ticosmom
Did I really graduate from nursing school to assist in the emergency removal of a family-sized cold cream jar from a 50 year-old man's rectum?
2008-08-19 14:25:03 / Rating: 108.5 / 
Story archives - tag: "ouch"
raging
I suddenly came out of the blackout when the ER doctor informed me that my tendon was no longer attached to my middle finger.
2008-06-27 14:54:17 / Rating: 68.25 /
josh
35 feet looks a lot less painful than it feels.
2008-06-17 13:20:59 / Rating: 102.5 /
Clsfd Kidd
I lit the gasoline-soaked, freshly-cut branches with a lighter that was about five feet too short.
2008-06-02 13:33:55 / Rating: 85.75 /
Cinnamon Stillwater
I don't know if it was the alcohol, the darkness or the rush to put my clothing back on that made me fall onto the cactus.
2008-04-10 14:56:44 / Rating: 199.75 /
Adam
25 stitches later, I realized my biggest mistake wasn't jumping off the roof but grabbing the gutter on my way down
2008-04-02 13:53:32 / Rating: 144.25 /
Miranda
The greatest sense of accomplishment happens when you walk into an emergency room with an injury, and the Doctor smiles and says, "I don't even want to know."
2008-03-10 10:17:09 / Rating: 320.5 /
that's not good
My girlfriend "play" bit me on the arm so hard that I "not-so-play" struck her in the head before I could stop myself.
2008-01-25 13:17:24 / Rating: 133 /
castineirar
He stood me up, so I beat him up.
2007-12-19 11:08:07 / Rating: 129.5 /
staca
My back tensed in anticipation of pain as I realized that wasn't the shower I just turned off, but the cold water.
2007-12-07 14:58:12 / Rating: 116 /
John
Now that I think about it... the basement fuse panel is a much shorter trip than the ER was.
2007-10-23 11:54:48 / Rating: 140.25 /
Oh man.
I lost a huge chunk of my thumb, which is better than the foot I could have lost had I let it drop.
2007-08-03 15:43:16 / Rating: 123.25 /
Shaniqua
I slammed my finger in the till at work today and told my boyfriend it would definitely have to be amputated at the shoulder.
2007-08-01 12:39:52 / Rating: 146.75 /
ER
Not until I was mid-air did I realize just how far the pool is from the roof.
2007-07-13 09:27:10 / Rating: 285.75 /
too lame to be emo
When he said he didn't think I had it in me, I grabbed my razor just to prove him wrong, and immediately realised that cutting myself fucking HURT and I didn't really want to do that ever again.
2007-06-19 11:07:07 / Rating: 181.25 /
Tori J.
I never thought that a stapler could cause so much pain!
2007-06-05 16:14:08 / Rating: 92 /
D.
I reckon I was about eight, but I completely recall my sister throwing her nail scissors directly into the back of my knee.
2007-05-29 15:58:34 / Rating: 142.5 /
CoreJay
The snow fell of the roof with a heavy thud, just like my poor Uncle Martin did a few winters prior.
2007-04-16 12:43:01 / Rating: 207.25 /
Kate O
Unfortunately, it didn't occur to me to wear sunscreen until it was far too late.
2007-04-03 14:41:09 / Rating: 146 /
It Burns
The regret came not when I chopped chilli for tea but much later on, when I picked my nose.
2007-03-27 17:12:16 / Rating: 249.25 /
James
Just one thing: never let a drunk man try to open a can of lager with a knife.
2007-03-07 09:41:28 / Rating: 166.75 /
Jim Ware
As she bandaged my hands I told her of my new plans for worming the cat.
2006-12-27 11:53:48 / Rating: 235.25 /
TKD
It was when I was being taken to the emergency room with unexplained excruciating back pain that I had just turned thirty.
2006-11-21 09:53:19 / Rating: 118.25 /
KidZero
I didn't know what frightened me more, waking up covered in blood or realizing it was mine.
2006-11-01 16:19:18 / Rating: 188.75 /
KC
I would have caught that deep spiral if it wasn't for that pesky brick wall.
2006-10-31 14:07:59 / Rating: 145 /
Erik
Two stitches and twenty years later, I still don't know why she threw the rock at me, but I'm pretty sure that she was lying when she said, "I was playing hopscotch and missed."
2006-10-18 14:28:22 / Rating: 254 /
Timothy
I hadn't yet dressed as I poured the boiling water over the coffee filter tilting precariously over the rim of a broken pot.
2006-10-11 14:19:21 / Rating: 158 /
Pennyoz
I love tall spikey shoes but I broke my ankle.
2006-10-11 11:25:13 / Rating: 134.5 /
Mae
I fell out of a bus once and broke my arm.
2006-10-10 10:40:27 / Rating: 141 /
Mr.Benn
It was upon the waking with red knuckles and bruises... I realize, I'm addicted.
2006-10-02 16:32:52 / Rating: 160 /
Brian Hurley
I was at a WSU Cougar football game when a 2 inch month flew into my ear canal.
2006-09-04 23:01:13 / Rating: 161.25 /
Dino
He wandered off to get a glass of water, and decided that nothing, not even the wall he tried to walk through, mattered until he did.
2006-08-11 09:33:10 / Rating: 142 /
Darryl
One time, when I was young, I thought I was The Rhino (of Spiderman fame) and put my head through the glass part of our screen door.
2006-08-10 12:38:29 / Rating: 162.25 /
Quilty
After getting punched in the nose I acquired the power to sneeze at will.
2006-06-30 17:11:54 / Rating: 209 /
ryder
when I was five I wanted to climb the wall like Spider-Man, but gashed my big toe on a screw in the wall and bled alot, thinking "I bet this never happened to Spidey."
2006-06-27 17:39:05 / Rating: 158.25 /
Patrick
I didn't wimp out on a pact that Matt and I made to jump off a bridge the night before our high school graduation, and I survived a 35 foot jump into three feet of water with no scratches and one seriously sore coccyx.
2006-06-27 17:37:58 / Rating: 154.25 /
Mike
I broke my shoulder in kindergarten because my friend convinced me that the lawn chairs 4 feet down from the tree house would be ample cushion for me land on.
2006-06-27 17:35:14 / Rating: 181.5 /
vix
One time, when I was four, I stood between the electronic doors at the supermarket waving goodbye to all the departing shoppers when suddenly one of the doors closed on my wrist.
2006-06-27 17:31:27 / Rating: 144.25 /
Stacey
I tend to remember a time when I was DRAGGED into a tree in our backyard.
2006-05-23 09:36:53 / Rating: 145.5 /
Ryan
One time as a child, I was playing Marco Polo in my backyard and walked into a tree.
2006-05-22 17:50:35 / Rating: 173.75 /