new found family
The day her mother told me she loved me and would always be there for me, was the same day my own mother said I disgusted her to her very soul.
The day her mother told me she loved me and would always be there for me, was the same day my own mother said I disgusted her to her very soul.
The day I met you, my acne medicine squirted out in the shape of a heart.
“You,” he told me, standing in the dark on the dock at his cottage, watching falling stars, “are the best part of my summer.”
Sometimes, learning that you're the other woman is just as emotionally wrecking as discovering that there is another woman.
On the anniversary of the day we were supposed to get married I called you from Africa to give you my blessing to marry her.
You said my crooked smile was amazing to draw, but then I found you loved to draw her perfect one better.
I've spent 20 years being worried about how much taller I was than all the boys, and in 7 minutes I fell in love with a boy in a wheelchair.
I had always wanted to meet your family, but never under these circumstances.
A few miles outside of Manhattan, my father carried a collapsible lawn chair to the lower level of Macys at the Queens Center Mall.
When I asked her why he was out of her league her only response was, "Because I know he won't beat me."
One busted ceiling, one surgery, $2,000, four days of tube feeding and five nights on my bed later: my cat is safe.
When my religious grandmother told me that she thought it was "disgusting for gays to marry," I realized that she would never come to my wedding.
Our dog ate a palm tree seed and two thousand dollars later he's still alive.
After three children, one miscarriage, seventeen moves, and spending my life doing my best to love him unconditionally, he said, "I don't love you and I never have," and he walked out.
I caught my 3-year old son doodling on the screen of the new LED TV when he uttered his first complete sentence of, "Draw only on paper mommy?"
As we walked through the city, he held my hand and said, "Infidelity is a big part of our relationship."
My 18 year old sister's pregnancy that was unknown until she was 7 1/2 months along has improved my mom's and my relationship to the point that I actually feel a little comfortable telling her things now.
I married and divorced my high school sweetheart and a crazy Colombian before finding my soulmate.
Finally, I realized that what he wanted - even more than to walk - was to be kissed, so I climbed onto his wheelchair and I did it.
It was when my schizophrenic patient gave me a diamond ring for Christmas that I realized my friends were right all those years when they called me "flirty."
Even though I was an emotional wreck after leaving him at the airport terminal, it really touched my heart to find out that people cried watching us say goodbye to each other before he left for war.
Three years ago, I vowed to myself that if my father ever hurt my mom like he had hurt me that morning, I'd kill him.
My friends can't decide whether to be creeped out or amused by the fact that I have it bad for the girl who was my roommate for a week in a mental hospital.
One year later, I still haven't told you that dinner with you on our first date was a major step to recovering from my eating disorder.
The man I love proposed to me whilst hanging upside-down from a tree.
I loved everything about her, so I introduced her to all my friends, and they loved her too, so she slept with all of them.
When I went online that night, I never expected to make a new friend, and certainly didn't realize that someday we'd get married.
You hid love notes on purple post its all over my room when we were together, and I fear that finding the last one will break my heart all over again.
The week I started my first normal, loving, healthy relationship was the week I found out I have genital herpes.
We were going to share our lives together until he changed his mind the day before, and now he wants me to send him updates of our hedgehog's life, but not mine.
Your brains will never wash off our daughter's bedroom walls.
I had always fantasized about hearing that four-worded question, but I never imagined how perfect it would look as it did when he signed it to me.
Very few people can claim they've known their significant other since they were velociraptors wrecking havoc on the playground.
He always said we had "the world's longest running unrequited internet love" after 16 years of online friendship and flirting, but we never thought it'd be forever.
After reading a box of old greeting cards from my parents, I realized for the first time that the only card my Dad ever signed "Love, Dad" was the last one he ever gave me before he unexpectedly died.
She cried as her daughter and her best friends shaved their heads too, so she wouldn't have to be bald alone.
At 22 my father carried me to my old bed, and cried as he tucked me in minding not to touch the bruises that were a road map of pain and abuse I had hidden from him for almost two years.
She looked down at me where I knelt before her, engagement ring in hand, and replied, "Oh, don't ask me now, I've been such a bitch."
As I held her hand and told her I loved her, I knew the rest of the school would be out for our blood.
The one I love is pregnant now, and I should be horrified and angry at their rapist, but somehow it's nice that we can have a kid despite my vasectomy.
The day after the first fistful of my hair fell out, my son and his red pit bull showed up for breakfast, both of them with shaved bald heads.
Faced with answering the phone or going to lunch I chose the phone with no way of knowing that the wrong number on the other end would someday be my husband.
"Look at all the stars!", I said in awe, to which he replied, as he peed in the bushes, "Where?"
After 10 years of counseling, a full time career, and the support of 4 children, my dad still cries every night at the loss of Mom.
