Story archives - tag: "sex"


Symbolic of our relationship, we high fived after losing our virginities to one another.

tags: sex funny teen romance teen love [add]

2013-09-18 06:41:37 / Rating: 369.5 /


After three years of practicing abstinence with my hot fiance and counting down the days to the wedding, I'm in a sexless marriage.

tags: sex marriage husband [add]

2013-03-12 17:36:07 / Rating: 377.5 /


I did not normally have such long conversations with my baby sister, but talking with her that night was the only way I could mask the amorous sounds of our parents in the next room.

tags: sex christmas siblings [add]

2011-12-20 12:24:21 / Rating: 284.5 /


I got a new boyfriend and a urinary tract infection.

tags: boyfriend sex uti [add]

2011-11-15 12:34:45 / Rating: 250.25 /


Theatre people who tell me I'm 'not a real actor' because I've never been in a production have no idea that I never have sex out of character.

tags: drama theatre sex roleplaying acceptance acting snobbery can't really bring that up [add]

2011-03-28 19:13:40 / Rating: 558 /


His strict, Catholic, pure-minded mother caught us having sex on the pool table.

tags: sex mother irony getting caught [add]

2011-02-10 15:09:19 / Rating: 613.75 /

Scared Virgin

In tears, I wondered if this gynecologist ever had a patient whose first visit began in uncontrolled weeping.

tags: sex first experience growing up doctor [add]

2011-01-24 12:17:59 / Rating: 528.75 /


He insisted I wasn't slutty even as we lay panting and naked in the backseat of his car.

tags: irony sex guy friends [add]

2010-10-19 15:19:35 / Rating: 361 /

Jacque Lynn Schiller, summer, 2010

Darling Nikki was probably not the best song choice for family karaoke, Christmas, 1984.

tags: childhood humor music prince sex [add]

2010-09-09 08:25:06 / Rating: 533.25 /


My family always joked I started going to church because I was having sex with the pastor, but that didn't come until much later.

tags: sex love religion church family [add]

2010-03-09 11:50:16 / Rating: 776.5 /


The day after I lost my virginity, I tried to send my parents the message subliminally by repeatedly setting the thermostat in the house to 69.

tags: sex love first time [add]

2010-01-27 09:28:53 / Rating: 797.75 /

not naive, just better informed

Using Ken and Skipper as props, my cousin taught me that sex was when two people touched tongues and 15 years later I'm still correcting the misconceptions that it is impossible love without taking any clothes off.

tags: love sex family ties [add]

2009-12-07 16:48:25 / Rating: 448.75 /

lonely lover

You watched Cartoon Network over my shoulder as I gave you my virginity.

tags: sex love cartoons [add]

2009-11-16 22:33:09 / Rating: 735.75 /


And then her grandmother walked in and just started laughing!

tags: humor teen sex [add]

2009-10-27 12:38:34 / Rating: 471 /


When I told him that it was okay, it happened to a lot of guys, he turned his head towards me and said flabbergasted, "Who are all these guys you're talking about?"

tags: sex erectile dysfunction guys [add]

2009-10-04 22:46:43 / Rating: 546 /


As I tried to tag a sentence I submitted, my computer suggested the tags "sex, poison ivy, humor, feet" and I can't remember ever submitting a sentence that would include those four things.

tags: sex poison ivy humor feet meta [add]

2009-09-18 15:14:56 / Rating: 516 /

Close Call

My boyfriend confused the words "fornicate" and "elope."

tags: marriage sex [add]

2009-09-17 14:38:45 / Rating: 429.25 /


I hacked my ex-husband's IM account only to have a surreal conversation with a gay guy named Rob who was really pissed about the crabs he had caught.

tags: ex-husband sex [add]

2009-08-03 15:49:58 / Rating: 499.5 /


The very second I lost my virginity, a car outside my room sounded their custom Dukes of Hazard horn.

tags: college cars sex humor [add]

2009-07-13 16:03:04 / Rating: 671 /


We thought we were being so sneaky with our teenage sex rendevous, until we walked up the stairs to his room and heard his dad say, "Better make it a quickie guys."

tags: sex humor irony [add]

2009-06-19 16:30:01 / Rating: 710.5 /

One little mistake

Having mistaken the Ben Gay for the KY is a error my wife has never let me forget.

tags: sex oops hot times [add]

2009-06-10 11:06:06 / Rating: 581.75 /

Part Duo

He didn't believe in premarital sex until I asked him if he wanted to join me in the shower.

tags: sex love [add]

