Story archives - tag: "ouch"


The happiest moment of my life took place while I was crushed under my 2000lb car, knowing that my boyfriend was completely okay.

tags: wear your seat belt ouch car crash [add]

2012-05-01 08:23:58 / Rating: 616 /


I was hastily packed, and we were off to Argentina - but first, my father fell off the roof and landed directly on our potted cactus.

tags: childhood humor vacation ouch [add]

2010-10-27 10:38:49 / Rating: 468.5 /

room full o' balloons.

Potato peelers do not discriminate between the skin on a cucumber and the skin on my fingers.

tags: ouch kitchen peeling cucumber humor [add]

2010-09-13 15:11:20 / Rating: 364.75 /


It wasn't until after I had gotten the worst sunburn of my life that I found my sunscreen.

tags: pain ouch sunburn [add]

2010-08-31 12:11:13 / Rating: 309.5 /


That's when I realized it probably wasn't a good idea to eat a lollipop while dancing in the shower.

tags: candy lots of blood shower ouch [add]

2010-08-17 14:36:18 / Rating: 392.5 /


No one believes me when I tell them my boyfriend's mom broke her foot playing solitaire, even though its completely true.

tags: humor solitaire family ouch [add]

2010-07-21 14:25:40 / Rating: 502.25 /

Get Dangerous

I broke his ukulele, so he broke my jaw.

tags: ukulele ouch [add]

2010-04-20 14:36:57 / Rating: 454.25 /


My bathroom is too small for dancing.

tags: ouch cramped broken toe [add]

2010-01-04 10:57:13 / Rating: 548.5 /


Waking up in the ER with someone cutting your clothes off, a broken femur, and other injuries from a head on collison you don't remember, is not the best way to spend your Christmas Eve.

tags: ouch head on Christmas Eve femur break [add]

2009-03-06 13:26:29 / Rating: 354.75 /


I once played DanceDanceRevolution for 4 hours straight then jumped off a balcony into a pool, only to almost drown because the muscles in both my legs stopped working the moment I hit the water.

tags: humor ouch irony [add]

2009-01-09 11:16:39 / Rating: 616.75 /


One of my most vivid memories as a child was kicking my brothers privates, not because I was mad at him, but because I was curious if the men in the movies really felt the pain.

tags: childhood humor curiousity ouch [add]

2008-10-30 17:17:58 / Rating: 649.25 /


When I was three, I thought my mom's hot curling iron was a popsicle.

tags: humor childhood pain ouch [add]

2008-10-28 12:12:48 / Rating: 687.5 /


Did I really graduate from nursing school to assist in the emergency removal of a family-sized cold cream jar from a 50 year-old man's rectum?

tags: hospitals nursing operations ouch [add]

2008-08-19 14:25:03 / Rating: 566.75 /


I suddenly came out of the blackout when the ER doctor informed me that my tendon was no longer attached to my middle finger.

tags: college ouch finger ER [add]

2008-06-27 14:54:17 / Rating: 535.25 /


35 feet looks a lot less painful than it feels.

tags: stupid kid jumping children ouch [add]

2008-06-17 13:20:59 / Rating: 610.75 /

Clsfd Kidd

I lit the gasoline-soaked, freshly-cut branches with a lighter that was about five feet too short.

tags: humor burns childhood ouch [add]

2008-06-02 13:33:55 / Rating: 589.5 /

Cinnamon Stillwater

I don't know if it was the alcohol, the darkness or the rush to put my clothing back on that made me fall onto the cactus.

tags: ouch skinny dipping humor drunk drinking night [add]

2008-04-10 14:56:44 / Rating: 873.5 /


25 stitches later, I realized my biggest mistake wasn't jumping off the roof but grabbing the gutter on my way down

tags: ouch stitches mistake [add]

2008-04-02 13:53:32 / Rating: 541.75 /


The greatest sense of accomplishment happens when you walk into an emergency room with an injury, and the Doctor smiles and says, "I don't even want to know."

tags: ouch doctors emergency room [add]

2008-03-10 10:17:09 / Rating: 792.75 /

that's not good

My girlfriend "play" bit me on the arm so hard that I "not-so-play" struck her in the head before I could stop myself.

tags: girlfriend bite ouch surprised sorry hit [add]

2008-01-25 13:17:24 / Rating: 610.25 /


He stood me up, so I beat him up.

tags: date ouch [add]

2007-12-19 11:08:07 / Rating: 524.75 /


My back tensed in anticipation of pain as I realized that wasn't the shower I just turned off, but the cold water.

tags: shower pain anticipation ouch [add]

2007-12-07 14:58:12 / Rating: 625.5 /


Now that I think about it... the basement fuse panel is a much shorter trip than the ER was.

tags: ouch oops electricity [add]

2007-10-23 11:54:48 / Rating: 558.25 /

Oh man.

I lost a huge chunk of my thumb, which is better than the foot I could have lost had I let it drop.

tags: toes thumb work ouch [add]

2007-08-03 15:43:16 / Rating: 571.25 /


I slammed my finger in the till at work today and told my boyfriend it would definitely have to be amputated at the shoulder.

tags: ouch humor work boyfriend [add]

2007-08-01 12:39:52 / Rating: 686.5 /


Not until I was mid-air did I realize just how far the pool is from the roof.

tags: ouch pool jump roof [add]

2007-07-13 09:27:10 / Rating: 690.5 /

too lame to be emo

When he said he didn't think I had it in me, I grabbed my razor just to prove him wrong, and immediately realised that cutting myself fucking HURT and I didn't really want to do that ever again.

tags: cutting humor ouch [add]

2007-06-19 11:07:07 / Rating: 635.25 /

Tori J.