We went to the Opening Ceremonies of the Paralympic Games, watched an NHL hockey game, and threw an amazing dinner party, but the highlight of my weekend was hearing my boyfriend's teenaged daughter tell the emergency nurse that I was her stepmom.
I realized I'm a true dog person when I had a dinner of plain pasta and a stolen snickers bar, because I couldn't afford anything more than that after buying my dog's prescription food.
My family always joked I started going to church because I was having sex with the pastor, but that didn't come until much later.
My dad's last note to me was "Always hear the music in your life."
He refuses to kiss my lips when another person is in my body.
It's hilarious to hear my father tell me he wasn't being a racist when he was berating me for "dating a filthy Filipina."
The day after I lost my virginity, I tried to send my parents the message subliminally by repeatedly setting the thermostat in the house to 69.
As I walked into the house, rather late, I detected the smell of a recently extinguished candle.
I thought he loved work more than me, but after he died I found out that my name was his work computer password.
While still 24, when I broke the news of the year to my father that I had fallen in love with this 48 year old beautiful woman, dismissively he responded, "Isn't one mom sufficient?"
Sinking into the dull green striped chair shoved near the back corner radio, I sat listening to the brilliant teacher, preaching to the class beliefs of love and peace.
He laid down his leather jacket and they sat by the water talking and staring up at the stars, pretending to find constellations that neither of them really knew the names of.
After thirty-seven years of marriage, he still says, "Good night, Sweet Girl."
Using Ken and Skipper as props, my cousin taught me that sex was when two people touched tongues and 15 years later I'm still correcting the misconceptions that it is impossible love without taking any clothes off.
The night I found out that she was pregnant, I met my wife in the park to tell her I was moving to Portland without her.
As much as I wanted to say it, the comic book store did not seem an appropriate place to tell you I wanted to be the mother of your children.
We were pen pals who lived 1951 miles apart, got the chance to meet in a different state, paddled backwards in a kayak, jumped off a bridge, and fell in love.
You watched Cartoon Network over my shoulder as I gave you my virginity.
When faced with the choice, I chose the girl who lives 450 miles instead of the girl who I have lunch with every day.
We were only sixteen when he asked me to marry him and now, after two kids, a mortgage, and sixteen more blissful years together, I wish I had said yes because it was the only time he ever asked.
I knew I would marry her when, instead of scolding me and complaining that video games were more important than her, she sat down beat my high score.
When class was canceled we talked for the first time.
As the vet inserted the needle, I noticed that my kitty was still purring.
The day I dropped out of high school, botched my entrance into Harvard, and set out on my journey across the country on foot was the day I realized I would come back for you, and only you.
Coincidentally I met the next man I would love on the same night the last man I loved cheated on me.
It's going to be hard telling my ex-mother-in-law that she is now going to be my sister-in-law.
A long time ago, a Czech immigrant joined a foreign naval force, jumped ship in America, killed a man in a bar fight, was sent to a chain gang in the south, then fell in love with and was broken out by my Cherokee great-grandmother.
My boyfriend had to reassure me that his grandmother didn't have a crush on me when she said I could have her engagement ring.
I knew you loved me when you came back inside the restaurant laughing after running across the street through traffic in freezing rain, to check on what I thought was a hurt bird, and turned out to be cardboard flapping over a ventilation shaft.
I made it all the way to Iroquois County before I finally burst into tears.
The night I decided to give you my virginity was the night that showed me how much you didn't deserve it.
When the surgeon asked me if the woman in the waiting room was my wife, I wanted to say "Someday, I hope."
He didn't believe in premarital sex until I asked him if he wanted to join me in the shower.
My wife is self-conscious and overweight after bearing our three children, and I still can't stop tearing her clothes off.
Our first kiss seemed to have perfect timing, immediately after her accidental elbow to my forehead.
I realized today that squeezing my own boob feels a lot like squeezing my boyfriends butt.
Who would have thought that the 40th stubborn text she sent to me after 8 months would actually make me realize I do still love her as a friend, and save our friendship.
For his birthday I gave him a Jenga set where every time you pulled out a block, it had a memory, inside joke, or quote on it.
Resting lazily in the grass, our fingers touched for the first time.
I find it ironic that the day you stopped loving me, the heart-shaped locket you'd given me wouldn't close and just hung open, looking like a broken heart.
His suicide note blamed me.
It's ridiculously infuriating to attempt cybersex with an ADHD teenager.
I realized today that when my aunt sends emails to the family, she puts my address as a "BCC" so my dad doesn't figure out my email and try to contact me that way too.
As I looked across the table at my husband and his new boyfriend, I found myself oddly happy for them.
He draws me pictures on my toaster strudels just like my mom used to do.
Thinking of my wife, I accidentally said, "I love you" into my boss's answering machine.
My mom's old cat still insists on purring when he sees me, even though a tumor on his vocal chords means he can't breathe when he does so.
