mmmhhm
Today I learned when my mom describes me to strangers, she uses the words, "My daughter is tall, has dark hair, and has small breasts."
2012-01-19 16:50:45 / Rating: 85 / 
Story archives - tag: "mom"
Megan
I just walked in on my mom and neighbor smoking pot and felt so uncool.
2011-09-30 09:27:06 / Rating: 148.5 /
becks
My mom thought I was pregnant when I sat down to talk with her, then gave a sigh of relief when I told her I'm gay.
2011-07-15 10:31:23 / Rating: 462 /
Hoff
While everyone else threw their caps in the air for graduation, I sat and worried that my mom wouldn't still be alive when I got back to the hospital.
2011-06-02 14:17:05 / Rating: 359 /
Katie
I later was told by his mom that they had gotten the marriage license during lunch, before he texted me and told me it was over.
2011-05-26 14:58:52 / Rating: 250.25 /
Dmac9000
I learned to write on my own but my mom taught me how to type.
2010-10-19 15:18:09 / Rating: 145.5 /
Angie
My mom joked, "Tell the interviewer, 'I love children, especially with noodles!'"
2010-09-16 14:26:04 / Rating: 277.5 /
J
As my mom drove away, after backing into the corner of our fenced in yard with our 15-passenger van, she yelled at us, "FIX THE FENCE!"
2010-06-08 11:42:09 / Rating: 295.25 /
miss milwaukee's nameless
After sighing and telling her how much I missed my Grandmother, my mom laughed and said, "She hated you."
2010-05-18 16:02:17 / Rating: 420 /
Crazy
I'll never forget the day my mom turned to me out of the blue and informed me, "When I die, I want everyone to dress as clowns at my funeral."
2010-03-23 16:14:06 / Rating: 625.75 /
cg
On my very first camping trip, I learned that if I drop a dead caterpillar in my mom's coffee, she will not only not get mad at me, but she will also still drink the coffee.
2009-09-21 11:54:58 / Rating: 357.75 /
really, mom?
Today, I got a priority mail package from my mother containing Aleve, two pairs of underwear, socks, and a $10 bill.
2009-04-19 21:37:29 / Rating: 391.75 /
jerk
Before I even finished my sentence, I realized that this was the second time I'd made a "your mom" joke to her since her mom died.
2009-03-10 11:12:02 / Rating: 357.5 /
Djagurl
I hated my mom for selling our house, a little because I grew up there, but mostly because all of my pets were buried there, and the new people wouldn't care.
2009-01-26 09:34:40 / Rating: 470 /
CJ
When I was little, my mom told me that the bottom of the pool smelled really good.
2008-12-12 09:17:51 / Rating: 587 /
elle
I couldn't figure out why my boyfriend didn't like me to kiss his ears until I realized his mother is an ears-nose-throat nurse.
2008-12-09 09:57:01 / Rating: 287.5 /
Eddie
My mom always joked that I could get a tattoo if it said, "I love Mom," so I made her hold my hand when I got it.
2008-11-21 16:07:54 / Rating: 653 /
fancy spatula
Every surface of my home is covered in dog hair, and it serves two purposes: it reminds me of how much I enjoy sharing my life with my dogs and it deters my mother from visiting unannounced.
2008-10-30 17:19:24 / Rating: 379.75 /
Koriar
All the growling and screaming in the world will never sound as horrible as the gurgling sound made by my mother's last breath.
2008-10-17 16:11:03 / Rating: 449.5 /
Traumatized
As soon as I heard my father ask 'Why is the toilet seat in bed with her?' that morning, I kicked myself for not checking on my sickly mother the night before.
2008-10-13 16:21:24 / Rating: 311 /
Charlie
My sister tells me she watched our mom cry when I came out as gay to which I reply that I watched our mom cry when she ran away, stole the car, and got mom arrested.
2008-08-04 17:11:13 / Rating: 586 /
Marley
The last time mom called me out of the blue, she told me she had lung cancer.
2008-07-07 10:36:17 / Rating: 388 /
lines
Today you shaved your hair into a mohawk to make my mom laugh over losing hers to chemo and today I realized that you are my hero.
2008-06-06 17:06:53 / Rating: 3972.5 /
Angie
After I told her about the online game I was playing, my mom sent me an email saying, "Sorry you missed your raid."
2008-05-05 10:12:55 / Rating: 416.75 /
In Love
I think my mom would be surprised to hear that my boyfriend of almost 1 year and I haven't had sex yet, even though we've slept in the same bed many times.
2008-04-02 13:54:30 / Rating: 658.25 /
Ashley
It's 10:30 pm on a Saturday night, and I get a text from my mom: "Will you pimp my MySpace?"
2008-03-25 10:52:21 / Rating: 686.5 /
Tag
I gave my mother mono because I secretly drank out of the cartoon of orange juice and put it back in the fridge.
2008-02-05 10:36:16 / Rating: 401.75 /
Ryan
My Mom went to a peace rally and then voted for Bush.
2008-01-16 14:19:59 / Rating: 385.75 /
Tracy137
Your husband never noticing you've had your hair done is bad enough, but my dad didn't notice when my mum broke her leg and had it in plaster.
2007-05-14 13:32:41 / Rating: 444.75 /
Miss.NoName
Sometimes I wish that my best friend would die so me and her mom could be closer.
2006-11-13 18:06:50 / Rating: 548 /