I never thought that a stapler could cause so much pain!

tags: heavy duty stapler boo-boo ouch [add]

2007-06-05 16:14:08 / Rating: 388.5 /


I reckon I was about eight, but I completely recall my sister throwing her nail scissors directly into the back of my knee.

tags: childhood ouch sister [add]

2007-05-29 15:58:34 / Rating: 661 /


The snow fell of the roof with a heavy thud, just like my poor Uncle Martin did a few winters prior.

tags: childhood memory snow family ouch falling [add]

2007-04-16 12:43:01 / Rating: 865.5 /

Kate O

Unfortunately, it didn't occur to me to wear sunscreen until it was far too late.

tags: sunburn ouch danger [add]

2007-04-03 14:41:09 / Rating: 496.25 /

It Burns

The regret came not when I chopped chilli for tea but much later on, when I picked my nose.

tags: humor burn food nose ouch tea regret [add]

2007-03-27 17:12:16 / Rating: 849.75 /


Just one thing: never let a drunk man try to open a can of lager with a knife.

tags: injury ouch knife alcohol [add]

2007-03-07 09:41:28 / Rating: 590.5 /

Jim Ware

As she bandaged my hands I told her of my new plans for worming the cat.

tags: humor ouch cat [add]

2006-12-27 11:53:48 / Rating: 697.5 /


It was when I was being taken to the emergency room with unexplained excruciating back pain that I had just turned thirty.

tags: ouch thirty old [add]

2006-11-21 09:53:19 / Rating: 450.5 /


I didn't know what frightened me more, waking up covered in blood or realizing it was mine.

tags: fear ouch sleep discovery [add]

2006-11-01 16:19:18 / Rating: 676 /


I would have caught that deep spiral if it wasn't for that pesky brick wall.

tags: football ouch humor [add]

2006-10-31 14:07:59 / Rating: 578.25 /


Two stitches and twenty years later, I still don't know why she threw the rock at me, but I'm pretty sure that she was lying when she said, "I was playing hopscotch and missed."

tags: humor childhood rock injury hopscotch ouch [add]

2006-10-18 14:28:22 / Rating: 764 /


I hadn't yet dressed as I poured the boiling water over the coffee filter tilting precariously over the rim of a broken pot.

tags: humor mistake ouch [add]

2006-10-11 14:19:21 / Rating: 521.25 /


I love tall spikey shoes but I broke my ankle.

tags: shoes ouch broken bone [add]

2006-10-11 11:25:13 / Rating: 454 /


I fell out of a bus once and broke my arm.

tags: ouch fall bus broken arm [add]

2006-10-10 10:40:27 / Rating: 550.25 /


It was upon the waking with red knuckles and bruises... I realize, I'm addicted.

tags: fighting moshing pain realization ouch [add]

2006-10-02 16:32:52 / Rating: 605.25 /

Brian Hurley

I was at a WSU Cougar football game when a 2 inch month flew into my ear canal.

tags: humor wsu cougars moth ouch [add]

2006-09-04 23:01:13 / Rating: 555.25 /


He wandered off to get a glass of water, and decided that nothing, not even the wall he tried to walk through, mattered until he did.

tags: humor ouch [add]

2006-08-11 09:33:10 / Rating: 486.75 /


One time, when I was young, I thought I was The Rhino (of Spiderman fame) and put my head through the glass part of our screen door.

tags: childhood humor ouch [add]

2006-08-10 12:38:29 / Rating: 614.75 /


After getting punched in the nose I acquired the power to sneeze at will.

tags: ouch punched nose superpowers [add]

2006-06-30 17:11:54 / Rating: 736.25 /


when I was five I wanted to climb the wall like Spider-Man, but gashed my big toe on a screw in the wall and bled alot, thinking "I bet this never happened to Spidey."

tags: ouch childhood superhero [add]

2006-06-27 17:39:05 / Rating: 630.5 /


I didn't wimp out on a pact that Matt and I made to jump off a bridge the night before our high school graduation, and I survived a 35 foot jump into three feet of water with no scratches and one seriously sore coccyx.

tags: ouch jumping teen high school coccyx water [add]

2006-06-27 17:37:58 / Rating: 704.25 /


I broke my shoulder in kindergarten because my friend convinced me that the lawn chairs 4 feet down from the tree house would be ample cushion for me land on.

tags: ouch jumping childhood [add]

2006-06-27 17:35:14 / Rating: 664 /


One time, when I was four, I stood between the electronic doors at the supermarket waving goodbye to all the departing shoppers when suddenly one of the doors closed on my wrist.

tags: ouch childhood supermarket [add]

2006-06-27 17:31:27 / Rating: 608.25 /


I tend to remember a time when I was DRAGGED into a tree in our backyard.

tags: ouch childhood [add]

2006-05-23 09:36:53 / Rating: 593 /


One time as a child, I was playing Marco Polo in my backyard and walked into a tree.

tags: ouch childhood [add]

2006-05-22 17:50:35 / Rating: 592.75 /