On my 30th birthday I got rid of my horrible husband, changed the locks, got a tattoo on my foot and spent the night with the man I really loved.
I knew he loved me when he admitted his refusal to let me sleep by the window was for fear of a stray bullet.
Lesson Learned: "Open Relationship" = "I'm already seeing someone else."
The three of us laughed together for nearly an hour in a conversation begun by the phrase "Dad got transferred to a mental ward!"
That day my high school roommate opened our bakery alone because I was getting ready to marry her brother.
There was never a more beautiful sound than when I opened the door and heard her say, "Daddy, I'm scared, I can't feel my legs."
Ten years ago, I laughingly swore that I would never date anyone with the same name as me, and ten days ago, I happily broke this vow.
We didn't wait till our wedding night and we were a little late for our reception.
I can't believe that you smiling at me was the highlight of a day where I got an A on a test, found twenty bucks, and won a debate.
When I was 10-years-old, I gave my mom a note that said, "You are a bich!" and she laughed and showed me my mistake.
One of my best friends in high school killed himself after the only girl he ever asked out turned him down at the risk of being less popular, which is a shame because he would have been the best first boyfriend I ever had.
I realized how different we were when our laptops were sitting side by side, hers a pristene piece of plastic, mine a well loved, battered tool with stickers, scratches, and character.
The night I was in the hospital was the night I fell for the boy I had only known a week.
She ended our three-and-a-half year relationship on New Year's Day by telling me she never loved me, so I took back the engagement ring I had been carrying in my pocket and used the money to by a 55-inch plasma television.
When I realized you had a can of Chef Boyardee as a backup dinner for our first date, I knew I would love you.
My mom always joked that I could get a tattoo if it said, "I love Mom," so I made her hold my hand when I got it.
He'll never know how moving it was for me to watch him write "love" on his arms because I'll never tell him how many years I've spent carving hate into mine.
Dreaming of one person for hours straight can, and will, lead to delusions.
I got married at 16 because I was pregnant, at 21 because I was rebounding, at 29 because I was in love, and at 45 because I was an idiot, but this time, at 56, I'm marrying for money.
Since he died, I haven't been able to enjoy hugs at all.
If I hadn't sent him the link to a one sentence story after we broke up, then I might not be sitting here next to him and pregnant with his baby.
It's not every day you turn on talk radio to hear the boy you loved trashing the time you spent together.
I went to my first gaming convention when I was fifteen and felt not unlike the ugly duckling who found the swans that he belonged with, except possibly in reverse.
As I closed the door on my apartment for the last time, I realized that any love I've had for a person pales in comparison to the love I have for that place.
I wrote a note to him in binary saying I thought I loved him.
We met because he'd hit me in the back of the head with his trombone slide.
Cheating on my boyfriend with a gorgeous French man wasn't all it was cut out to be.
In a move of classic "girlyism," I Googled wedding photographers in your hometown, just in case.
When my wife's only comment to my former mistress was "Thanks for taking care of him while I was away," I knew that I would never again be unfaithful .
And after I confessed my love for him, he stated that he was flattered and we changed the subject.
I don't care if your last name is a word for a genital condition, I still love every little thing about you.
I would have never have met my true love if it weren't for my sudden desire to plant turnips.
As my father passed by the closet, I prayed she wouldn't sneeze.
Seventeen years later, I fell in love with the man who, when he was twenty and I was five, would let me come to his apartment to play Super Mario Brothers while my parents grocery-shopped.
She started the conversation with "I think you should date other women," and ended it with "Yes, I'll marry you."
When I got back the textbook I loaned him, I flipped through every page hoping for a love note hidden in the margins.
As I skidded on a trail of pee on the hardwood floor, I realized I couldn't be with the one I love because I hate his dog.
I was ecstatic to see my husband NOT pour himself a drink when he got home from work.
Until I heard the words "Yes, her name is Lane," I didn't know his infidelity would hurt me so much.
The day after prom of this year, I found out that I was the only person out of all my friends that was still a virgin.
I blew out my knee making love to my fiance a week before I had to go to the recruiters office.
The most romantic moment of my life ended with the word "boner."
He sat down next to me in the second row and taught me how to play Go in Latin class.
It was clear when he gave me his dog tag that it wasn't just about sex anymore.
"Why don't you ever get anything done around here?" she asked me after I spent two hours watching her watch TV and play on her computer, while I did the taxes and fetched her drinks, cigarettes, and snacks.
Because he killed himself, I was able to fall in love.
I've been watching all the movies you wanted me to see when we were together.
My ex-girlfriend is engaged to my boyfriend's twin brother.
I think my mom would be surprised to hear that my boyfriend of almost 1 year and I haven't had sex yet, even though we've slept in the same bed many times.
I'm ninety-six pounds and my boyfriend won't let me eat cake.
