Story archives - tag: "parents"


I realized my mother was a bit outdated the moment she asked the poor farm store boy if he had any "nice, healthy cocks."

tags: humor parents [add]

2011-05-11 15:48:57 / Rating: 626.75 /


Three years ago, I vowed to myself that if my father ever hurt my mom like he had hurt me that morning, I'd kill him.

tags: vow parents abuse love role-reversal [add]

2011-02-24 13:13:07 / Rating: 559.25 /


When I came out to my dad, he was majorly pissed that I had found a loophole in the "No boys 'till you're 27" rule.

tags: gay lesbian humor coming out parents [add]

2010-07-14 09:25:06 / Rating: 1157.25 /


A 5'2" mother becomes a very imposing figure when angered while holding a vegetable knife.

tags: humor parents childhood [add]

2010-05-07 15:53:04 / Rating: 542.5 /


Watching my mother lean over my father's coffin to kiss him and tell him goodbye was the most painful moment of my entire life.

tags: grief death parents [add]

2010-03-15 14:36:26 / Rating: 708.25 /

Three years after my mother and her father stopped dating, she added me on facebook.

tags: awkward friendship divorce parents facebook [add]

2010-01-22 09:08:46 / Rating: 351.75 /


The 9-1-1 EMTs arrived after the seven longest minutes of my life.

tags: emergency parents illness mortality [add]

2009-11-30 13:02:31 / Rating: 368 /


As a child, my parents convinced me that when the ice cream truck played its song, it meant the ice cream was finished.

tags: ice cream sad childhood lies parents [add]

2009-11-06 14:25:40 / Rating: 730.5 /


Mom unknowingly ate the mushroom chocolates I left in the fridge after the music festival.

tags: humor music festival parents trip [add]

2009-10-12 12:03:22 / Rating: 623.75 /

Sorry, dad.

After my mother judged me for what she discovered in my anonymous blog, for the first time in my life I understood why my father had left her and I forgave him.

tags: secrets parents forgiveness [add]

2009-09-22 14:24:29 / Rating: 543.25 /

stuck in the middle

I knew the plumber had arrived when I heard my mom laugh in a way she never does with my father.

tags: parents [add]

2009-07-17 11:12:57 / Rating: 368.5 /


I was relieved when my middle-school friend revealed to me that, unlike what my mother had told me, hot dogs were not the penises of pigs.

tags: food pigs humor parents childhood [add]

2009-07-13 16:06:57 / Rating: 675.75 /

Brett Keoki Patton

I believe it was unfair of my parents to put so much pressure on me as a child to make a choice as to what percent of milk I preferred.

tags: childhood milk parents pressure precent [add]

2009-02-02 10:38:54 / Rating: 643 /


We put our clothes back on so fast that if we hadn't hesitated in his room, panicking, his parents might never have found out.

tags: humor sex teenagers parents [add]

2009-01-16 10:56:37 / Rating: 520.75 /


The day my mother told me she wasn't sure what her life purpose was is the day I realized she's more than just my mother, but a human being with hopes and dreams independent of motherhood.

tags: parents [add]

2008-12-08 17:02:43 / Rating: 560.25 /


My liberal views about marijuana use disappeared surprisingly quickly upon finding a baggie full of it in my 15-year-old son's desk drawer.

tags: weed parents drugs [add]

2008-11-13 22:14:12 / Rating: 651.5 /


It always brings a smile to my face when my dad tells large groups of strangers how he once cut himself on Jello.

tags: childhood humor parents jello crazy [add]

2008-09-11 20:02:30 / Rating: 897 /


I'm only 16, so why do I have to be the adult in every situation?

tags: parents friends relationships finances childish adult selfishness [add]

2008-08-26 10:21:44 / Rating: 687.25 /


While cleaning out the closet in my room in the house I share with my parents, I found an old porn on VHS that I know does not belong to me.

tags: parents pornography [add]

2008-08-19 14:24:39 / Rating: 344.5 /


I got up quietly, went out the side door, snuck around the back, and there was my father sneaking a cigerette, too.

tags: smoking parents father hiding [add]

2008-07-30 14:42:41 / Rating: 679.5 /


My father almost died when I was 14 because I lied to my Mom, telling her there was nothing in the drawer where I found his suicide note.

tags: parents suicide guilt [add]

2008-07-29 12:17:42 / Rating: 600.25 /


A sleepover is a bad idea when your parents have really loud sex.

tags: childhood embarrassment sex parents [add]

2008-07-22 12:22:13 / Rating: 983.5 /


Sorry, Mom and Dad, but when I said "law school in Chicago" what I meant was "culinary school in Vegas."

tags: school parents [add]

2008-07-01 15:07:33 / Rating: 513.25 /

Eliot Scott

When I called my dad, crying, from journalism camp and told him I had no friends, he explained, "Well, Eliot, you're kind of a nerd."

tags: parents advice humor [add]

2008-06-23 13:23:36 / Rating: 1118.75 /

She never knew

I first realized I was overweight when, at 12 years old, my dad congratulated me on my newest diet plan because he was placing a 'no fat chicks allowed' bumper sticker on the family's brand new boat bought for the following summer.

tags: weight childhood scars parents [add]

2008-06-17 13:17:07 / Rating: 447.25 /


The other day, my mother, who knows of my eating disorder of seven years, informed me that I wasn't skinny.

tags: anorexia eating disorder parents [add]

2008-06-11 16:26:34 / Rating: 515.5 /


Today my mother sent me a list of 25 ways I can improve myself.

tags: parents self help unwanted advice [add]

2008-04-25 10:24:16 / Rating: 387 /


His parents are as gothic as they come but he is a smiling, blonde haired kid with rosy red cheeks and happy blue eyes.

tags: kids contrast parents goth [add]

2008-04-18 10:16:18 / Rating: 491.25 /


His suicide killed me, too.

tags: death parents family [add]

2008-04-07 14:29:13 / Rating: 757.25 /

History Major!

