:36:47 / Rating: 712 /


"It's an interesting coincidence that the third advent candle is lit on the third day of Channukah this year," said the Muslim gleefully.

tags: religion humour multiculturalism [add]

2006-12-18 10:00:46 / Rating: 616.75 /


After deliberating for hours on how to finish with her epileptic boyfriend, she phoned him only to discover he'd had a fit and lost his memory.

tags: humour endings [add]

2006-11-29 09:25:45 / Rating: 442.25 /


"For you? Really?" the man in the pharmacy said, surprised, when I asked him to pass me a pregnancy test.

tags: humour humor pregnancy pharmacy chemist test surprise [add]

2006-09-23 12:01:40 / Rating: 1488.75 /