2009-05-29 09:12:37 / Rating: 856.25 /

Onion Volcano

My wife is self-conscious and overweight after bearing our three children, and I still can't stop tearing her clothes off.

tags: love parenthood marriage sex [add]

2009-05-20 14:11:38 / Rating: 4141.5 /


I realized today that squeezing my own boob feels a lot like squeezing my boyfriends butt.

tags: boob butt humor love sex [add]

2009-05-14 14:13:24 / Rating: 683.5 /


I said no, and he didn't stop, so I let him do it anyway so he wouldn't get even more aggressive.

tags: sex abuse guilt why [add]

2009-05-01 14:04:22 / Rating: 557.25 /


As I overheard my employees gossiping about how I "need to get laid," I had to wonder, would that prescription change if any of them knew I am a recovering sex addict.

tags: humor sex addiction hospital university guilt [add]

2009-04-30 10:08:06 / Rating: 866.75 /


It's ridiculously infuriating to attempt cybersex with an ADHD teenager.

tags: boyfriend ADHD damn it! cybersex sex love teenagers i love him anyway [add]

2009-04-03 13:37:59 / Rating: 738.75 /


I knew I had to find a steady boyfriend when the cat ate my birth control pill.

tags: sex humour sad [add]

2009-03-17 12:13:21 / Rating: 504 /

the other girl

"I would run away with you tomorrow if I weren't dating your best friend," he said while we were having sex on my best friend's bed.

tags: irony best friend sex cheating [add]

2009-03-09 12:41:44 / Rating: 580.75 /

happy girl

When I realized I had my period on the night of senior prom, I was glad I didn't wait.

tags: prom sex humor virgin period [add]

2009-02-06 14:10:07 / Rating: 586.25 /


I didn't plan on losing my virginity after lunch at McDonald's but these things just sort of happen.

tags: lunch virginity sex [add]

2009-01-30 11:09:31 / Rating: 807 /

Happy Leif Erikson Day!

Today, after weeks of avoiding the required parts of my assignment, I had to ask my socially-awkward Japanese pen pal about his sex life.

tags: college immature Japanese boys sex whatever gets me an A [add]

2009-01-19 15:17:28 / Rating: 502.25 /


We didn't wait till our wedding night and we were a little late for our reception.

tags: sex marriage love relationships romance humour [add]

2009-01-19 15:10:37 / Rating: 1111.75 /


We put our clothes back on so fast that if we hadn't hesitated in his room, panicking, his parents might never have found out.

tags: humor sex teenagers parents [add]

2009-01-16 10:56:37 / Rating: 520.75 /


Calling planned parenthood was way easier than trying to talk to my mother, a former sex ed teacher, about birth control.

tags: sex [add]

2009-01-14 09:11:36 / Rating: 357.75 /

Ever Curious

I've had a fivesome, some foursomes, and many threesomes with close friends, but the best sex I ever had was a one night stand with someone I had just met hours before.

tags: one night stand sex [add]

2008-12-17 21:50:49 / Rating: 420.5 /


Every time I think of September 11th, I remember how he tried to convince me to lose my virginity "on a day I would never forget."

tags: sex virginity irony [add]

2008-12-16 09:12:45 / Rating: 730 /


When I told him I wouldn't have sex with him in the back of his car, he replied, "But it's an Audi."

tags: sex humor convertible [add]

2008-12-15 16:37:34 / Rating: 974.5 /


I laughed when I saw the politician on television because he was the one who liked tickle torture and me in black stockings.

tags: sex politics [add]

2008-12-08 17:31:17 / Rating: 634.5 /

Kenna Coconut

The day my 8-year-old sister said that she wanted to be just like me when she grew up was the day I decided to stop smoking weed and not lose my virginity at age 16 to a lousy boyfriend.

tags: growing up weed boyfriend sex virginity lessons [add]

2008-11-21 13:58:34 / Rating: 1347 /


I'm selling my old mattress to a guy I had a one-night stand with.

tags: irony random humor sex [add]

2008-11-06 14:19:41 / Rating: 881 /


What is the correct answer when a six year old asks you what anal sex is?

tags: sex kids [add]

2008-10-22 12:56:39 / Rating: 523.25 /


Friends don't give friends seven orgasms.

tags: friendship love sex heartbreak [add]

2008-10-10 11:16:21 / Rating: 1487 /


I can't tell what's worse: the death of the boy who pulled down his underwear in front of me in the first grade or feeling terrible every time I tell people about the first time I ever saw a penis.

tags: humor childhood sex death [add]

