Story archives - tag: "life"


Like always, my foot was the only thing that fell asleep last night.

tags: insomnia humour sleep life [add]

2012-06-04 18:11:12 / Rating: 583.25 /


My grandmother called me the other day asking if I wanted any weed, because the man across the hall is selling it and she thought it was an excellent deal.

tags: humor family life [add]

2012-03-15 14:06:27 / Rating: 939.5 /


The definition of perspective is that moment after a seven-year-old dying of cancer asks if you're ok.

tags: childhood death life [add]

2011-10-18 16:28:37 / Rating: 748.25 /


I had a dead squirrel in one hand, a screaming child in the other, soon replaced with cake, and then I realized my life had taken an odd turn.

tags: humor teaching life [add]

2011-10-18 16:27:38 / Rating: 308.75 /


I asked my 93 year old Grandmother, who I adore, what she thought life was all about and she replied, "I don't think about those type of things."

tags: grandmother life [add]

2011-08-29 08:15:30 / Rating: 501.5 /

ironic, huh?

My therapist thinks I should become a therapist.

tags: irony therapy humor life [add]

2011-03-04 09:53:47 / Rating: 762 /

middling mad

I was raped, molested, abused, lost, shot, and abandoned, but my biggest fear is taxidermy.

tags: fears trauma childhood life phobia [add]

2010-11-16 11:56:35 / Rating: 693.75 /


I walked away from the most attractive girl I have ever seen mid conversation only to find my wife had been sleeping with her boss for several months.

tags: life wife boss cheating [add]

2010-11-05 14:22:00 / Rating: 384.25 /


When I was a teen I wished that I would get hit on a lot, but now that I'm in my late twenties I wish I could go to the grocery store or pump gas without getting hit on.

tags: irony beauty life [add]

2010-10-19 15:19:48 / Rating: 392.5 /


We were going to share our lives together until he changed his mind the day before, and now he wants me to send him updates of our hedgehog's life, but not mine.

tags: life hedgehog love [add]

2010-10-04 15:16:24 / Rating: 389.75 /


My dad's last note to me was "Always hear the music in your life."

tags: dad death love life happiness note [add]

2010-02-25 08:04:29 / Rating: 805.5 /


That's when I looked down and realized my fake nail had somehow caught fire, and no one was around to witness it but my fish.

tags: humor funny life [add]

2010-01-14 11:09:41 / Rating: 605.25 /


His family watched in morbid silence while seven perplexed fiancees wept by his graveside.

tags: life irony deception [add]

2009-11-19 09:21:48 / Rating: 621 /

The wandering homeless

The day I dropped out of high school, botched my entrance into Harvard, and set out on my journey across the country on foot was the day I realized I would come back for you, and only you.

tags: wandering love returning hope dreams life travel friends life of a hobo [add]

2009-09-17 14:36:15 / Rating: 842 /

They have it in for us...

I found out today that the notebook with three chapters of my eleven chapter story and the entire outline of the book was thrown out a week ago.

tags: life writing [add]

2009-03-06 10:22:57 / Rating: 367 /


Normal has been tilted and is now my new normal ever since my husband committed suicide.

tags: life death [add]

2009-02-06 14:10:31 / Rating: 462.5 /


I've garnered two Emmy Awards plus two Associated Press awards and I'll always be known as the dude who hit the "perfect showcase bid" on The Price Is Right.

tags: life strange weird humor [add]

2009-01-30 11:11:11 / Rating: 763 /


When the polygraph ended, he looked up and smiled at me saying, "I'll give you this: I've been doing this a long time and you are the most nervous person I've ever met."

tags: career life nerves polygraph [add]

2008-10-06 13:15:42 / Rating: 442.5 /

Lady Roots

She saw the horror in his eyes as the dentist realized he had just cemented both his thumbs to her lower bridgework.

tags: life dentist oops [add]

2008-09-26 17:34:05 / Rating: 624.5 /

IF only

A barren womb may destroy more than just the dreams of a life that never will be.

tags: dreams life marriage infertility childlessness [add]

2008-07-21 16:12:01 / Rating: 538.75 /


I told the eighty-something-year-old man to "Have a nice day", and he told me to "Have a nice life."

tags: life goodbye [add]

2008-07-16 10:55:04 / Rating: 807 /


Yesterday, I got a black eye from a plastic hammer.

tags: two-year-olds humor life [add]

2008-07-10 15:31:22 / Rating: 475 /


As a child I wrote in my journal how much I hated my mother and wished I would die, but as an adult, when she told me she had read my childhood journal, I hated myself for writing such horrible things.

tags: life hate family [add]

2008-06-30 13:24:30 / Rating: 655.25 /


After three years of Alzheimer's ravaging his mind, he looked at me, his 18 year old granddaughter, and asked, "Are you mad at me mommy?"

