Story archives - tag: "religion"

Church Anxiety

The priest told me I was going to hell for being raped.

tags: religion rape priest hell [add]

2013-10-27 17:09:52 / Rating: 560 /


If my family is Christian, then why do I remember watching Sesame Street in Yiddish?

tags: humor religion grandparents childhood [add]

2012-04-17 11:45:29 / Rating: 501.75 /


When my religious grandmother told me that she thought it was "disgusting for gays to marry," I realized that she would never come to my wedding.

tags: lesbian love family religion anger [add]

2011-08-24 19:29:56 / Rating: 726.75 /


While my classmate's very Christian parents were fighting to ban Huckleberry Finn in English class for its profanity, my mom bought me a fictional book for my birthday detailing the lives of Japanese hookers and proceeded to think nothing of it.

tags: humor banned books mother religion [add]

2011-06-30 16:15:53 / Rating: 705.25 /


She called my beautiful new baby boy a "half breed bastard" because I don't go to her church.

tags: mother-in-law new baby religion bitch [add]

2010-08-19 14:56:51 / Rating: 446.5 /


I realized I had probably picked the wrong religion when the priest, a week after he had read my essay about acceptance and respect of all people out loud to the class, told me that I would go to hell after I told him I was gay.

tags: gay lesbian lgbt catholic priest out closet catholicism religion homosexuality [add]

2010-08-17 14:34:05 / Rating: 683.5 /


After surfing dozens of porn sites and downloading thousands of songs illegally, I finally got a virus on my laptop from a website containing quotes from the Bible.

tags: humor irony religion technology computer [add]

2010-05-24 15:27:24 / Rating: 1301 /


My family always joked I started going to church because I was having sex with the pastor, but that didn't come until much later.

tags: sex love religion church family [add]

2010-03-09 11:50:16 / Rating: 777.5 /


My grandmother never asked me to go back to Sunday School after I was told to color a picture of Jesus, while going through a 'draw handlebar moustaches and pitchforks on everything' phase.

tags: childhood religion art [add]

2009-10-23 12:36:19 / Rating: 724.25 /

The Lorris

When my pastor jokingly texted me the message 'Dude, you should really stop fantasizing about licking whipped cream off my buttcheeks...' I realized that I really do fit in there.

tags: church pastor religion best friends inappropriate?...nah [add]

2009-10-23 12:28:40 / Rating: 650.25 /


I am a Protestant in a Catholic RCIA class only to appease my fiance's parents, but I wish the priest would stop referring to my kind as "heretics."

tags: religion annoyance god does it matter? [add]

2009-10-22 17:59:34 / Rating: 410.5 /


While you were at camp finding God, I was doing shots at a house party.

tags: religion lost love alcohol I miss you [add]

2009-08-06 14:51:00 / Rating: 511 /


My little cousin asked, "If Jesus was human, does that mean he farted?"

tags: Jesus children questions religion [add]

2009-07-20 10:43:40 / Rating: 831 /

a fly on the wall

It only took 48 hours for my dad to start with the same tired old arguments, and likewise it only took 48 hours for me to start counting down the days until school starts again.

tags: home from college religion arguments counting down [add]

2009-06-08 11:34:49 / Rating: 401.75 /


My twin brother told me that if he thought God told him to kill me, he wouldn't think twice.

tags: religion atheism fear [add]

2009-05-19 08:37:45 / Rating: 688 /


How fitting; the more tarnished my cross necklace became, the more tarnished my faith in it.

tags: religion jewelry cross [add]

2009-05-14 14:14:23 / Rating: 548.75 /


My roommate for next semester silenced her overwhelming Catholic preaching for an entire year until after we signed the lease.

tags: Catholic religion preaching judgement unbearable [add]

2009-04-30 10:16:37 / Rating: 436.5 /

I'll get right on it

At the age of 17, a trainee religion teacher told me, an unbaptized athiest, that I wouldn't be given an apple at break if I continued to refuse to write a letter to God.

tags: humor religion apple [add]

2009-04-30 09:37:49 / Rating: 532.5 /


Somehow, I think she would have preferred I said "lesbian" rather than "Wiccan."

tags: lesbian wiccan religion [add]

2009-03-09 12:38:57 / Rating: 459.25 /


My priest decided that saying two hours of continuous rosaries was necessary for the safety of my soul after he found out what I did at my birthday party.

tags: religion [add]

2009-01-29 10:03:08 / Rating: 492.5 /


When the priest said my parents didn't raise me right because I was planning to marry a Baptist, I stopped being Catholic.

tags: religion faith [add]

2009-01-02 10:00:33 / Rating: 795.25 /


I lost most of my friends, the respect of my parents, and the desire to kill myself when I finally told everyone the truth about what I believe.

tags: wicca religion family school friends [add]

2008-11-06 14:17:27 / Rating: 987 /

Alicia n Jeanne

Alicia said, "Feliz Navidad," to which Jeanne replied, "But you're Filipino, not Jewish."

tags: humor religion ethnicity language [add]

2008-09-09 16:09:36 / Rating: 670.75 /


The wanting to kill myself first began when I was told there was a heaven and that my older brother was there.

tags: childhood religion [add]

2008-09-04 13:48:51 / Rating: 734 /


While looking under the couch cushions for the remote control, I instead found a pamphlet entitled "Would You Like to Know More About the Bible?"

tags: religion [add]

2008-08-15 22:58:50 / Rating: 430.75 /

Strawberry Poptart

Mormon boys corrupt just as easily as others.

tags: mormon religion fooling around CTR purity [add]