My boyfriend's mother looked longingly at her niece's pregnant belly and sighed heavily before casting a sideways glance in my direction.
Had I known it would've been our last night together I wouldn't have cancelled our date.
I asked her to tell me what the song meant, but a few weeks later she showed me.
I just told my boyfriend of three years that I am leaving him for the alluring woman downstairs.
He asked me if I would still file his taxes for him after I told him I didn't think I loved him anymore.
I missed my girlfriend so much that I racked up 4,000 minutes of talk time on my cell phone that month.
When I tell people I'll be getting married at 22, they look at me as if they expected me to be more intelligent than that.
He said "Do you think you could help me with this riddle?" as he smiled and took my hand.
I was wondering about my sexuality, but when she smiled at me, I started planning how I was going to come out to my mom.
I was 14 when I grasped my fathers lifeless hand and realized I didn't hate him after all.
If you thought getting dumped in a text was bad, I just learned he ended our relationship through Facebook.
It was only after I shattered the chocolate heart that I wondered if allegories worked outside of literary works.
I was sure my face was going into the toilet, but then he caught me and my heart at the same time.
I told my husband I wanted a new, simple wedding band because the 1.3c diamond I wear is not a symbol of our love but of my greed.
I've had a crush on him for nine years and last night he finally kissed me.
As I opened the hotel room door to go meet him in the lobby, I knew that at that precise moment I was about to ruin my marriage.
With all the tags for "college" I finally feel connected to my age group.
Our hug may have only lasted for ten seconds, but my smile has lasted for weeks.
Though I glared at her when she took my phone from me, I now see she was merely insuring I wouldn't call someone and make myself seem like a giggly drunken idiot.
On her deathbed, she reached for my hand despite not knowing exactly who I was and with a thin but honest smile, asked, "However did you escape?"
Mom and Dad were separated prematurely as teenagers by her father, and it took a lifetime, several marriages and children for them to find each other again and be happy.
"You're way, way over-dramatic," was what the text read.
I started to have a panic attack about not really being in love with him anymore, but I still continued to make our wedding registry.
Sadly, my 6 year old son has a love life that outruns mine by light years.
The girls are all grown up and now my husband is my boyfriend again.
Lots of things remind me of you, like paper-cuts, couples fighting in the supermarket, and oil spills.
It's been over a year and sometimes I still read his love letters like it's the first time I've ever read them.
He wouldn't let me kill myself the night he told me he didn't love me, but he never called after that to see if I was still alive.
When I thought of how much my friend has done for his girlfriend, I realized how ugly Helen of Troy must have been that there was only a war because of her.
She thought I was looking at myself in the mirror, but I was actually flirting with another girl from across the room whose ass and eyes I caught in the reflection.
As his favorite song played on my mp3 player, I realized why he tried to kill himself.
Eyeing the intriguingly attractive girl in line, it took me a moment to remember that it's almost impossible to find lesbians in birth control clinics.
"Staying together for the kids" gained a whole new meaning last night.
During the 90 minutes he was in our arms, his mother and I loved him a lifetime.
In less than 24 hours, I found out he constantly dropped ecstasy, cheated on me by sleeping with his cousin's 15 year old best friend, fooled around with his best friend's sister, and that everything I knew in this world from the man I was ready to marry was a lie.
Every one of my many heartbreaks could have been avoided had you not waited until I was 32 to tell me you loved me.
I look at the food longingly as my stomach grumbles, knowing that he's controlled me for so long that the only thing I have control over in my life is the food I put into my mouth.
It was the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, when I wished for him to love me... if wishing on 11:11 ever worked it should've worked extra that morning.
I don't think he's noticed, but when I'm mad at him I don't wear his shirt to bed.
Even though it's been ten years and I'm visiting a town 100 miles away from where she lives now, I look at everyone passing by, hoping I'll see her.
The first time I saw her put maple syrup on her popcorn I knew I loved her.
His face turned a deep shade of red when his friend thought he had informed me of his buddy's hickie, when I was very aware it was from myself.
I was never able to kiss her goodbye because all of the little girls would have laughed at us.
I know I have nothing to worry about, but I still deleted her messages on his myspace.
My love for him deepened significantly when he offered to cosign my student loans.
Golf Widow makes me sad because she doesn't realize that every woman is a sister.
Hearing that she got engaged over the weekend, I decided it was time for me to stop regretting not kissing her that night six years ago and for her to start.
The girl I've had a crush on for six years asked me for advice and I told her to stay with her boyfriend because I knew that would make her happy.
I would've gone easier on him if I had realized he joined the fencing class for me.
I'm convinced that if I had just asked her to prom she wouldn't have moved away and we would be together.
To calm myself down, before I closed my eyes that night I said to myself, "You love him, he loves you, and that's all that really matters."
After just two months, I want to marry her but I still haven't even told her that I love her.
