Story archives - tag: "mom"


One day when I was four years old I started screaming and crying at the Dippin Dots stand because my mom told me I couldn't get any, so the guy just gave me some for free.

tags: humor irony childhood yummy dippin dots mom crying [add]

2013-08-07 21:29:16 / Rating: 259.75 /


Five years and five phones later, I still add your number every time.

tags: mom death grief holding on [add]

2012-07-23 15:05:01 / Rating: 978.5 /


Today I learned when my mom describes me to strangers, she uses the words, "My daughter is tall, has dark hair, and has small breasts."

tags: tatas mom humiliation [add]

2012-01-19 16:50:45 / Rating: 344.5 /


I just walked in on my mom and neighbor smoking pot and felt so uncool.

tags: humor pot weed mom neighbor don't do drugs uncool opposite of cool [add]

2011-09-30 09:27:06 / Rating: 411.5 /


My mom thought I was pregnant when I sat down to talk with her, then gave a sigh of relief when I told her I'm gay.

tags: coming out gay mom humor [add]

2011-07-15 10:31:23 / Rating: 834.75 /


While everyone else threw their caps in the air for graduation, I sat and worried that my mom wouldn't still be alive when I got back to the hospital.

tags: high school graduation mom death sickness illness hospital [add]

2011-06-02 14:17:05 / Rating: 684.5 /


I later was told by his mom that they had gotten the marriage license during lunch, before he texted me and told me it was over.

tags: relationships mom break-ups [add]

2011-05-26 14:58:52 / Rating: 498.5 /


I learned to write on my own but my mom taught me how to type.

tags: write type mom [add]

2010-10-19 15:18:09 / Rating: 345.5 /


My mom joked, "Tell the interviewer, 'I love children, especially with noodles!'"

tags: humor mom mother children job interview [add]

2010-09-16 14:26:04 / Rating: 538.75 /


As my mom drove away, after backing into the corner of our fenced in yard with our 15-passenger van, she yelled at us, "FIX THE FENCE!"

tags: humor crash mom mothers mother driving fence fences fix van yelling yelled driving drove corner [add]

2010-06-08 11:42:09 / Rating: 590.25 /

miss milwaukee's nameless

After sighing and telling her how much I missed my Grandmother, my mom laughed and said, "She hated you."

tags: grandma mom wow thanks [add]

2010-05-18 16:02:17 / Rating: 609.25 /


I'll never forget the day my mom turned to me out of the blue and informed me, "When I die, I want everyone to dress as clowns at my funeral."

tags: funeral humor clowns mom [add]

2010-03-23 16:14:06 / Rating: 893 /


On my very first camping trip, I learned that if I drop a dead caterpillar in my mom's coffee, she will not only not get mad at me, but she will also still drink the coffee.

tags: humor mistake childhood mom [add]

2009-09-21 11:54:58 / Rating: 647.5 /

really, mom?

Today, I got a priority mail package from my mother containing Aleve, two pairs of underwear, socks, and a $10 bill.

tags: mom mail random [add]

2009-04-19 21:37:29 / Rating: 586 /


Before I even finished my sentence, I realized that this was the second time I'd made a "your mom" joke to her since her mom died.

tags: thoughtlessness insensitivity mom death [add]

2009-03-10 11:12:02 / Rating: 571.75 /


I hated my mom for selling our house, a little because I grew up there, but mostly because all of my pets were buried there, and the new people wouldn't care.

tags: pets childhood mom [add]

2009-01-26 09:34:40 / Rating: 796 /


When I was little, my mom told me that the bottom of the pool smelled really good.

tags: mom pool humor [add]

2008-12-12 09:17:51 / Rating: 809.25 /


I couldn't figure out why my boyfriend didn't like me to kiss his ears until I realized his mother is an ears-nose-throat nurse.

tags: boyfriend ears mom nurse [add]

2008-12-09 09:57:01 / Rating: 472.5 /


My mom always joked that I could get a tattoo if it said, "I love Mom," so I made her hold my hand when I got it.

tags: mom humor tattoo backfire love [add]

2008-11-21 16:07:54 / Rating: 943.25 /

fancy spatula

Every surface of my home is covered in dog hair, and it serves two purposes: it reminds me of how much I enjoy sharing my life with my dogs and it deters my mother from visiting unannounced.

tags: dogs pets mom OCD [add]

2008-10-30 17:19:24 / Rating: 631.5 /


All the growling and screaming in the world will never sound as horrible as the gurgling sound made by my mother's last breath.

tags: death mom death rattle sound [add]

2008-10-17 16:11:03 / Rating: 651.75 /


As soon as I heard my father ask 'Why is the toilet seat in bed with her?' that morning, I kicked myself for not checking on my sickly mother the night before.

tags: trauma sickness mom fear [add]

2008-10-13 16:21:24 / Rating: 510.25 /


My sister tells me she watched our mom cry when I came out as gay to which I reply that I watched our mom cry when she ran away, stole the car, and got mom arrested.

tags: gay family mom sister [add]

2008-08-04 17:11:13 / Rating: 855 /


The last time mom called me out of the blue, she told me she had lung cancer.

tags: mom cancer scary phone call [add]

2008-07-07 10:36:17 / Rating: 583.75 /


Today you shaved your hair into a mohawk to make my mom laugh over losing hers to chemo and today I realized that you are my hero.

tags: cancer humor mom hair [add]

2008-06-06 17:06:53 / Rating: 4789.5 /


After I told her about the online game I was playing, my mom sent me an email saying, "Sorry you missed your raid."

tags: online games gaming mom [add]

2008-05-05 10:12:55 / Rating: 578.75 /

In Love

I think my mom would be surprised to hear that my boyfriend of almost 1 year and I haven't had sex yet, even though we've slept in the same bed many times.

tags: love sex boyfriend mom [add]

2008-04-02 13:54:30 / Rating: 889.75 /


It's 10:30 pm on a Saturday night, and I get a text from my mom: "Will you pimp my MySpace?"

tags: mom humor myspace [add]

2008-03-25 10:52:21 / Rating: 889.25 /


I gave my mother mono because I secretly drank out of the cartoon of orange juice and put it back in the fridge.

tags: mom humor sick [add]

2008-02-05 10:36:16 / Rating: 595 /


My Mom went to a peace rally and then voted for Bush.

tags: mom confused [add]

2008-01-16 14:19:59 / Rating: 545.5 /


Your husband never noticing you've had your hair done is bad enough, but my dad didn't notice when my mum broke her leg and had it in plaster.

tags: unobservant dad mom [add]

2007-05-14 13:32:41 / Rating: 594.75 /


Sometimes I wish that my best friend would die so me and her mom could be closer.

tags: love hate mom death [add]

2006-11-13 18:06:50 / Rating: 766.75 /