2008-08-06 15:38:58 / Rating: 512.75 /


I imagine the people at Harvard gave my application the same look Mary received from the Israelites when she told them her new son, Jesus, was immaculately conceived.

tags: humor religion college [add]

2008-07-30 14:41:13 / Rating: 865.25 /


I didn't realize it at the time, but my willingness to go streaking at a Christian school in the middle of the night was probably one of the strongest indicators that religion and I didn't have much time left together.

tags: Catholic religion streaking [add]

2008-06-25 22:05:06 / Rating: 784.75 /


I thought that I was a tolerant Catholic, but it turns out I was really agnostic the whole time.

tags: religion Catholic agnostic [add]

2008-05-22 12:32:12 / Rating: 750.25 /


Though he thinks he's got me over a barrel because my religion won't allow me to divorce him, he's going to be very shocked when the papers get there next week.

tags: divorce marriage religion [add]

2008-05-13 12:00:59 / Rating: 748.75 /


It took me till ninth grade to realize that it wasn't the best idea to preach Satanism to my Protestant friends.

tags: religion [add]

2008-04-01 12:03:45 / Rating: 492 /


My atheist neighbor has helped more people in the past year than my entire congregation has in the past ten.

tags: religion shame hypocrite ashamed atheist atheism [add]

2008-03-25 10:51:34 / Rating: 6197.75 /


Every time my former pastor asks me when I'm going back to church, I make excuses and evade telling him I converted to Paganism.

tags: religion paganism church evade lies [add]

2008-02-29 12:45:49 / Rating: 585.25 /

spiritual hypocrite

I rejected Christianity only to acquire the belief that Mars gives a damn about me.

tags: religion astrology [add]

2008-02-06 13:34:41 / Rating: 452.75 /


If you read the shortest verse in the Bible and truly understand it, you don't need to read the rest of them.

tags: philosophy Bible anti-religion religion [add]

2007-12-28 13:50:41 / Rating: 612 /


Growing up non-mormon in Utah has pretty much sucked.

tags: Mormon Utah religion [add]

2007-12-17 11:04:01 / Rating: 663.25 /


I've had butterflies for a week, can't stop smiling, and dread what will happen when he finds out I'm not Christian.

tags: adolescence religion butterflies [add]

2007-10-23 11:49:36 / Rating: 558.25 /


I considered myself a Christian until I had to take a religion class at a Jesuit university.

tags: religion [add]

2007-10-18 14:03:17 / Rating: 475.5 /


I am two books into the Bible and I have five pages of questions.

tags: religion [add]

2007-10-16 11:04:37 / Rating: 602.75 /


Last Sunday, waiting in line to receive the Eucharist, I finally realized I'm an atheist.

tags: religion epiphany atheism [add]

2007-09-28 17:12:01 / Rating: 841.25 /


I'm not a Muslim, but he is, and I want to show him that I can be just as strong, so we're both fasting for Ramadan.

tags: Muslim religion Ramadan fasting strong Islam [add]

2007-09-19 15:02:02 / Rating: 545.75 /


I wished I would have kissed you in front of my mother, just to show her that her God-fearing ways haven't affected me.

tags: gay lesbian vengeance religion [add]

2007-09-18 13:13:27 / Rating: 778.5 /


Rather than have the same pointless and one-sided conversation I'd suffered through so many times before, I gambled and told him I had become a Buddhist.

tags: religion humor lies gambling [add]

2007-08-07 16:22:45 / Rating: 686.5 /


I love giving people the wrong idea about me by wearing a cross around my neck.

tags: religion cross Jesus wrong impressions [add]

2007-07-30 13:30:59 / Rating: 581.5 /


I stopped listening to Family Force 5 after I realized they were a Christian band.

tags: music Christian metal Family Force 5 religion [add]

2007-07-27 09:30:42 / Rating: 638.75 /


I am only mildly concerned that I have to talk myself out of believing in ghosts, but talk myself into believing in God, and I still consider myself a devout Catholic.

tags: religion ghosts convincing [add]

2007-06-19 17:16:12 / Rating: 519.5 /


It split us up when she went from an open minded veggie to a narrow minded omni as a result of finding religion after her nervous breakdown.

tags: relationships vegan vegetarian mental health religion [add]

2007-06-19 11:01:51 / Rating: 679.25 /


My IQ rose yesterday and this world, and life, have taken on new meaning.

tags: religion spiritual philosophy [add]

2007-04-23 11:25:01 / Rating: 515 /


I lied and told him, "I believe in God," in order to make him love me.

tags: religion heartbreak [add]

2007-04-11 10:39:54 / Rating: 619.5 /


I was 42 and single when I got pregnant for the first time and my very religious parents surprised me by being happy rather than disowning me.

tags: pregnancy parents religion surprise [add]

2007-01-22 12:39:51 / Rating: 725.5 /


"It's an interesting coincidence that the third advent candle is lit on the third day of Channukah this year," said the Muslim gleefully.

tags: religion humour multiculturalism [add]

2006-12-18 10:00:46 / Rating: 623 /

G. Moss

She almost makes me wish I believed in God.

tags: love religion faith [add]

2006-11-16 00:06:15 / Rating: 698.75 /


My best friend was an evangelical athiest and eventually dumped me because I would not convert.

tags: athiest religion friendship [add]

2006-10-16 13:30:54 / Rating: 522 /


One-time I got in trouble in Religious studies for saying the word "vagina," but talked my way out of it by convincing them I had said "Virgin Mary".

tags: humor religion sex school [add]

2006-09-11 23:22:49 / Rating: 1087.25 /