It's not particularly motivating when you're trying to write out how you feel about her, only to have iTunes find every song about failed love on your computer and play them in uncanny succession.
"Ya, 'sall good man," is not an appropriate response to a declaration of affection.
I find it ironic that each night I drive home to you, I pass the exit of the man you left me for.
When I called my friend after her husband died, I didn't think that she would end up consoling me.
During that five minute conversation, he gave me fourteen "I'm so sorry"s, seven "I'll never do it again"s, and three "What can I do to make it up to you?"s, and I gave him about nine sarcastic "mhm"s.
I took down the pictures of her, carefully looking at only the corners.
It was the third morning in a row she had awoken from the same dream and knew, as she looked at her boyfriend sleeping next to her, that dreaming about another guy shouldn't have felt so right.
The girls always told me that I was persuasive, and then one told me it was just because I was a stuffed bear disguised as a boy.
It was only after adopting a cat that I realized I was more of a dog lover at heart.
He would kiss my forehead and move my hair from my eyes in a way that will be forever with me even though he is gone.
I can finally relate to the song "Summer Lovin," from Grease thanks to Captain Steve.
After three years of waiting, I never imagined how incredible that first kiss would be.
The next morning she told me she was married, and I told her that I was in her geography class 8 years ago.
The first time a boy told me he loved me, I laughed and said, "No, you don't."
I'm still trying to work out whether "I want to say I love you but that's too heavy" is the same as "I love you."
Rod Stewart and I are the only two people who have ever felt this way.
I hate when you make references to our past casual affair because I fucking miss you and because it makes me want to kick you in the teeth.
Sitting at the table, I begged to be told the answer I already knew, but didn't want to hear.
When you broke up with me, all I could remember was how her kisses always left a bad taste in my mouth.
The minute you walked away, I knew you weren't a man.
I've found that writing code to impress a girl works no better now than it did when I lived in my mother's basement.
I met the love of my life not on the subway or in a bar, but in my bowling class.
I knew we were destined to fall in love when she told me she too was a big fan of zombie movies.
Instead of a birthday, I got a "found naked pictures of his female online friends on our computer"-day.
Night after night I stare at my phone in anticipation until I realize you're too busy doing blow in strange people's houses to bother with me.
He knows to keep an eye on my hands, as the length of my finger nails is in direct proportion to how content I am with my life.
When she died, I cried not because I would miss her every day for the rest of my life, but because there was no one left in the world who loved me.
The night that he didn't come home was the night that I knew the ring on my finger meant nothing.
I had an affair with my junior high school teacher and after that I was celibate for almost 30 years.
I had been crying for hours, so I felt a little silly when the moment he told me he was on his way right over, I stopped.
My girlfriend went away to Hawaii and broke up with me over the phone, so I'm keeping her comforter.
She walked into the room and coherency decided to step outside for a smoke break.
My boyfriend would flip if he knew that my best friend "Kelly" who I visit on the weekends is really my best friend Kevin.
I wanted to tell her I loved her, but complimented her butt instead.
I'm engaged at an age that is far too young for my family's acceptance, but by this age my mother had 2 kids, so I think they can get over it.
I can convince myself of anything, but it's a stretch to think that it's not cheating just because I'm no longer screwing you.
Perhaps it was karmic retribution that in rising to hug my father goodbye, my kneecap dislocated, and I never got that hug.
When I told my husband we needed to go to WoWA (World of Warcraft Anonymous), he asked me if the website had good cheat codes.
I laughed when he tried to send a text message to her because I secretly changed her phone number when he wasn't looking.
Even though I love him, I close my eyes and pretend I'm already asleep when he gets into bed.
World of Warcraft led to the end of our relationship, but has now become a healthy part of it.
I knew I was in love with him the night he gave me a ride because I was too drunk to drive myself home to my husband.
If I would have known inviting you into my bedroom would make you turn the invitations to the rest of my rooms down, I wouldn't have been so hospitable.
He knew I didn't love him anymore when I turned away to sleep after sex instead of letting him hold me.
I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible to fall in love with someone you've never met in person and you've only been talking to online for a month, but I know that I can't wait til he gets back from Iraq.
I only flirted with him so much because I knew that you were in the corner, watching me over her shoulder.
I got back together with my unfaithful wife when my online lovers decided they didn't want to be in a family with me after all.
When you asked how I got the poison ivy on my back, I didn't have the heart to tell you it was from rolling around in the grass with my new boyfriend.
I was developing photos of a party my ex-girlfriend's father had hosted when it occurred to me that if she died, no one would tell me.
I was about to pick up the phone to call him when it rang.
I fell in love with a German tourist on a bus and although I don't remember his name and know I'll never see him again, I always hope he remember me too.
She made me feel the best I ever had one year ago exactly and today she managed to take it all back with four little words, "I never loved you."