2008-09-21 14:24:23 / Rating: 694.5 /


I know doctors hear it all, but how many other people fracture their hand while rapping on the wall to try to get the neighbors to stop having such loud sex?

tags: humor hospital sex [add]

2008-08-06 16:33:06 / Rating: 771 /


A sleepover is a bad idea when your parents have really loud sex.

tags: childhood embarrassment sex parents [add]

2008-07-22 12:22:13 / Rating: 982.75 /


The one-night-stand girl and I met again at an extended family reunion.

tags: sex humor [add]

2008-07-01 15:10:46 / Rating: 992.5 /


I couldn't stop staring at his crotch as we sorted concrete mixes in the lab.

tags: humor sex crush lust [add]

2008-07-01 15:03:20 / Rating: 564 /


Just as I realized we'd have to stop and find a condom, I saw my host dad staring at us through the car window.

tags: study abroad sex [add]

2008-06-24 10:31:58 / Rating: 470.5 /


The only intimacy that I can share with my husband are stolen touches in the span of two hours once a week.

tags: prison sex marriage [add]

2008-06-02 13:21:07 / Rating: 504.75 /


The number of teenagers that look around to make sure nobody is watching before answering "Nno, I'm not sexually active" is astounding.

tags: teenagers sex doctors [add]

2008-05-27 17:45:10 / Rating: 631.75 /


I blew out my knee making love to my fiance a week before I had to go to the recruiters office.

tags: sex irony humor air force injury knee love [add]

2008-05-08 17:37:40 / Rating: 795 /

In Love

I think my mom would be surprised to hear that my boyfriend of almost 1 year and I haven't had sex yet, even though we've slept in the same bed many times.

tags: love sex boyfriend mom [add]

2008-04-02 13:54:30 / Rating: 889.75 /


It wasn't until he pulled out the sex dice that I noticed I was the only virgin in the room.

tags: 18-year-old virgin party awkward sex [add]

2008-03-19 09:54:02 / Rating: 574.25 /


The priest didn't seem to have any sympathy for me when I complained about my wife giving up sex for lent.

tags: sex lent wife priest [add]

2008-03-10 10:13:09 / Rating: 760.25 /


Sex did very little to change my perception of sex.

tags: sex expectations [add]

2008-02-26 14:40:25 / Rating: 627 /


I don't know if it qualified as rape, but I know it was wrong.

tags: rape confusion childhood innocence steal lies sex [add]

2008-02-25 21:21:58 / Rating: 873.75 /


"Goodbye sex" only reopens old wounds.

tags: sex college love life [add]

2008-02-08 16:50:49 / Rating: 711.25 /


He said sorry as he left.

tags: sex no boner wtf [add]

2008-01-31 12:08:22 / Rating: 476 /

Drawn by children.

I didn't want to let him go so badly that I told him this could be 'just a sex thing', something I regretted in the morning when I woke up alone with a pounding head and a black eye.

tags: sex unrequited love being used abuse [add]

2008-01-23 12:02:05 / Rating: 573.5 /


I realized what irony was when I reached for my box of birth control hidden in a baby's onesie.

tags: humor irony sex babies [add]

2008-01-16 14:21:53 / Rating: 634 /


She thought I was looking at myself in the mirror, but I was actually flirting with another girl from across the room whose ass and eyes I caught in the reflection.

tags: flirtation sex humor irony love romance wonder mystery bullshit [add]

2007-12-27 12:25:39 / Rating: 792.75 /


He was too needy right up until the moment he didn't need me anymore.

tags: cheating sex busted apathy [add]

2007-12-13 00:20:36 / Rating: 707 /


The lesson I learned that night was "Don't sleep your way backstage to a show that only costs five bucks."

tags: lessons sex show business [add]

2007-11-26 12:36:44 / Rating: 584.5 /


He thought the slap I gave him was just an experiment in light S and M, but it was actually the anger of the past few months that I had to release in order to bring myself to sleep with him.

tags: anger sex relationships [add]

2007-11-24 18:29:26 / Rating: 562.25 /


Despite living together for months now, I can't currently tell whether my roommate is crying or if he's having phone sex.

tags: phone sex roommates cry [add]

2007-11-14 10:54:51 / Rating: 719.25 /

Tessa V

I was hoping that I would be disappointed by the booty call so that I'd stop liking you so much.

tags: sex college crush relationships [add]

2007-11-09 11:04:08 / Rating: 662.75 /

I don't want to be creditted.