tags: sad life sickness mental illness Alzheimer's [add]

2008-06-04 10:07:17 / Rating: 924 /


When my sister was too young to care about floaties, I saved her because my adulterous father was too busy with his adulterous wife to notice her drowning.

tags: pool drown life save close-call [add]

2008-06-02 13:37:10 / Rating: 522.25 /


While driving home and contemplating what my father said to me, I realized how terrified I am by the idea of doing anything for 30 years.

tags: father job life terrified [add]

2008-04-28 10:49:52 / Rating: 609 /


In January we got married, in February we bought a house, in March we took in a 14-year-old boy, and in May I'll turn 22.

tags: life marriage fast [add]

2008-04-21 13:55:55 / Rating: 684.75 /


The first day I walked into six grade was the last day I was optimistic.

tags: anti-social social division childhood grade six life [add]

2008-04-08 16:54:25 / Rating: 722.25 /

clocks and such

At approximately 1:30 pm on Friday February 1, 2008, I realized that when you get to college they expect you to wear watches.

tags: realization time life [add]

2008-03-12 17:47:17 / Rating: 544.25 /

Family Girl

Over the last month, the cold reality of life has struck since one uncle died, another uncle had a stroke, my mother found out she has breast cancer and my grandmother is on her way to an assisted living facility.

tags: life death family separation sad inevitability [add]

2008-02-13 13:09:19 / Rating: 748 /


"Goodbye sex" only reopens old wounds.

tags: sex college love life [add]

2008-02-08 16:50:49 / Rating: 711 /


I saw my grandmother's death, the grandmother I had lived with until the seventh grade, as merely an opportunity to miss school.

tags: cynicism life death school laziness indifference apathy selfish [add]

2008-01-16 14:21:29 / Rating: 749.5 /

My quality of life is inversely proportional to the number of keys on my keyring.

tags: philosophy questions and answers research keys quality life [add]

2008-01-16 14:18:24 / Rating: 525.5 /


My life is on the cusp of requiring more than one sentence.

tags: meta life [add]

2007-12-03 15:18:33 / Rating: 752 /


As I sit here, barely listening to a lecture about divesting interests in a mature market, I am suddenly struck with the realization that I don't belong here.

tags: school life [add]

2007-11-26 12:33:54 / Rating: 531.75 /

La De Da

It's never like the movies...we pulled the plug and he took two hours to die.

tags: death dad hospital life [add]

2007-11-15 22:21:37 / Rating: 907.5 /

designer blues

I think my mid-life crisis has arrived earlier than expected.

tags: designer career crisis life [add]

2007-10-30 14:16:16 / Rating: 471.5 /


Life's too short to stop eating apples.

tags: apples life food [add]

2007-10-23 11:47:50 / Rating: 527.75 /


Today in my embalming lab we sliced, injected, and sutured a woman who is my thriving grandmother's senior by only six days.

tags: death life cadaver [add]

2007-10-18 14:00:50 / Rating: 631 /

corporate girl

I have experienced a bizarre feeling monday morning when I realized I couldn't wait to get to the office, even though I had a nice weekend with my friends.

tags: life boredom office clubbing [add]

2007-10-16 11:01:20 / Rating: 492 /


There's no life worse than surviving a failed suicide.

tags: life suicide [add]

2007-10-05 10:23:27 / Rating: 756.5 /


It seemed quite fitting that he lived on a dead-end street.

tags: humor dead end life [add]

2007-09-24 09:33:42 / Rating: 590 /


My life is a typography error.

tags: life typos geekcore [add]

2007-08-23 18:07:02 / Rating: 475.25 /

This is me

Much like the song written by "Garbage," I am always happy when it rains.

tags: rain life happiness music [add]

2007-08-21 09:58:37 / Rating: 652.75 /

This is me

The one thing I don't like about being an adult is the people always want to have serious, meaningful conversations.

tags: adult life friends talking [add]

2007-08-19 21:37:14 / Rating: 707.5 /


I met the love of my life not on the subway or in a bar, but in my bowling class.

tags: love life bowling relationships [add]

2007-07-31 14:35:39 / Rating: 620.5 /


I stopped being depressed when I saw a snippet of the Jerry Springer episode entitled "It all ends with a pig", and I knew that my life wasnt that bad.

tags: depression tv life [add]

2007-07-27 09:28:00 / Rating: 583.25 /


From waitress to dental assistant to deckhand to electronics tech to retirement has been a real trip!

tags: retirement careers life [add]

2007-06-26 16:58:09 / Rating: 480.25 /


She too had been sexually assaulted by a five year older brother at the age of nine, and suddenly, I had found a sister in life.

tags: life abuse [add]

2007-06-26 16:55:34 / Rating: 541.5 /


If I would have known inviting you into my bedroom would make you turn the invitations to the rest of my rooms down, I wouldn't have been so hospitable.