As I stood in the eternal checkout line, the first 12 seconds of "Grease is the Word" skipping endlessly over the sound system, I realized the pretend boyfriend I was describing to the crazy bag lady was you.
My boyfriend has figured out that the "insomnia" I suffer from when I stay at my own place is actually just "unwillingness to go to bed alone."
As I stood outside watching my breath merge with the cold air and starlight, I realized that he will never need me as much as I need him to need me.
Your hand on the small of my back as we left the diner was better than any kiss I've ever had.
Hearing that a woman would choose a hobo over her husband made me truly think that anything is possible.
I knew I was out of my league when she used 'summer' as a verb.
Having everyone on the floor of his dormitory know exactly what we're doing for the next few hours is worth avoiding any more awkward intrusions.
I should have known the second time around that "you don't want to know" preceeds devastatingly bad news about the girl you thought you knew.
Everybody always asks of us if we're dating, and it's the worst feeling in the world when I have to tell them no.
While on some level I regret reading her diary, knowing its contents saved me from many years of great unhappiness.
I never thought I could hold a long-term relationship, but here I am, two years later, with butterflies still in my stomach.
We've been chatting for more than 3 years now, yet in the back of my mind I always think of the posibility that he could be an internet pedophile.
I love my cars so much I run them into other objects so I never have to share.
The first day I saw him face-to-face was the day I lost my wallet and sat in chewing gum.
I counted every single day of our relationship, then one day I realized I had been counting down all along.
When I looked over at him sleeping, half-naked, next to me, my only wish was that he was happy where we were, because I was going no further.
Why is it that when I turn 20, it's only 16 year-olds that hit on me?
As I wiped the dried blood from his hands, I couldn't know that I would never see him again.
When she couldn't stare me in the eye's while saying her vows, I knew then, I loved the wrong one.
During my final exam, I plan to ask my girlfriend/professor to marry me.
I take sip of sweet icy coffee, look at him across the table as the cool autumn wind caresses my hair and for a moment find peace.
There's a lunch table at our school named Alowischuss, and everyone loves him.
When we found his body, only his lower half stuck out of the ground so it looked like the earth was eating him.
As he kissed me good night, his mouth tasting of coffee, I realized it was the best date I would ever have.
The one thing I thought I had enough of turned out to be my addiction.
Maybe I was wrong, but your "I love you" felt more heartfelt when you thought I was addicted.
When I answered the phone to her crying, she didn't even have to tell me that her mother thought the difference between 17 and 21 was a little too large.
When I asked the cat to let us know he was ok, my husband gave me the look, but the next morning he admitted that the cat woke him by walking on his pillow.
As I waited for the train to arrive, tears rolling down my cheeks in the freezing cold, I felt the dreams of a life with the only man I ever loved exploding over and over again like a re-run of some tragedy on TV.
How can a 30 second interaction with a stranger last forever in my memory?
I didn't expect myself to survive to see the two year anniversary of the day they told me it had been a single bottle of pills that took her away.
I was driving to my night class in my beat-up red jeep and the memory of how he held me last night sent a chill down my spine that had nothing to do with being cold.
Last night, on our second date, I came to the conclusion that you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I tried, once, to tell you to be my boyfriend, but then you asked me, "How?"
I hated him for years for being an arrogant bastard and dreamed of killing him, but all my anger just melted away when I learned he was dying for real.
You think I can't track your lies, but what you haven't realized is that I've been reading all your emails ever since we split up.
Despite our height difference, we found he can still comfortably kiss me goodnight if I stand on the third stair up at the front door.
Falling in love with a homophobe was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done.
I'd never have guessed the girl I didn't know sitting to my right at the baseball game would become the love of my life and the woman of my dreams.
And there she left me clueless, on the eve of her mother's wedding day.
When my best friend and the love of my life were both taken into police custody for the same crime, the saddest part was admitting to myself I knew who had done it.
As I leaned to kiss her on the cheek, she decided the lips would be better, and my heart stopped mid-beat.
After I post this, I'm going to go tell the girl that I love, my best friend, that I never want to see her again because she can't love me back.
Friends are there for you no matter what, unless they sleep with your boyfriend.
She tore out my heart, yet still on Christmas morning I received a cheerful message from her as if nothing had happened.
When she asked today if I love him, I replied with "yes."
I told him that I would have become a citizen of Iran for him and then I changed my mind.
I was looking for red wallpaper the day I got the idea for a remote controlled toilet.
On Sunday morning when I woke up I didn't have a dog, but by Sunday afternoon I was chasing ducks in the park with Zeus.
The car was packed and loaded, and with tears in my eyes I hugged my son and said goodbye.
Even though I'm 99.9% sure he'll break my heart, the 0.1% chance he won't keeps me from leaving.
She tried to touch my lips as I sat stoned on the kitchen floor, but I kissed her hair instead, and left her for the cooler.