I thought about taking off my purity ring as my hand gripped him tighter, but I was afraid it would make what we were doing real.

tags: sex abstinence [add]

2007-10-26 12:54:51 / Rating: 525.75 /


It's hard for me to concentrate in my lectures because I get distracted by imagining what it'd be like to make out with random people in my class.

tags: college kiss focus sex [add]

2007-10-22 14:06:43 / Rating: 857.25 /


"Is it true that you’re just sleeping with girls to get to twenty-seven because that’s your favorite number?" asked number twenty-two.

tags: sex [add]

2007-10-16 11:04:24 / Rating: 684 /

the ex

He says oral sex from a guy isn't cheating and is surprised I'm packing and moving out.

tags: sex bisexual homosexual oral shock [add]

2007-10-05 10:25:21 / Rating: 795.75 /


Afterwards, I accidentally blurted out, "That was better!"

tags: sex humor embarassment [add]

2007-09-29 00:22:03 / Rating: 730.5 /


Phone sex was almost as awkward as meeting him for the first time in person the next day.

tags: phone sex phone sex [add]

2007-09-26 01:09:16 / Rating: 557.5 /


Upon entering practice room 158 this morning to find a large penis scratched into the wood of the piano, I realized once again that college boys never do grow up.

tags: college music piano childhood penis sex [add]

2007-09-18 13:11:33 / Rating: 826.5 /


The next morning she told me she was married, and I told her that I was in her geography class 8 years ago.

tags: teacher love sex [add]

2007-08-23 17:53:02 / Rating: 902.5 /


The typo on the Chinese food take-out menu claimed that their Garlic Shrimp contained "flesh mushrooms," and now I can't eat there without giggling like a twelve year old.

tags: humor food Chinese food sex penis typo [add]

2007-08-07 16:19:05 / Rating: 753.75 /


I said no.

tags: sex [add]

2007-07-31 14:37:36 / Rating: 575.5 /


She screamed a different name, but I kept on going.

tags: sex [add]

2007-07-31 14:34:12 / Rating: 770.75 /


The next week, I "forgot" to shower and ate enough to make me ill, hoping he would stop finding me attractive.

tags: disgust drinking men avoidance sex [add]

2007-07-24 16:44:36 / Rating: 572.75 /


After being woken up several nights in a row by my neighbours having loud sex, I sat down and put more effort into writing them a letter asking them to keep it down than I put into my A-level exam papers.

tags: neighbours sex sleepless nights a levels thud bang groan [add]

2007-07-10 14:22:44 / Rating: 525.25 /

J. Enstar

I had an affair with my junior high school teacher and after that I was celibate for almost 30 years.

tags: love sex abuse [add]

2007-07-10 14:22:32 / Rating: 638.75 /

Dearly Defeated

On the other side of that door, just moments ago, I heard my life getting that much more screwed up.

tags: sex relationships roommates problem [add]

2007-07-03 17:15:22 / Rating: 603.75 /

Mrs. Jones

I can convince myself of anything, but it's a stretch to think that it's not cheating just because I'm no longer screwing you.

tags: love infidelity cheating marriage sex [add]

2007-07-02 14:32:02 / Rating: 701 /


My gay best friend had straight sex for the first time this morning with the girl who'd taken my virginity four years ago.

tags: sex virginity coincidence gay [add]

2007-06-20 15:03:25 / Rating: 739.75 /


Luckily his brother didn't pick the lock until after we were getting dressed.

tags: siblings humor sex [add]

2007-06-20 15:02:25 / Rating: 578.25 /


I knew what would happen if I let her take off my shirt, but I just wasn't willing to lose my virginity to a girl whose favorite movie was "Eurotrip."

tags: humor sex movies [add]

2007-06-15 22:52:06 / Rating: 883.75 /


He knew I didn't love him anymore when I turned away to sleep after sex instead of letting him hold me.

tags: love loss sex [add]

2007-06-15 13:37:14 / Rating: 758 /


He threw the condom out the car door when we were finished over a year ago, but I still feel guilty that I didn't stop him from littering.

tags: pollution sex guilt [add]

2007-06-13 15:14:06 / Rating: 741.5 /


It was only after the sleepover with whipped cream and pillow fights and her boyfriend on speaker phone that I found out she had lost her virginity to him an hour earlier.

tags: friendship irony sex [add]

2007-05-21 10:15:51 / Rating: 706.25 /

James A. Calwell III

Now I know what my mother meant when she said, "You'll understand when you're older."

tags: sex relationships innocence [add]