tags: lust life love [add]

2007-06-15 13:48:38 / Rating: 696.75 /


I'm turning sixteen in a few months but I feel like I'm the only person who misses being in the backseat; knowing that in a few years I'll have to make all the decisions in life.

tags: growing up life uncertainty [add]

2007-06-11 16:17:10 / Rating: 675.25 /


My life has been a never-ending series of bad haircuts and parking tickets.

tags: realization life humor [add]

2007-06-11 16:15:28 / Rating: 706.5 /


I am descended from a long line of widows.

tags: life ancestors widows women [add]

2007-05-14 13:31:18 / Rating: 505.75 /

SJ Boredome

I acknowledged the fact that I have no life when the first thing I do every morning is check

tags: humor life bored meta [add]

2007-05-10 10:40:17 / Rating: 651.5 /


My freshmen year of college isn't even over yet and I'm already wishing I could start it over again.

tags: college life mistakes regret [add]

2007-05-09 11:24:59 / Rating: 759.5 /


The bottom of the coffee cup broke away like a Dutch dike with no little finger to slow the flow.

tags: life humor today [add]

2007-04-25 15:53:31 / Rating: 486.75 /


I love my cars so much I run them into other objects so I never have to share.

tags: humor selfish life happiness joy love [add]

2007-04-03 14:42:02 / Rating: 752.25 /


My good male friend always points out girls that he finds attractive-most of whom I completely disagree with-but then I wonder why he doesn't think I'm pretty.

tags: friends life pretty [add]

2007-03-30 11:25:55 / Rating: 679.5 /

A kid

Maybe I was wrong, but your "I love you" felt more heartfelt when you thought I was addicted.

tags: drugs drug friends love lies life hurt childhood addiction [add]

2007-03-16 13:43:12 / Rating: 878 /


A psychiatrist myself, I don't know why my identical twin sister, a poet, has spent a lifetime battling schizophrenia or why I escaped the same fate, but I know this: when I look in the mirror I still see her face.

tags: schizophrenia psychiatry life twin poet psychiatrist [add]

2007-03-14 16:05:16 / Rating: 675.75 /


I tried to sum up my life story into one fantastic sentence, but all I could think of was "shit happens."

tags: life story humor [add]

2007-03-14 16:03:19 / Rating: 735.25 /


I stood under the stars as a man, and sang a requiem for the boy I had been.

tags: man stars requiem mourning life [add]

2007-02-20 15:23:21 / Rating: 685.5 /


Last night, on our second date, I came to the conclusion that you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

tags: love life [add]

2007-02-12 12:35:53 / Rating: 598.25 /


The work week seems to be a repeating blip that echoes a nasty scratch on the record of life.

tags: work life depression money time week weekend loneliness lonely sad music scratch skip world economy social crisis freedom [add]

2007-02-12 12:32:42 / Rating: 1005.5 /


I once thought that not growing up sick would make me a better person, but then I learned that the opposite was true.

tags: childhood sick lesson learning life opposite ironic [add]

2006-12-22 00:31:34 / Rating: 718 /


While I was at work making money for her, she was with some other guy.

tags: cheating money life [add]

2006-12-21 14:51:25 / Rating: 585.25 /


The car was packed and loaded, and with tears in my eyes I hugged my son and said goodbye.

tags: mother son life love old pride college [add]

2006-12-10 13:14:36 / Rating: 797.25 /


I was humble until the day I realized I was humble.

tags: humor lessons character humility soul life [add]

2006-11-30 12:42:52 / Rating: 687 /

Pocketwatch Pope

It wasn't until the next day that they found out they had both called me at the same time and that, if they hadn't, none of us would have been alive to realize it.

tags: friends irony lesson life [add]

2006-11-05 11:42:39 / Rating: 690.25 /

Robot Girl

I should be sleeping, but I keep thinkig about all of the things I need to do, should have done, and about how I don't want to screw everything up.

tags: love college essay school highschool homecoming family life future [add]

2006-10-16 14:51:10 / Rating: 924.25 /


Hell would be better.

tags: life sad [add]

2006-10-16 12:54:14 / Rating: 541 /


I should know better than to drink too much coffee and then contemplate what happens after death.

tags: life death coffee [add]

2006-10-16 12:53:36 / Rating: 643.25 /


He asked me if I would marry him, and it was then, the second I said yes, I knew that he was not the love of my life.

tags: love life learning marriage [add]

2006-09-26 10:51:14 / Rating: 705.25 /


This month began blackly with a death and ended radiantly with a marriage.

tags: marriage death life [add]

2006-09-21 21:36:20 / Rating: 710.5 /


When I read that the moon is moving away from the Earth at a rate of an inch a year, I knew one day too it would abandon me.

tags: astronomy life lonely [add]

2006-09-11 23:18:21 / Rating: 953 /