We stood there in the rain and the look on his face as the police came rushing in made me realize I was never going to see him again.
She is a socialist and she is shorter than I am, but I wake up at night sometimes because my heart pumps too hard when I dream about kissing her.
I slept with your pillow every night while you were gone because it smelled like you, but now... it smells like me.
Ever notice how a specific type of person never turns you on until you have a crush on that specific type of person?
"If you think that will help," I said blankly, and with those words, I planted the seeds for two years of mourning.
If I wasn't depressed, I wouldn't have fallen for you, but I was, and I did, and I'm sorry for what's about to happen.
Sometimes I wish that my best friend would die so me and her mom could be closer.
I was successfully hiding from you the fading hickies he'd given me... until you unraveled my scarf to rub my neck.
When I was 5, I was in love with a kid who thought he was Spiderman.
They day I realized we might not be together forever was the day she asked me out on a date, and the day I made the hardest decision I've ever made.
We'd been best friends for over 18 years, and then he kissed me.
It's been almost four years, and I still cant forget her smile as she walked away without a goodbye.
The worst thing about secret girlfriends is that when they get hit by cars you're not supposed to cry.
I'm still not sure which part of that night made me fall in love with her, the conversation or seeing her topless.
No matter what happens to me I will never be able to escape the haunting incorrigible realization that my first boyfriend never touched his lips to mine in that lusted display of affection known as a kiss.
I hated her, but now when she accuses me of it, I feel my chest ache with love, and I realize I've ruined something fragile from the beginning.
I was overjoyed when I heard that he broke up with the love of his life, because that meant maybe I had a chance to take her place.
When I told her that her friend thinks I am cheating on her, she laughed at me saying "She really knows nothing about the two of us."
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you realize you weren't really paranoid after all.
Except for the drool, poop, and hair loss, my dog is the greatest friend I've had.
My brother bet me $5 that you and I would grow old together, and two days later when you broke up with me I bought five boxes of the most bittersweet twinkies I have ever eaten in my life.
I had five years to tell her I loved her, but I could only do it once I lived 300 miles away.
My wife and I promise each other that our love for one another will always come first, but now that our daughter is actually here we both know we're lying when we say it.
You could have bought me a first class trip around the world, but it wouldn't have meant as much as your hand on my neck did last night.
I should be sleeping, but I keep thinkig about all of the things I need to do, should have done, and about how I don't want to screw everything up.
As we were sitting there early on the morning of prom, she got out of my car and my heart hurt as I desperately tried to build up the courage to kiss her.
I only joined the climbing club because I wanted a reason to talk to her, but really I'm scared of heights.
My lover told me that she was drunk and wouldn't talk to me because of that, so I went to get drunk myself.
I once loved a girl more then anything in the world, and then she started drinking.
Her eyes locked with mine and I felt sick with happy nausea, but she looked away without a smile.
He promised, with all his heart, to call her tomorrow, which bought him another 24 hours every time he woke up.
I'm in love with a beautiful pregnant woman who is not my wife.
Three years of memories flooded my head and I gripped the couch while she drunkenly flirted with him all night, right in front of me, before I stormed out forever.
Christmas will be hard this year with two girlfriends.
It was the first movie I went to see but never saw, heard but never listened to and came out smiling without knowing the ending.
It was wrong when I fell in love with my sexy cousin, but it was gross when I found out she was actually my sister.
I saw her that night, shrouded in snow and said "hi" for that first time.
Even though she very nearly destroyed me when she dumped me without a word, twenty three years later I let her do it again.
I thought we had a connection, instead, I realized I loved my boyfriend after all.
My first love left town with her mum and dad without telling me and I cried.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about how things could've been between us if we hadn't gotten there too late.
I threw away a opportunity because I was scared, now I'm scared I will never have an opportunity.
I stood inbetween them feeling uncomfortable and thought, "Because of these two boys, I have to always watch what I say fearing I might accidently lead either of them on."
As he was telling me over the phone that he didn't know me I came to the sinking realization that I couldn't live without him anymore.
His arrogance was as potent as my pride, but I would never have told him so, had he not kissed me first.
I got up the nerve to tell her I thought she was beautiful, and her reply was, "That's so sweet... but I'm married."
My heart in my throat, I watched as that second blue line started to materialise before my eyes and I realised, this is it - the moment that would change everything I ever imagined the rest of my life to be.
I chose him over seven other boys, and then realised he's the only one who would ever cheat.
He asked me if I would marry him, and it was then, the second I said yes, I knew that he was not the love of my life.
I may have just made the biggest mistake of my young life, but she doesn't know that yet.
When I told her I forgave her I had no idea how hard it would be not to hate her for sleeping with my cousin who had been molested by his mother.
And as the fight ended, we realized that we have never fought about anything with even the slightest bit of significance.