2007-05-14 13:41:06 / Rating: 660.5 /

Judith Thompson

I don't want him to see that I carved the word 'FAT' into my thigh with a razor, not because of what he'll think of me for being a self-harmer, but because he might agree with my thigh.

tags: sex crushes cutting general foolishness [add]

2007-04-25 15:53:44 / Rating: 718.5 /

how i'd like to be credited

Having everyone on the floor of his dormitory know exactly what we're doing for the next few hours is worth avoiding any more awkward intrusions.

tags: college love sex awkward [add]

2007-04-16 15:48:27 / Rating: 791 /


During my final exam, I plan to ask my girlfriend/professor to marry me.

tags: college professor sex marriage love secret [add]

2007-03-27 15:13:22 / Rating: 932.75 /


I had sex with her boyfriend and I haven't the heart to tell her.

tags: cheating sex guilt secrets [add]

2007-03-27 14:03:09 / Rating: 651 /


When I was 12 my mom told me that I should sleep with as many men as possible.

tags: childhood mothers sex [add]

2006-11-27 10:34:46 / Rating: 744.5 /

The guy wearing the bowler hat

Ever notice how a specific type of person never turns you on until you have a crush on that specific type of person?

tags: love sex [add]

2006-11-21 10:00:10 / Rating: 698.75 /


I was successfully hiding from you the fading hickies he'd given me... until you unraveled my scarf to rub my neck.

tags: love sex hickies caught cheating [add]

2006-11-13 14:21:33 / Rating: 705.5 /

Johnny Panic

I never figured out that she was your sister until the family reunion twenty years later.

tags: bawdy humor Freudian incest sex [add]

2006-11-09 09:59:11 / Rating: 687.75 /

you know who i am

I knew that night at the Holiday Inn was a mistake, and that was confirmed by my never seeing her again.

tags: sex relationships [add]

2006-10-30 15:02:00 / Rating: 502.5 /


I really did like the fact that she knew far more about sex than I did, until I suddenly realized how she came to be that way.

tags: sex life lessons [add]

2006-10-24 09:23:39 / Rating: 578.75 /


The only thing I think about when I sleep with my boyfriend is how much I wish he were my cousin.

tags: incest pathetic sex love-almost lust [add]

2006-10-18 14:28:03 / Rating: 666.75 /


As the eighth one in as many weeks clawed my back and squealed in my ear, it occurred to me that I loved the pretty girls much better back when they loved me not at all.

tags: sex boredom [add]

2006-10-16 14:51:53 / Rating: 520.75 /


I was lost into a world of abuse, sex, and alcoholism at the ripe old age of three and it went downhill from there until my first day of sobriety some 20 years ago.

tags: childhood abuse sex hope alcohol [add]

2006-10-05 12:55:20 / Rating: 740.25 /

W.C. Manchester

After four days of hemming and hawing, we finally made our love in the front seat of my car hidden in an apple orchard.

tags: sex [add]

2006-10-02 13:26:43 / Rating: 433.75 /


Due to this summer's events, I'm now addicted to taking guys' virginity.

tags: sex [add]

2006-09-29 10:33:52 / Rating: 539.75 /


One-time I got in trouble in Religious studies for saying the word "vagina," but talked my way out of it by convincing them I had said "Virgin Mary".

tags: humor religion sex school [add]

2006-09-11 23:22:49 / Rating: 1086.5 /


It wasn't the sex that proved she loved me, it was the first time she slept with me without having sex that I knew she would be the one.

tags: sex love [add]

2006-09-11 23:20:03 / Rating: 2502.5 /


I used to pray every month for my period to come, but recently I've started hoping it wouldn't.

tags: hope pregnancy period love sex [add]

2006-09-11 22:37:45 / Rating: 954.25 /

proletariat film

As the lithuanian midget, that was only known to me as Betrinka, flipped the homemade Madonna tape in her transistor radio, I realized fully that asking for "a little fun" in Prague meant something wholy different then in the United States.

tags: humor sex prostitution midgets madonna [add]

2006-09-09 20:39:41 / Rating: 745.5 /

Johnny Sorrow

When I said to her "do with me what you will," I didn't think she'd go so far.

tags: love loss sex humor [add]

2006-09-04 23:01:49 / Rating: 948.75 /


We were in bed one day and he told me that I was more fun than a game of Magic "sometimes."

tags: love sex nerdy funny [add]

2006-08-25 14:18:00 / Rating: 920.5 /


My first sexual experience was with my neighbor, who was older than me and told me we should play house and that I could be the mommy and she could be the daddy.

tags: childhood sex [add]

2006-08-12 19:28:27 / Rating: 667 /