It was harder coming out to my father as a history major than as a lesbian.

tags: coming out parents changing majors [add]

2008-03-27 20:36:30 / Rating: 645.5 /


Never could I have conceived that my own father would laugh at my kilt.

tags: trust parents clothes stupid [add]

2008-03-25 10:46:19 / Rating: 492.5 /


Honestly, I'd rather be a fry-cook.

tags: parents business school pressure career choices suck [add]

2008-02-29 12:47:39 / Rating: 447.25 /


To this day I cannot comprehend why my parents laughed when I told them I wished I'd never been born.

tags: bullying suicidal parents [add]

2008-01-29 15:30:26 / Rating: 530 /

Theoretical Theory

Because I have an aversion to admitting weakness, I don't have the money to pay for next semester and my parents think it's already paid.

tags: money school tuition parents pride [add]

2007-12-31 11:56:50 / Rating: 612.75 /


Spending New Year's Eve alone at my parent's house during my last winter break won't doom me to a lonely, sexless 2008, will it?

tags: college parents new year solitude [add]

2007-12-31 11:50:25 / Rating: 552 /


Standing next to my dad this Christmas, I realized for the first time that he's reached the age at which people begin to get shorter.

tags: age mortality adulthood Christmas parents dad [add]

2007-12-27 12:24:44 / Rating: 638.25 /


My best friend was ecstatic to meet her mother, the woman that walked out on her as a child.

tags: childhood parents loss [add]

2007-12-13 13:11:31 / Rating: 630.5 /

The youngest brother

Dad's been dead for six years and Mom died eight months ago, but my sister who was supposed to "take care of everything" just now got around to paying for their headstone.

tags: parents death family [add]

2007-10-26 12:56:19 / Rating: 652 /


I watched the old VHS tapes of him filming the ocean for most of the night with the sudden realization that he was filming the ocean because it was the last time he would ever see it again.

tags: death parents childhood [add]

2007-10-18 14:02:09 / Rating: 714 /


I opened the drawer expecting to find socks for my freezing cold feet, not kama sutra flash cards and a prescription bottle full of Cialis.

tags: parents whoops socks [add]

2007-10-05 10:26:45 / Rating: 544.75 /


My dad was my best friend until the day he looked me in the face and said, "You know, I never really did think you were pretty."

tags: Dad pretty vacation parents confidence [add]

2007-07-16 15:23:25 / Rating: 651 /


I used to wish my parents would divorce so that we could all be happier.

tags: childhood parents fighting unhappiness wishes [add]

2007-07-12 21:16:20 / Rating: 673.25 /


Perhaps it was karmic retribution that in rising to hug my father goodbye, my kneecap dislocated, and I never got that hug.

tags: humor karma love hug parents father pain [add]

2007-06-26 16:57:03 / Rating: 890.5 /

A Sad Grownup With a Little Girl's Heart

It constantly amazes me that every single day it takes me a few minutes post-waking before I realize that my father has been dead for almost 2 years and my mom is on her way to jail for prescription fraud.

tags: jail parents death awake [add]

2007-06-15 17:31:23 / Rating: 730.75 /


I hated long Sunday drives with my parents until the day they took me to see the redwoods.

tags: vacation parents childhood scenery nature redwoods [add]

2007-06-04 12:22:11 / Rating: 663.75 /


I didn't tell my mom when I got my period, even though I promised that I would.

tags: period lies mother parents promise [add]

2007-04-03 14:41:37 / Rating: 634 /


The greatest difference between me and my father is that, when playing games, I win and lose with grace, rather than with pride.

tags: parents competition winning losing [add]

2007-03-01 14:30:44 / Rating: 486.25 /


I was 42 and single when I got pregnant for the first time and my very religious parents surprised me by being happy rather than disowning me.

tags: pregnancy parents religion surprise [add]

2007-01-22 12:39:51 / Rating: 724.75 /

Sociologist Tina

As I stared at the stunningly precious likeness before me, I blithely told him that if I were in his shoes, I'd be telling everyone that my baby looked just like me!

tags: baby children parents appearance [add]

2006-12-27 11:55:14 / Rating: 594.75 /

Someone you know

We're not going to be ok...

tags: friends death love parents hate [add]

2006-11-16 16:02:54 / Rating: 811.75 /

distressing e

I don't really want to be an engineer but I REALLY don't want to be a failure to my parents.

tags: college stress parents [add]

2006-10-17 09:59:56 / Rating: 678.75 /


My parents grounded me while I was in college, three hours from home.

tags: school parents humor [add]

2006-09-28 09:59:00 / Rating: 772.75 /


My mother developed a criminal addiction to gambling because my father cheated on her twice.

tags: gambling parents infidelity [add]

2006-09-26 16:17:20 / Rating: 495.75 /


After experiencing the situation myself I suddenly realised you can spot if any person's parents are dead by the natural sadness on their face.

tags: parents death mourning [add]

2006-09-11 16:11:52 / Rating: 709.25 /