It's been 6 months since I fell in love with my boyfriend and only now did I realize just how much he really hates me.
I waited two years for a chance with her, but in the end it was she who took the chance with me.
"I was waiting for you," she said, and for an instant I wasn't alone.
In just those four words written on a brightly glowing computer screen, I realised that I'd lost the ability to trust anybody ever again.
It's been 12 years, 4 months, and 23 days since our first kiss on his best friend's front porch, and I just discovered that he married someone else.
I watched the sun rise thinking of her; sighed and walked to work, breathing easier for a change.
When I told him how I beat the hell out of a guy in a fight earlier that week, what I was really saying was "Stay away from my girlfriend, neither of us like you, you creepy fuck."
Seven years later is love still unrequited when he whispers, "I've been in love with you for years" on the cold steps of a bowling alley?
I want to hold her to stop her tears, but I know my girlfriend would not appreciate that.
"My brother died" was all she said, and in that one instant, all I wanted was for us to be 19 again, and unaware of the gut wrenching pain I would feel for her 10 years later.
It was only when he gave me a foot massage, me with the phobia regarding contact with my toes, that I realized just how much I love this man.
My first love ended with calling each other sluts and never speaking to each other again.
It wasn't the sex that proved she loved me, it was the first time she slept with me without having sex that I knew she would be the one.
The day I met my girlfriend I told my cousin "I think I could marry this chic".
I used to pray every month for my period to come, but recently I've started hoping it wouldn't.
As Katrina's waters rose, this became clear: how you loved and lived your life BEFORE the storm came - that determined, to a large extent, how well you survived AFTER it passed.
I wondered why I was having trouble grieving the death of my mother when the counselor figured out I had not grieved the death of HER mother only 12 years earlier.
After years of pursuing men and boys, I've discovered it's easiest to fall for one you know will never like you back, simply because he doesn't know.
When I realized that nothing was absolute, I stopped looking for true love and figured that beyond a reasonable doubt would be just fine.
Watching him, I realize he is the only reason I live, and that I am watching him die.
I'm happily married with a family, but I still pine for the girl who died in high school.
For nineteen years, five hours and six minutes, I've loved a man I could never be with.
I now work for the TV production company who produced the programme on which I met my wife.
His big round eyes welled up with tears and the look of disappointment and sadness that comes from an innocent child betrayed made me wish that the slap was a million times on my face.
When she said "We need to sit down and talk about this," I was just as scared as when I handed her the love letter.
She breezed into my technology class, late and toting a beige shoulder bag, and I knew that some time later she was going to be the most wonderful thing in my life.
I once truly fell in love with an unseen friend-- who refused to meet me in real life, who became the object of my every desire, my muse, the reason I walked this planet-- with every cell of my heart.
He longed for me for four years in high school and then forgot; I avoided him for four years in high school and then obsessed for ten about what could have been.
when i told him i liked him, i worried it would be the end of our friendship, but instead it was the beginning of something so much more wonderful.
I couldn't bear to tell the girl I loved that I was only dreaming and that she was merely a figment of my imagination, so I kissed her, and as the world lost its color, I slowly woke up.
I loved a girl, but she died before I figured it out.
When I said to her "do with me what you will," I didn't think she'd go so far.
I know that the next time I see him, the world will stop around us as we embrace.
My friend Bob loved his vinyl records so much that he used to obsess about which ones to save if his house caught fire but when it actually happened he chose his girlfriend instead.
I was with her for eleven years, the last three of which she was sleeping with the neurologist who would give her two beautiful daughters.
She found out about the public reading of her love letter and she dumped him, but it was she who four years later taught him to read for himself.
We were in bed one day and he told me that I was more fun than a game of Magic "sometimes."
I guess that now he knows what it feels like to tell the person that you're cheating on that you love them.
He was the one who hugged me, asked for a photo with me, danced with me, kissed me - and now I'm the one pursuing him.
It wasn't supposed to turn out like this, with him, but it did and now my entire world has been turned upside down.
I wanted to tell him I loved him too but all I could do was kiss him.
I really like her and her hug was more real than her boyfriend would have liked.
He told me that he hates himself, so I told him that I love him.
Once I got drunk and told a good friend, who had a boyfriend, that I loved her.
I've loved a boy with every single operating system, so I should have known it was meant to be when he showed me the OS2 startup screen in his dorm room, but it took me 10 more years and OS X to figure it out.
"It'll never work," he said -- the friend who gave me confidence, courage and class -- but, three years later, I'm marrying her, and I'm the happiest man alive.
My entire month was spent waiting for him to say "I'm sorry but I like her better".
Even five years later, we still talk once in a while that reminds me of how I thought I was in love with her even though we had missed our chance that summer in high school.
As I drove home the knot in my stomach swelled to the size of a small sun, but when I walked in the house I saw she had called and I no longer felt alone.